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Whining This forum is for general whining. Please post all suicide threats, complaints about significant others, and statements about how unfair school is to this board.

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Old 03-11-2013, 01:12 AM   #1
Sequester
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 0
No surprise

Originally I planned to start a blog but in the blog section I found everything but the link allowing me to post a blog entry. Eventually my unobservant nature met up with my laziness and together they decided it'd be best if I just gave up. Frankly, I only ever planned to whine and talk out of my ass in my blog anyways so I might as well do it here.

I had this dream that I was put in various different social groups agreeing with a bunch of different ideals I don't believe in. When I woke up I started thinking, you only ever feel like you're doing the right thing if you could validate it with others. Support can justify the most sinister belief, we are all uncertain; if you think something and find out no one else in the world agrees with you, you'll start to doubt your convictions. We are controlled by feeling, it dictates everything you do, it motivates anything you're going to do. It's why sex and money are such powerful motivators, it's the feeling that goes with it. We do things without thought, but it's always to feel better, we feel we owe that to ourselves. We are enslaved by our feelings, the more someone is desensitized the stranger they become, they would go to more extremes just for a certain feeling. The way we feel is our entire point, it's a truth I both hate and love; it's the reason I will fail, the reason I won't be able to change anything, but at the same time it's artful, I can admire the complexity of such a simple idea. How something so base can be skewed and twisted into morality and values. It's like having a ball that everyone sees as a shape that is convenient for them, but it's that very ball that is tricking their vision. Complexity is built on the foundation of simplicity, it's why understanding goes hand in hand with disappointment, not knowing leads to speculation, and the truth will never satisfy you as much as your imagination will.

I'm being pulled in a certain direction, the more I'm around people the more dissatisfied I become with how they are currently defined. Maybe it's part of the reason I avoid any semblance of a normal life, or why I'm incapable of having one. As I go deeper and deeper into my head I realize I'm eventually going to have to start something, and it won't succeed. People are too ingrained with who they think they are, you can only ever change someone if you offer them an incentive, and mine isn't as enticing as where they think they're headed in life. People need something to look forward to, and that's a truth I'm trying to change, but how can you change that if you can only motivate people through self gain? Sometimes I think I'm alone, like I'm the only person not strengthened by their feelings. I mean feeling is like the fictional drug in Cowboy Beebop called Red Eye, it's a drug that could allow you to do amazing things, but it only let's you see red. For most that is a very small price to pay, heck if I had a choice I'd be on it too.
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