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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
09-29-2008, 01:17 AM
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#26
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Originally Posted by Mealla
It's not great, but everyone starts somewhere. The rhyme scheme does make it flow off the tongue, and the writer did avoid the common "forced rhyming/ awkward wording/passive voice" common to many teen poems, but rhyme scheme in and of itself doesn't make a good poem, and the phrases used are cliche to the point of sounding like something out of a Hallmark card if Hallmark were to start an emo line.
If she really is poor and has had a lot of bad experiences, tell her to try writing something about a specific incident she has experienced that made her feel the way she does. Using real life experience as a starting point may help her touch on something more universal without hitting so many cliches, and the specific experience may bring out more vivid imagery.
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Sure thing, i'll tell her as soon as I talk to her.
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09-29-2008, 01:21 AM
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#27
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack
Your friend sucks as a poet.
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yes, I agree with you on that. Though she's much better at singing.
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09-29-2008, 01:24 AM
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#28
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
If you can find where I've insulted you, I'll eat my hat.
Anyway, I'm sure there are people who like it.
I'm sure.
However, that person would not fall into the category of people I previously mentioned, that being "people who know what good poetry is."
That said, tell your friend I say to keep writing, and keep reading poetry.
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Really? You'll actually eat your hat? Cool. I'll search for an insult then. I'll also tell her that.
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09-29-2008, 02:08 AM
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#29
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: In your dreams.
Posts: 698
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Originally Posted by mizery
-_- ok now your just jumpng to conclusions. First of all I hate Stephanie Meyer and Anne Rice. Secondly, I don't care (note that I'm not swearing, because that would be unintelegant) if you have eleven 'smart' people against me.
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Holy crap.
Did you just spell unintelligent wrong?
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09-29-2008, 08:16 AM
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#30
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by mizery
note that I'm not swearing, because that would be unintelegant
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Bitch, next time you try to convince yourself you're smarter than George Carlin himself because you don't know how to curse for emphasis and think having a silver spoon up your ass and not cursing like us poor proles with no manners is a sign of intelligence, at least fucking spell unintelligent right!!
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.
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09-29-2008, 11:41 AM
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#31
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 1,830
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Well, Jillian, she did at least admit that the thing sucks. Thatīs almost the same as being able to handle criticism. Itīs a start, isnīt it?
Anyway, Mizery, you really must learn not to take everything as a personal insult. These people were just trying to help you/ your friend. If it sucks, then it sucks, simple as that. Find a way to make it better. Rephrase the idea into something eloquent and interesting. Oh, and do yourself a favour and get yourself a good dictionary. I recommend the blue, thick Oxford dictionary. Never failed me so far.
__________________
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you
- The Cure, "Love Song"
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09-30-2008, 10:39 AM
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#32
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 22
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Hey, I'm new and everything, so...
I'll just say that it appears that posting things here is akin to asking for criticism and opinions.
If you and your "friend" aren't interested in the views of others it would make sense, you know, to...
Nevermind, wow.
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09-30-2008, 11:28 AM
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#33
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Cumbria, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,153
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MissJane
Hey, I'm new and everything, so...
I'll just say that it appears that posting things here is akin to asking for criticism and opinions.
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Only if it's shit.
Which is what this is.
__________________
'The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.' - Salvador Dali
Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*
'To become truly immortal, a work of art must escape all human limits: logic and common sense will only interfere. But once these barriers are broken, it will enter the realms of childhood visions and dreams.' - Giorgio de Chirico
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09-30-2008, 03:32 PM
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#34
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Originally Posted by MitsyMayhem
Holy crap.
Did you just spell unintelligent wrong?
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Yes I did.
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09-30-2008, 03:34 PM
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#35
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MissJane
Hey, I'm new and everything, so...
I'll just say that it appears that posting things here is akin to asking for criticism and opinions.
If you and your "friend" aren't interested in the views of others it would make sense, you know, to...
Nevermind, wow.
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I get what your going at, I too am new and stuff so I wasn't really expecting this much critism, but oh well.
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09-30-2008, 03:37 PM
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#36
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Idaho, unfortunatly
Posts: 37
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Minyaliel
Well, Jillian, she did at least admit that the thing sucks. Thatīs almost the same as being able to handle criticism. Itīs a start, isnīt it?
Anyway, Mizery, you really must learn not to take everything as a personal insult. These people were just trying to help you/ your friend. If it sucks, then it sucks, simple as that. Find a way to make it better. Rephrase the idea into something eloquent and interesting. Oh, and do yourself a favour and get yourself a good dictionary. I recommend the blue, thick Oxford dictionary. Never failed me so far.
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Ha-ha I accually have a small pcket dictionary. My friend however shuns the dictionary and chosses simple and made-up words. It's really dumb of her, but it's her writings and she can write however she likes.
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09-30-2008, 06:53 PM
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#37
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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And we can think however we want to think. And the consensus in the world is that it's shit.
So respect everyone else's opinion in the world and stop saying it's good when value is only created through everyone's observation.
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.
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