Is Anyone Else Shy?

[TheSomnambulist]

I am so dreadfully shy and quiet that it is painful. I don't know how to assert myself and just start conversing with people. I get so anxious about it. I don't want to be overbearing and talkative, but it's difficult for me to say anything at all. Does anyone have a similar problem, or some kind of advice?

[Saya]

I am. I'm very self conscious and I rarely talk. Mom still likes to tell the story of how in grade five my principal called her in and asked her if I was being mistreated at home or if I was retarded. He couldn't understand why I was so quiet.

I still don't talk much, but I'm not quite as shy as I was a few years ago. I think just working a job where I have to deal with a lot of people on a daily basis forced me to come out of my shell a little. When I started my first job at a call center my nickname there was Mute XD

I get all anxious too, and feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me and I'm afraid of making an ass of myself. I feel sometimes like I'm under the microscope. I find myself absolutely unable to speak, or I can't think of the words I want, or I might even stutter. I talk really funny sometimes. But I don't know, in the last few years I've just became determined to get over it, even if I'm feeling scared and anxious I make myself talk, and its paid off.

[Jonathan]

Oh, ferociously so.

For whatever reason, I am for the most part quite useless at initiating contact. If I can somehow stumble my way through the initial awkward moment I can be pleasant and charming, but it is generally a matter of getting a chance to get into the flow of things. In short, I spectacularly fail at first impressions. When people approach me, it is a totally different scenario, but that doesn't really come up very often. I can hold my own, but really need to have that outgoing and sociable friend to introduce me to new people, or I'd never meet any.

I think it is one of those things you just kind of have to force. Eventually it becomes less of a big deal. In the span of a year, I've gone from looking at my shoes, to looking at _their_ shoes, to actual eye contact once in a while. I guess it just takes practice.

[Tam Li Hua]

I was when I was a teen. I think moving to college helped me a lot; once I was in a brand-new environment and could make a new start, it seemed like it was a little easier.

Also, a lot of the advice I got from the book How To Win Friends And Influence People really helped.

[dead_dreams]

Only out in general public

[Steppenwolf]

I am .. And sometimes it´s awful because you can´t help feeling guilty if someone is trying to reach you and you simply don´t want because you feel afraid of it ...
Perhaps you picture the answer before you make the question? You should give people the benefit of the doubt . Some of them will say exactly the robot answer , some migh not ...
It is hard and boring and meaningless to talk about the weather , but ... you know ... It is the first step if you want to make some friends ...

[Godslayer Jillian]

I'm shy with pretty girls.
I cannot talk with them for my life.
Beside that, put me in front of ten thousand people, and I'm like Malcolm X.

[dead_dreams]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

I'm shy with pretty girls.
I cannot talk with them for my life.
Beside that, put me in front of ten thousand people, and I'm like Malcolm X.

I have that same problem except for the "10 thousand people" part. I would be scared out of my mind

[Jonathan]

Yes. In the presence of anyone I find attractive, I become absolutely useless.

I'm generally not one to strike up random conversations, but when I'm face to face with a pretty girl I'm doing good to remember how to breathe.

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

I'm shy with pretty girls.
I cannot talk with them for my life.
Beside that, put me in front of ten thousand people, and I'm like Malcolm X.

It's funny how being in front of a crowd can be so much easier than just one person. When I was a kid I was especially shy, but put me on stage for any reason and I was the opposite.

Mostly I've reversed my shyness by observing my extremely outgoing sisters in their social conduct, and also by being forced into situations where I simply can't act shy (in front of cameras and surrounded by film crew on a commercial shoot, for example). Nowadays I'm still not overly extroverted, but I'm not nearly as anxious as I used to be.

[TheBloodEternity]

I'm insanely shy and socially awkward. =\

[Technowitch]

Ugh, yes. I'm terribly socially awkward. I find it hard to go up to people and start a conversation, even if it's for something important like asking for directions when I'm lost. It's something I've been trying to work on, and being employed in food service definitely forces me to come out of my shell a bit, but it's not easy. I'm just a hopeless wallflower. :<

[MollyMac]

Oh yeah.

Utterly.

[Kaali]

I have a lot to deal with. I"m not only shy, but overly self-conscious, sensitive, and slightly agoraphobic. I have a lot to say, but I think that no one wants to listen(I use to be the "know-it-all" in high school, but I have since learned not to say much around certain people, quick. Not that I won't talk to get participation points in class. But I make it my point to keep some things from my non-friend peers.). I avoid going to a lot of places, even if I think I might meet like-minded people, and new friends, cause I guess I just have a really bad fear of rejection. This is all the root of my shyness. I don't say a lot in class, and sometimes I forget what i'm going to say, sometimes I don't ask the teacher to repeat something if I miss it(Although i'm breaking myself of this habit now). I always sit in the back, as well. I'd never sit up front because I feel it would hinder my academic performance(It has before. Like the first time I took my ACTs). I"m just socially retarded. Wish it wasn't so hard to find more like-minded social rejects.

It sucks because a lot of people interpret my shyness as meanness. Which just makes more people avoid me. My coping mechanism is just to stare people down and act unaffected. It works, but it's not a good thing when you can't deal with the effects of driving people away(Which would be, driving people away.).

[Jaye Jang]

I only 'talk' to you guys. No. Seriously. I only actually talk to my mom and my daughter, and one or two friends. (That's probably why the hyperaggressive she-cats at my job have such a 'field day' with me. If I could e-mail them, I would tell them volumes -- but that would be 'inappropriate.' Ironically, I get acused of -- and invariably written up for -- being 'aggressive.' What a joke).

[Nocturne Midnight]

I'm fairly shy. It sort of depends on the day. There's some days when I'm like some kind of Extroverted charming eccentric. Then there's days when I just clam up and talk to maybe one person the whole day.

On the subject of attractive women, I get weird and sort of immature around them. But then I can also be very coy and charming. Once again, depending on the day. Also, I've found that if I think friend and not lover, it gets easier. Lover comes later.

[Corpus_Macabre]

Everyone is shy one way or another, some are just louder about it...

[Opteron_Man]

I am shy. I have a lot of trouble meeting people. It is a very painfull thing to deal with.

[Dr Nancy]

Well, yes, I have social anxiety disorder.

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

Not at all. I'm horribly anti-social, but it's not about being shy, it's about having a short fuse and a large definition of the term obnoxious dimwit.

[jack_the_knife]

I used to be incredibly shy and not talk to anyone. But something went click in my brain when I got into my first fight in school ( sounds cheesy, I know but some things just are ).
And now I have trouble shutting the hell up. I also tend to have a very short temper (sometimes resulting in nasty fits of rage when I just can't get something right.) I'm often very loud and antisocial. But then, on other days I'm the complete opposite.

[Renatus]

Nope not shy at all, as long as you can't see my face(which only happens over xbox live), if you can see my face I am extremely shy then. I have horrible self esteem problems about my face, and it's expressions and whatnot. It's also why gnet still hasn't seen a single picture of me, though that may change soon, if I can find a good picture.

But overall through my entire life I've always been extremely shy, I've only managed to whittle the shyness down to my face recently.

[Catch]

I am shy when first meeting someone or running into people accidently. Sometimes a person talking to me spontaneously is like the world shattering other times it is no problem. Often things that seem unusual send me into anxiety or panic attacks.

Often I cope by taking a deep breath or looking around to reestablish myself in the place.

[Frederik]

Yes I am shy, socially awkward & have a terrible time trying to make friends. Unless people approach me there's rarely any interaction. I am one of those people that the outside world perceives as an outgoing extrovert but I'm actually the exact opposite.

[Steppenwolf]

Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack

Not at all. I'm horribly anti-social, but it's not about being shy, it's about having a short fuse and a large definition of the term obnoxious dimwit.

:-)

Same here ... (on my best days)