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Old 04-22-2006, 01:51 PM   #1
The Minister Saint-Fond
 
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How to be a Man

So at one point I posted this nonsense about doing something manly. So. I've done it. And I'd like to share it with all of you.

So you've probably been wondering, "How do I make my Penis three inches longer?". Well, pulling on it doesn't work. That doesn't mean that I'm going to stop trying, though. Probably every day.

This, however, does.

I started straight razor shaving about a month ago and I highly recommend it to anyone out there with more time and money than sense. I have put together this little image doohicky to get you started.



It's just plain fancy and should be tried at least once by anyone over 18. It also rates at least five Harley Davidsons' worth of testosterone.

Just BE CAREFUL. And let me know how it works out for you!
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Old 04-22-2006, 02:26 PM   #2
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Shaving with a straight razor has always made me uneasy. It looks to much like a knife to me, and while I'm not squeamish around them, sticking one to my face doesn't seem fun.

By the way, I've been using Gilette for a while, and I get about twenty good shaves out fo them.
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Old 04-22-2006, 02:26 PM   #3
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They actually use straight razors at the barber shop I get my hair cut at. It's great. They don't use electrics for shaving. Just the razor, to shave the back of your neck, and sideburns and everything. It's freaking awesome and worth the money.
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Old 04-22-2006, 02:49 PM   #4
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Well, it may not be for everyone, but I enjoy it. It almost feels like I have a skill.

And yeah, at my barber shop too. They leave you really smooth and the shave lasts longer.

Plus, did I mention it's really butch?
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Old 04-22-2006, 04:09 PM   #5
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i don't think i'll ever use a straight razor to shave for the same reason why i don't stand on high ledges or walk across high bridges. i seriously just don't trust myself.
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Old 04-22-2006, 05:25 PM   #6
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shave your balls that how you become a man. maby you'll mess up and cut them off.
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Old 04-22-2006, 05:31 PM   #7
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...go away
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Old 04-22-2006, 05:46 PM   #8
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it wont work, may have tried.
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Old 04-25-2006, 07:07 PM   #9
The Minister Saint-Fond
 
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Update:

Because I know you care.

So there I was, a shavin' today. And things were going resonably well. I had just finished thinking to myself, "Hey, I'm getting pretty good at this!" when I sank that razor about a mil into my chin. Then Flattulus, Archangel of Irony, stopped by and is still laughing his ass off on my couch.

I'm having a little difficulty stopping the bleeding (it's not a serious cut, but every guy knows how face nicks never stop bleeding).

If I end up getting stitches, I'll post the pictures.
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Old 04-26-2006, 02:47 AM   #10
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You are a man by birth its just how it is. Doesnt matter what you do to your johnson it will still be johnson. The only way I can see to be more manly is to be around more men anything else is just cosmetics.
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Old 04-26-2006, 03:43 AM   #11
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I doubt shaving yer face with a straight razor makes you a man. Now shaving yer balls with a straight razor on the other hand...
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Old 04-26-2006, 04:45 AM   #12
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Dunno, Sternn... if your hand slipped it could have the, um, opposite effect...
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Old 04-26-2006, 04:57 AM   #13
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I would probably not use a straight razor to shave, although I do see how it can feel like a "manly" experience. Not in the sense that it's particularly macho, in my opinion - any idiot can do something that's potentially dangerous - it doesn't make you any more of a man. No, I think it's more the fact that it has a certain old-skool, gentlemanly flair that's just hard to achieve with an electric razor.

Unfortunately, I am caught in a capitalist conspiracy by Philips and Nivea, where the former made a shaving machine with a pump that spews forth a cream (looks like someone came all over my face) made by the latter... This shaving cream costs a fucking bundle, and it's painful - actually straight-up impossible - to get a good shave without it.
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Old 04-26-2006, 06:02 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CptSternn
I doubt shaving yer face with a straight razor makes you a man. Now shaving yer balls with a straight razor on the other hand...
makes you stupid.
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Old 04-26-2006, 06:04 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pitseleh
Unfortunately, I am caught in a capitalist conspiracy by Philips and Nivea, where the former made a shaving machine with a pump that spews forth a cream (looks like someone came all over my face) made by the latter... This shaving cream costs a fucking bundle, and it's painful - actually straight-up impossible - to get a good shave without it.
Hey Pits - try Aveano Oatmeal shaving cream. It's unscented and undyed and it's the only shaving cream I've ever been able to use. Affordably priced, I think, as well. If they don't carry it where you live, you might be able to order it from drugstore.com. It's where I have to order some of my favorite products because they don't have them in the UK and they ship to me here. Just a thought
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Old 04-26-2006, 06:35 AM   #16
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Thanks for the tip! I will check that out, definitely.

In the meantime, I have this goatee that I can't be bothered to endure the shaving of. Still, I'm not really complaining... I hear in the Russian army (among other ultra-sadistic rites they put soldiers through), they rub off your beard with a towel if you fail to shave. *gulp*
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Old 04-26-2006, 07:27 AM   #17
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i agree with icarian, id never use a straight razor either...maybe on someone else though....
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Old 04-26-2006, 12:43 PM   #18
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go use a straght razor so you can cut yourselves more. stupid goth bastards GO OUT IN DAYLIGHT.
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Old 04-26-2006, 12:49 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xnguela
My boyfriend has very coarse facial hair, and he's been tempted to purchase a straight razor to see if that helps.
Shaving can be very meditative. If he does get a straight razor, be sure he also gets a good face gel that lathers really well, and if he really gets into it one of those shaving foam warming cans. Anyway, the trick with shaving with a razor as opposed to an electric one is to get the hair soft and pliant. With electrics you want the hair firm and stiff so it gets as far into the razor as possible. With straights, the blade is already on the skin itself so you want the hair soft and the skin pores as open as possible - heat is your friend, so warm/hot water and warm foam will be awesome. It may also take a few tries to get used to the facial positions needed for a good shave, and for the skin to get used to the razor itself.

Also, shaving direction is important, and a skill that can't be conveyed here. >:P

Afterwards, you're going to want to use a moisturizing aftershave lotion - alcohol is no good, unless there's one that you really like the smell of. I'd use a non-additive lotion actually, and then slap on the aftershave only after that's had a chance to sit for a while.

I've recently become a fan of the stubble look, though the wife finds it a bit abrasive at times.
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Old 04-26-2006, 12:56 PM   #20
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My boyfriend has some Sioux in him so he can't grow a goatee/beard/sideburns. The poor guy really wants sideburns so I feel sad for him. I told him I would buy him some fake Elvis ones. ;-)
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Old 04-26-2006, 03:09 PM   #21
Icarian Decoding
 
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I got a new electric razor.
I am sorry to say, I am very disappointed, and I'm going to see if I can return it.

One. It's much more expensive, then what I need. While having an electric razor may save me money in the long run, I'll buy $150 dollars worth of disposables, and see where that get's me.

Two. It didn't shave that close. They recommend three weeks. Three weeks is also when the warranty expires, and I can tell you right now, it isn't going to shave any closer.

Three. It takes way to long to charge. About 12 hours for the first charge, and then it lasted only 15 minutes.

This is the one I got, btw: http://www.theessentials.com/jump.js...rID=257&KICKER
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Old 04-28-2006, 02:06 AM   #22
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I got a straight Razor with my haircutting stuff when I started school......

I use it to cut hair.....

I'm too Chickenshit to put it anywheres near my neck.... cuz this one time *At School* I was cutting the shit outta a maniquin head for class, and I didn't even notice the blade slice my thumb open...... only reason I knew was when I noted my maniquin's hair was much redder than usual...... clean cut.... nothing crazy glue couldnt fix... but Day-am..... thats a sharp thing....
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Old 04-28-2006, 02:10 AM   #23
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*Heh... I just noted the ranking system...... I need another S, Vanna.....*

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