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Old 05-18-2005, 04:01 AM   #576
pitseleh
 
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[quote="MrMaelstrom"]
Quote:
Originally Posted by pitseleh
I'm going through some vaguely similar (not including X'es or sex) thing with a girl who I definitely love like I have never loved anyone before. It's just so overwhelming, to feel like that after all the years of loneliness. I don't know how to reach out anymore...
Quote:
I know. I can still make eye contact, but I'll be damned if I go anywhere beyond that these days. Even when I got this gorgeous woman's e-mail last saturday, I still didn't e-mail the woman. What's the point - I thought - I still can't get HER out of my mind, so what's the use?
"What's the point?" Classic Marvinism... But yeah, I get it.

Quote:
Tell her. Write to her. Talk to her. Tell her what you think and feel. The whole truth. If she still dismisses you, let go... 'cause then she's not what you thought her to be. Let it out of your system, or it will poison you from the inside. Let it out and let the chips fall where they may.
Yes, that's obviously what I must do. Even a flat-out rejection would be better than all the what if-s gnawing at my brain. Thing is, we're friends-with-that-vague-feeling-of-something-more, and hang out on a regular basis, just the two of us. And I told her I was infatuated with her when we first started hanging out, which she was ok with. Still, she wanted to take it slow. Now, almost 4 months later, we still haven't really talked about it. We're both really shy and oblique, so we're always pussyfooting around the issue...

Quote:
I only got her attention back when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and thought: enough, this means war. I'm not gonna be your lover in times of need. I'm not gonna be your shoulder when you have no one else. This is how I feel and you're gonna listen to me, for once.
Good for you, man. That's a healthy self-preservation instinct right there.

Quote:
Do like the old hebrews did. Get up, stand on a stool, grab your nuts and say: thank God I was born a man.
Once you realize you're a man, you're more likely to act like one (which is really what they want, because they already have gay friends for the sensitive bits). Sorry for the machism. It ain't about not showing your feelings. Quite the contrary, it's having the guts to show your feelings for all they are. Bare yourself.
Did you know that pitseleh is yiddish for "tiny thing"? Hehe... ok, not so much physically, but when it comes to realizing my desires, it kinda applies to me. I do know what I want, but how to get there? I can only be honest, but I'm not gonna tell her I'll die without her either...

Quote:
If she don't like it, come down South, Summer's coming and it's gonna be very good for palefaces like yours. Good luck, mate.
Yeah, if stuff crashes, I just might do something like that. Some sun and good grass would be a nice change from the snow and poor hash.

Much thanks for the advice, and a heartfelt sorry to all you guys for taking up space with my love-angst. This is not the thread for it, I know.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:39 AM   #577
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Originally Posted by MrMaelstrom
Hey Wolfmammy, who in the hell do you think you are, little missy? If ya get a blister, we want to know immediately, let alone undergo surgical procedures (no matter how minor) without our prior consent, prayers and allover whining and sympathyzing?

We're like the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Protection of Animals)= FOR ALL CREATURES, GREAT AND SMALL!Capische? (love that word 8) )

Just 'cause Alkilyu nearly went to hell too soon :twisted: , doesn't mean we can't care or concern ourselves with your well being as well as that Wolverine-wannabe (notice how both got titanium implants and dig nipp chicks?). Capische? (I'm overdoing it, am I not? )
It's quite alright. I'd react the same if any of you didn't announce that you were going into surgery.

:P

Sometimes I just don't wanna seem like an attention-whore, even if you guys know that I am. I'm doing good, though, going to work later on today. I could post pix of my incisions if ya really want. They gave me a copy of the pictures they took when they did the procedure. I know what falopian tubes really look like and it's not the cutesy crap they show you in the text-books.O_o I do kinda wish I could've stayed awake and watched what they did.

The nurse called yesterday to check on me, I can't take the waterproof dressings off til tomorrow. I really am glad that they prescribe narcotics for the pain, cuz even the 800mg motrin that they gave me after labor just don't cut it. I couldn't believe they actually have the nurses call and check up on you, though. Blew my mind.

I was a mite nervous going in. I kept thinking, "If I end up like Terry Schiavo, please someone kill me." I definately want to get a living will made out. It's something my husband and I have talked about, but haven't yet done. The last time I had surgery was when I had my tonsils taken out at 6 y/o.

The pain's lessening each day, but I'm still a lil limited.

Next time I so much as hit my funny-bone you'll know about it m'kay, Papi Chulo?


Quote:
So, now that I've told ya off, tell us all about your amazing fertility that makes ya go preggers everytime you take yer knickers off, so that you have to get your hellspawning bits into a knot ....
Let's just say that pregnancy and labor aren't pleasant enough experiences to ever risk going through again.

My body is, mostly, mine again and from now on it's staying that way.

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Old 05-18-2005, 05:29 PM   #578
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feel better, babe. :)
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:38 PM   #579
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i finally had the chance to read through some of this stuff instead of just typing my own shit.

wolfmoon - i hope the pain is gone soon.

panther - i'm 35 also. wanna fuck?

and maelstrom - i've been looking forward to reading your recent entries concerning that woman - not in a voyeuristically fascinated way regarding your plight - but in a curious way as a man who often finds it very difficult to open myself to my wife when it comes to deeply intimate disclosures. i'm of the ilk to hide my insecurities and become aggressive - not in a physical way - but in an "i can handle it" way. your writing is beautiful in that it shows your pain while not allowing yourself to become a whiny, little bitch. i don't know where either of you believe you will end up once the difficulties have settled, if they settle, but i wish you both the best - whatever "best" is needed by the two of you.

pitseleh - good luck, man.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:49 PM   #580
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
i finally had the chance to read through some of this stuff instead of just typing my own shit.
Same here and ditto what he just said.

Wolfy... :x don't ever get something like that done without at least PMing me and/or EPS! That's great that you don't want to be an attention whore, but you are not, and THAT is not being an attention whore.

There are attention whores here, yes. Well, sorta...some sorta left...but still...you are not that.

Glad things are alright and hope you are feeling better soon.




And e_e: congrats and good luck. You need to get a palm pilot with bluetooth or something portable inbetween jobs so you can be on here more. When you aren't, it's noticable, and gay as it sounds you are a BIG reason why I am here still, so we need to fix this.


What did I do today? Drove myself to the store and Blockbuster to get my groceries and Team America. I was wearing shorts and forgot my belt, so I litterly had to hold them up with one hand, and I forgot my neckbrace so I was using one hand to keep my pants from falling off in public and the other to cover up my scar so as not to gross people out. :P
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:54 PM   #581
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
panther - i'm 35 also. wanna fuck?
yes, but not you. :P
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Old 05-18-2005, 11:05 PM   #582
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Panther
Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
panther - i'm 35 also. wanna fuck?
yes, but not you. :P
ouch.






oh, and al - thanx, man. luv ya too (bursting with gayness). things will settle soon on the homefront and my insane lust for the goth chics will return with a vengeance. not to worry.

other plans for the summer - bartending course for certification - i wanna work one night a week behind a bar. fun.
multiple renovations in the home.
and register for school to start in the fall. gonna go for my master's, baby. ooh yeah.
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Old 05-18-2005, 11:17 PM   #583
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Good luck with getting your masters! Getting my BA is a btitch, Ic an't even think how hard a MA would be.

Oh, and i made an appointment for my next tattoo. But I may not have neough money. Ive posted this somewhere else.

And I had a large emotional breakdown. But I think I'm okay, for the moment.
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we'll both be lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent
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Old 05-19-2005, 01:43 AM   #584
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I went to see Star Wars!! There were a couple of Jedi. I wanna be a Jedi. It was a good movie compared to the first two new ones although the old trilogy pwns it so hard. Anyways, emotional breakdowns suck. I feel like I'm going to have them all the time now. I keep thinking about stuff too much and I worry about how I'm annoying my boyfriend and all this crap. I don't like it one bit!!
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:54 AM   #585
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i agree. emotional breakdowns do suck. i haven't had one but i listen to others who suffer from them and i think i understand enough to know i never want one.

perhaps fifteen consecutive orgasms would help put things into perspective?
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Old 05-19-2005, 04:45 AM   #586
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Wolfie, I'm going to jump on the scolding bandwagon here, and say "Ditto, that!" to everything else said about you. Don't go traipsing off for any kind of surgery again without letting us know. If nothing else, I can light a candle, and channel some good energy your way. I did it for Al, I would do it for you, too (and damn near anyone else here at g.net).

I feel like this is a family here (albeit a slightly disfunctional one...but then, that's the charm). Family sticks together when the chips are down, even if we fight like cats and dogs other times.

*hugs*

In other news.... :P

Ever notice how, if you don't stay on top of the clutter constantly, it becomes a living, breathing -thing-? :shock:

Over the past two years, because Sam and I worked weird shifts opposite of each other, we've just managed to do the basic cleaning, and didn't really deal with the clutter. All too often, it was due to him being asleep while I was up, or vice-versa. Add to that, the stress we were both under for various reasons (I'm talking worse stress than just day-to-day living stress), neither of us really felt up to it, anyway. The apartment wasn't -dirty-, just cluttered. It doesn't help that it's a small 1 bedroom, and because Sam is a big guy (over 6'3"), he also has big furniture. Plus the pieces that I didn't give away, but brought with me when I moved in...and you have yourself a rather crowded apartment.

For the past 3 weeks (Yes...-three- weeks...GAH!), we've been in the slow, and tedious process of organizing crap. A whole shit-load of stuff has been tossed, I found good, solid storage tubs on sale, and bought about 10 of the damn things, plus a set of utility shelves, and managed to get the nightmare of a closet organized. I now have about 3x more stuff in there, than we did before (Sam bet me I couldn't do it, I bet him I could. I expect breakfast in bed in the next few days), and alot of it is stuff that was sitting out all over the place, because we didn't have anywhere else to put it.

But we're almost done!!!!!

We're also steam cleaning the carpets a patch at a time (too -damn- much furniture!!!!!), and I've put together a curio for the pretties we are keeping out, plus we're getting rid of that monster of an entertainment center, and replacing it with something smaller, and sleeker, and storing a shitload of books (most of them are already stored away in that closet...and yes, you -can- find everything, and you -do- have room to move...a little).

And right now, the living room looks like HELL, because that's the last room we're going to do, so there's not much place to sit. :lol:

But....

We're almost DONE!!! WooHoo!

And I'll stop rambling, now. :oops:
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Old 05-19-2005, 05:37 AM   #587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
i agree. emotional breakdowns do suck. i haven't had one but i listen to others who suffer from them and i think i understand enough to know i never want one.

perhaps fifteen consecutive orgasms would help put things into perspective?
*blank stare* *ponders*

Probably not, actually. A bowl of ice cream and a gun might help, though.

And I second what DrgnLvr said, Wolfie. But it's good that you're doing alright. Hopefully this surgery works out the way you want it too.
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Will we walk all night through solitary streets?
The trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses,
we'll both be lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent
cottage?
-Allen Ginsberg, A Supermarket in California
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Old 05-19-2005, 05:54 AM   #588
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Congratulations!

I know what that is like... I find it hard to throw things away, so they gather and multiply... I think I might have to follow your example soon, otherwise I'll have to move out and leave the appartment to my stuff!

What did I do today? I tried a thousand times to upload pics but to no avail. My computer hates me (and e_e. Could it be that it's jealous?) :roll:
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Old 05-19-2005, 07:36 AM   #589
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skoteinh
Congratulations!

I know what that is like... I find it hard to throw things away, so they gather and multiply... I think I might have to follow your example soon, otherwise I'll have to move out and leave the appartment to my stuff!
Urgh. There's still a ton of stuff that -could- be tossed, but Sam won't let go of it. Like an ancient VCR that doesn't work, and will never work again. He refuses to part with it because it was his father's. :? He's got a ton of stuff from his parents, after they died. Most of it is kinda useless and taking up alot of space, and I don't have the heart to get demanding about getting rid of some of it. It's going to have to be his decision. But I did make one demand. That from now on, no more new things of "sentimental" value, unless it's -seriously- sentimental. Because if that closet runs out of space, I start tossing (newer stuff, not the old stuff).
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:58 AM   #590
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You gotta toss some shit out from time to time, drgn. It can be hard, but better to get rid of some of the clutter than to let it take over your living space completely. There's a TV show here about two british ladies who help filthy americans clean out their disastrous homes. :wink: Hope you don't have it that bad. I'm sure you don't. Lykke til, iallefall. (Good luck, anyway.)

And I'm glad to hear you're a-ok, WolfMoon. I'll go against the grain here and say that you can do anything you please without telling us here. That's your prerogative, as Britney would say. But it's nice that you're safe, and even if you did come out and say: "Guess what, I'm having a BIG, SCARY OPERATION tomorrow, and you all better be on the edge of your seats, weeping and lighting candles for me!!" - no one would accuse you of turning tricks for attention. You're just that special to us.

But hey, what the hell did I do today?! Something, that's for sure!

Ok, first off, I went to my homeopathician. Is that even a word? Homeopathic doctor/healer, whatever, you know what I mean. Natural remedies, accupuncture, all that stuff. See, I got this rash on my cheeks (no, it's not a cunnilingus rash...) And since this doctor gave me a super-powerful, clamydia-fighting antibiotic to ***** it, it's gotten worse, and I've apparently contracted some kind of yeast-imbalance in my body. Yeah, it's not as gross as it sounds. So now, my homeopathically educated healing-person says, I gotta go on a diet where I - get this - can't eat anything containing yeast, sugar, simple carbohydrates, milk, mould, etc. Which is basically all pastry/ bread, cheese, dairy, processed meat or food in general, and candy/ chocolate! Stoner hell! So, yeah, now I have to go all healthy and shit. Which is not that much of a stretch, but it's gonna be a bit of a chore... But whatever, if it gets rid of my rosy cheeks, I'll be happy.

After I was there, I went with my grandfather to the woods and chainsawed some huge pinelogs for firewood. Man, they were heavy, but it's good working out in nature.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...

Right now, I'm ripping some tracks for a compilation I'm making for this girl... you know. Just some light pop and acoustic stuff for days like this, when the sun unexpectedly pops out from the grey sky and makes it a little more beautiful to live.

Well ain't I chipper today... Disgusting, innit?

:wink:
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Old 05-19-2005, 10:50 AM   #591
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Okay, next time I get spanked use the cat~o~nine~tales, guys.

Just don't let EPS find out, cuz she'll whoop me good!

:shock: :oops:


Pit, it's actually Bobby Brown's song, :wink: But as a long-standing member of this forum, I do feel guilty about not telling everyone. It just wasn't cool. Like I said, I'da reacted the same way if some else on here hadn't told us they were going under the knife. It does feel good that people care about me going through a simple thing as that though.






And now a special song for Pitseleh! It popped into my head when I was reading about your voodoo-hippy-shaman guy.

:wink:

I told the Witch-Doctor I was in love with you

I told the Witch-Doctor I was in love with you

And then the Witch-Doctor he told me what to do

He said

OO~EE~OO~Ah~Ah~Ping~Pang~Walla~Walla~Bing~Bang

OO~EE~OO~Ah~Ah~Ping~Pang~Walla~Walla~Bang~Bang



:P

P.S. He gave you medicine for 'The Clap'? Are you sure it's not cunnilingus-related?
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:14 AM   #592
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Heheheheee! That's fucking great, thanks. And didja know, I actually did talk about love with my "voodoo-hippy-shaman", who is a woman actually. And she did tell me what to do. Which is why I'm here right now making a CD compilation with a hand-drawn cover for this girl...

Fuck, you really nailed me with that song... I'm scared. Scared and horny.
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Old 05-19-2005, 01:35 PM   #593
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skoteinh
I tried a thousand times to upload pics but to no avail. My computer hates me (and e_e. Could it be that it's jealous?) :roll:
i could NEVER hate you, goddess. my guess is - your computer knows a good thing when it sees it and doesn't want to share.

every pic you upload to your computer is like winning the lottery to all those electronic parts. goddamn, you're fuckin' hot.
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Old 05-20-2005, 05:04 AM   #594
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
Quote:
Originally Posted by skoteinh
I tried a thousand times to upload pics but to no avail. My computer hates me (and e_e. Could it be that it's jealous?) :roll:
i could NEVER hate you, goddess. my guess is - your computer knows a good thing when it sees it and doesn't want to share.

every pic you upload to your computer is like winning the lottery to all those electronic parts. goddamn, you're fuckin' hot.
Darlin',

First of all thank you, you managed to get me all red (and hot) again :oops:

Second of all :P I never said you hated me! I meant my computer hates you, and I wondered if it is jealous of you
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Old 05-20-2005, 10:00 AM   #595
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oh...

i knew that...

and, uh, yeah... that's gotta be it.

JEALOUS
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Old 05-20-2005, 01:31 PM   #596
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Heheheheee! That's fucking great, thanks. And didja know, I actually did talk about love with my "voodoo-hippy-shaman", who is a woman actually. And she did tell me what to do. Which is why I'm here right now making a CD compilation with a hand-drawn cover for this girl...

Fuck, you really nailed me with that song... I'm scared. Scared and horny.
It just, uh, came to me, lol.

I guess that's what I get when my psyche wanders.

I'm depressed and horny.


:shock:
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Old 05-20-2005, 04:47 PM   #597
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Im POSITIVE there are those around here who would remedy your situation, given the opportunity.
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Old 05-20-2005, 11:39 PM   #598
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well, hell, I'm horny too.

We should just have a big group orgy.

and, as for what I did today. . .

I took myself off hte market, s t speak, unless I'm approached by a hot interresting lesbian for coffee and a movie.

And I found out ym ex-boyfriend kissed a boy.

And teased him. Mercilessly.

yeah for not letting emotions get out of control!

And I also had an okay day at work, due to finally gettigna full night's sleep. I susupect this oculd be a sign of hte end of the world, you might want to check wiht your spitritual advisor. Or do things you've always wnated to do.

I'm led once again to the group orgy idea.

Edit: So much for not loosing control of my emotions. And I'm sorry my curiosity and angst got the better of me. I'll try t refrain from bothering you from now on.
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Will we walk all night through solitary streets?
The trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses,
we'll both be lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent
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Old 05-21-2005, 04:00 AM   #599
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I reduced copyright infringement.

THANK YOU NO-RIGHT CLICK SCRIPTS! :lol:




*Soul*
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Old 05-21-2005, 05:46 AM   #600
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... excuse me ...

i heard someone is looking for a hot and interesting lesbian for coffe, a movie and some group orgy sex...

that would be me.

thank you.
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