Gothic.net News Horror Gothic Lifestyle Fiction Movies Books and Literature Dark TV VIP Horror Professionals Professional Writing Tips Links Gothic Forum




Go Back   Gothic.net Community > Boards > Literature

Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-23-2011, 06:21 PM   #1
Versus
 
Versus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
G.Net in the jungles of southeast asia.

TOP-DOWN CAMERA PANS SLOWLY ACROSS THE DIMLY LIT REFUSE OF A NEGLECTED MOTEL ROOM. EMPTY WHISKEY BOTTLES AND THE REMAINS OF CHINESE DELIVERY ARE STREWN ABOUT EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE ABOVE THE FLOOR. AMID THE REMAINS OF A HARD NIGHT'S DRINKING, A PASSED OUT VERSUS LIES SPRAWLED ACROSS A SPOILED BED IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM. LIKE A COILED COBRA MOMENTS FROM STRIKING, HE POSSESS AN AURA OF UNBRIDLED DOOM, EVEN IN SLEEP.

A HELICOPTER'S WHIRLING ROTOR BLADES CAN BE HEARD AMONG INTERMITTENT EXPLOSIONS IN THE DISTANCE, BUT HE REMAINS AS AN UNDISTURBED CORPSE. ONLY THE SOUND OF A STATIC RIDDEN RADIO TRANSMISSION ROUSES FAINT SIGNS OF LIFE IN HIS RIDICULOUSLY CHISELED BODY.

???: Versus!

MORE EXPLOSIONS IN THE DISTANCE. VERSUS GRUMBLES. THE SOUND IS SIMILAR TO WHAT AN IRRITATED BEAR MIGHT SOUND LIKE, BE HE WOULD NOT KNOW BECAUSE BEARS ARE SO AFRAID OF HIM.

???: Versus, wake up!

Versus: Colonel, [coughing up cigarettes mixed with a substance vaguely familiar in color and consistency to scrambled eggs] I'm greased. Leave me [Cough] and save yourself!

SEVERAL CLOSER EXPLOSIONS CAUSE HIS EARS TO RING AND THE GROUND TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY.

HumanePain: [In a voice undistorted by the deliverance of an old radio receiver] VERSUS,

OPEN THIS DOOR!

VERSUS' EYES EXPLODE OPEN. THE SOUNDS OF EXPLOSIONS AND CHOPPERS CEASE AND ARE REPLACED BY A KNOCKING AT THE DOOR AND A FAINT FLAPPING SOUND. AS HIS EYES FOCUS, HE IDENTIFIES THE LATTER OF A SLOW SPINNING CEILING FAN THAT STRUGGLES TO MOVE IT'S OWN WEIGHT. HE SHAKES THE MEMORIES OF A DISTANT BATTLEFIELD AND ROLLS OFF THE BED IN A HUNG OVER EFFORT SIT UP. AFTER A FEW MOMENTS, HE MANAGES TO SHAMBLE TO THE DOOR. RELEASING HALF A DOZEN DEAD BOLTS, HE OPENS IT TO BLAST HP IN THE FACE WITH A RELEASE OF HOT AIR THAT HAD BEEN TRAPPED IN THE MOTEL ROOM FOR A WEEK.

HP: Jesus, Versus! [Gagging sheepishly] It smells like a Thai hooker in there.

V: Really? [Glancing behind himself] I thought they left.

HP: Damn it, man! Have you been rotting here since the war? You look like a mess.

V: [Waving HP in as he approaches a cabinet to remove a pair of mostly-clean shot glasses] War is a messy affair, Colonel. Sometimes you can't clean the stains it leaves. Oxyclean, Mr. Clean, Pinesol... they can't wipe away the memories. [searching through a dozen bottles for any remaining booze] I'd expect you to know that more then anyone.

HP: [Finickingly brushing aside garbage resting upon a nearby chair to sit] I disagree, friend. You would be surprised what a pleasant demeanour and a pocket thesaurus can obfuscate! Not a soul within G.Net posses' an inkling concerning the beast I once was.

V: [Grinning triumphantly at having found a half-empty bottle, he pours a pair of drinks and hands one to HP] Whatever. The Colonel I remember knew how to say "cock-sucker" in as many ways as he could kill shit.

HP: [Raising his drink to toast with a smirk] To sending sausage-smokers to their knob-gobblin' maker. [Taking a long pull of his drink, he seems lost in thought for a moment before he returns to reality] I prefer Tea. Do you have any?

V: ...

HP: [Dismissively] But that's neither here, nor there... how goes it, V? Still introducing asphyxiation to your lessers?

V: [Amused] The only thing I choke these days is my cock-suckin' dick. I've been leeching off disability as much as I can, but I can barely afford to drown my sorrow in booze or rent porn. It's been hard.

HP: Disability, again? I have already informed you: A permanent 5 o'clock shadow and a restructured face in the shape of a scowl is not a disability.

V: [Indignantly] Fucker, Why don't you try getting a job looking like an offended Clint Eastwood? [adopting a serious tone] But I doubt you're here to shoot the shit with me. What do you want?

HP: [Defeated] Very well. I will be frank. [Ominously] G.Net needs you, V. Now, more then ever. Tragedy has struck. Not long ago, SSJ_Goku, Catch, as well as Superman and LexLuthor, all posted simultaneously. We are still uncertain how, but it seems that their combined insanity created a rift in the fabric of the forums.

V: [Scratching his head] My quantum mechanics are a little rusty.

HP: [Undeterred] The sticky threads, Versus: The barriers that separate our forum from "the next." They have collapsed. Without regulation, there is no rule of law. It is utter chaos. The Introductions are being flooded with agents from Vampirefreaks and Blueblood. TV, Movies, and Games currently have over 500 new threads about Twilight.

V: That's pretty typical, though.

HP: The Inuyasha manga is a commonly discussed topic in Literature.

V: [Gagging harshly] I feel sick.

HP: [Wiping a tear with a pocket handkerchief] You would fall upon your knees if you only saw the misery in the Whining... but that is not everything. In the turbulence of this madness, the trolls have played their hand. They've taken Apathy's Child hostage, as well as our beloved Godslayer Jillian.

V: [Confused] Who?

HP: [Flatly] Alan.

V: [Comprehending] Ohhhhhh.

HP: They claim that if their demands remain unmet, they will convert them into trolls and unleash them upon us. Imagine, for a moment, the destruction that could be wrought.

V: [Disbelief] What could a troll want from you?

HP: [Looking Versus strait in the eye] They want to be moderators, V. They want to reshape G.Net in their image.

V: [Acutely sobered] That's some serious shit to wake up to... but I still don't see where I come in. I left the forums. I've been busy.

HP: Because if you do not do something, tyranny will triumph.

V: And I care because?

HP: Because if you do not do something, it's unlikely you'll earn any notoriety at all, regardless of what you say. Writing a parody full of the more sociable members is the only method to cement yourself.

V: [Raising his voice in rage] Seriously! Apathy's Child wrote like 3 pages of literary masturbation and it already has over 3,000 views and hundreds of comments. HUNDREDS. My manly thread does not even approach that level of awesome. And it's a thread about MANLINESS.

HP: Now you understand the gravity of our peril.

V: [Deadly serious, he raises a hand to form a fist. Looking back towards HP, but without dropping it] When do I start?
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
Versus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:54 PM   #2
Pineapple_Juice
 
Pineapple_Juice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
And so it begins.
__________________
Now poop on them, Oliver.
Pineapple_Juice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:59 PM   #3
Alan
 
Alan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
This thread reads "G.net in the jungles of Pineapple_Juice" in the main boards window and that's why I came in.
Except now It's going to say "G.net in the jungles of Alan" so my commentary is not only useless but the sole reason of it becoming useless.
Pineapple, please make sure this is not so for long.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
Alan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:19 PM   #4
HumanePain
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
Blog Entries: 4
Hang in there Alan! And you AC! Help...or hangover... is on the way!

V: the use of deadly force has been authorized.
__________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKm_wA-WdI4
Charlie Chaplin The Greatest Speech in History


HumanePain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:33 PM   #5
Renatus
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
I hope I don't end up getting zombified, or stabbed with a pen again, or if I do at least not seriously injured. That is if I'm in this story.
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me

"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
Renatus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:46 PM   #6
KontanKarite
 
KontanKarite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Harlem
Posts: 6,909
Blog Entries: 1
Oh man. Do this. G.net needs a badass war story.
__________________
No Gods. No Kings.

Not all beliefs and ideas are equal.
KontanKarite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:51 PM   #7
Saya
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My posts can reach, yada yada yada,
blah blah blah blah-and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after banning.

You get what I'm trying to say here.
Saya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 08:57 PM   #8
Fruitbat
 
Fruitbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
Blog Entries: 12
absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!

Love it. Want more... please!!

Ahhh HP and V.. My heros... *insert dreamy sigh*

XD
__________________

"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato


Help me, I'm holding on for dear life

Fruitbat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 02:31 AM   #9
Sir Canvas Corpsey
 
Sir Canvas Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
The army? Well looks like I'm out, unless the soldiers visit some magic brothel in jungle somewhere.
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
Sir Canvas Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 02:41 AM   #10
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
I got kidnapped? Bitch, that weren't in the preview!!

Looks like the lit forum's gonna be a good place to hang ut for the forseeable future.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 03:34 AM   #11
Murder.Of.Crows
 
Murder.Of.Crows's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
Go get 'em Versus. God's speed.
Murder.Of.Crows is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 04:45 AM   #12
Versus
 
Versus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey View Post
The army? Well looks like I'm out, unless the soldiers visit some magic brothel in jungle somewhere.
You called it. I'll do you good, though.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
Versus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 06:36 AM   #13
Sir Canvas Corpsey
 
Sir Canvas Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
I'm sure you will, and I'm sure quite a few soldiers would given the chance. Ohohohoho!
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
Sir Canvas Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 08:13 AM   #14
vindicatedxjin
 
vindicatedxjin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
Blog Entries: 1
Can I be a jungle plant?
vindicatedxjin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 08:15 AM   #15
Solumina
 
Solumina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
Shit like this is what gets me through the work day (the off season sucks, my boss literally told me to do a puzzle the other day but I've already done all of our non-massive puzzles), keep this up so I can stay amused.


Also you should totally make Jin a plant, she would make an awsome plant.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
Solumina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 08:21 AM   #16
LexLuthor
 
LexLuthor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 95
Fuck yeah son.
This shit is tight.
Also I resent being portrayed as a troll, I prefer the term "caricature."

LUTHOR OUT.
LexLuthor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:20 AM   #17
Superman
 
Superman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 88
Sayms Bro, I ain't no mofucking Troll, I'm just an alter ego of Mir's fevered brow.
Superman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:30 AM   #18
vindicatedxjin
 
vindicatedxjin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
Blog Entries: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina View Post
Also you should totally make Jin a plant, she would make an awsome plant.
See this? ^^^^


This is TRUTH.
vindicatedxjin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:34 AM   #19
Pineapple_Juice
 
Pineapple_Juice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817


Saw you flying over the city this morning, Superman. May I have an autograph?

PS-nice spinners.
__________________
Now poop on them, Oliver.
Pineapple_Juice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:38 AM   #20
vindicatedxjin
 
vindicatedxjin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
Blog Entries: 1
Thumbs up

This made my day bahahha!
vindicatedxjin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:40 AM   #21
Superman
 
Superman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice View Post


Saw you flying over the city this morning, Superman. May I have an autograph?

PS-nice spinners.
I'll Autograph the shit outta yo' Titties Baby. Either that Or I'll Do you an S shield Vajazzle
Superman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 09:59 AM   #22
Still Jack
 
Still Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
This story has so much potential, I'm wondering who's gonna get plugged first.
__________________
Avoid all needle drugs - The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
Still Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 10:50 AM   #23
Pineapple_Juice
 
Pineapple_Juice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superman View Post
I'll Autograph the shit outta yo' Titties Baby. Either that Or I'll Do you an S shield Vajazzle
I choose Vajazzling.

They have Vajazzle porn now.
__________________
Now poop on them, Oliver.
Pineapple_Juice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 11:39 AM   #24
Versus
 
Versus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
I'll probably piss Jin off. But that's okay with me. <3
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
Versus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2011, 11:40 AM   #25
vindicatedxjin
 
vindicatedxjin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
Blog Entries: 1
Exclamation

...How so?
vindicatedxjin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:50 PM.