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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
11-06-2010, 09:27 PM
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#26
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kore
Stupidest....
"Will that hurt when you stick it in me?"
Answer; "Yup", after I stuck him.
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Stuck him with what? A needle?
Anyway.
"Welcome to Mcdonald's How may I help you?"
"Are you guys still open?"
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-06-2010, 10:17 PM
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#27
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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I have done that. I only asked because sometimes people sneak into the drive thru right before they're able to shut the lights off and deem the place closed, and I didn't want to be that asshole who made them hold up closing just because I wanted some fries.
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11-06-2010, 10:36 PM
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#28
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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I understand. I thought it was stupid because I wouldn't have asked if the store wasn't open.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-07-2010, 12:18 AM
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#29
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
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One time a bitch asked me if I could speak english, when I was a waitress at olive garden. I wanted to punch her in the face.
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11-07-2010, 04:01 AM
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#30
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,419
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"67%"
"Out of what?"
"Is that the nazi flag?"
"No, it's the flag of Germany"
"...but those are the same thing right?"
University student, studying English:
"that's like... so... unuseful"
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11-07-2010, 08:49 PM
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#31
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
Stuck him with what? A needle?
Anyway.
"Welcome to Mcdonald's How may I help you?"
"Are you guys still open?"
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A needle, a big needle.
Nothing like piercing someone that doesn't want to be pierced, but they need to be pierced or they will never have to worry about being pierced, so I stick'em.
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11-07-2010, 09:52 PM
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#32
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 237
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"ALRIGHT, class! Who can tell me what this line is?"
"Is it... vertical?" It was diagonal.
After I loaned her some books: "What's.... Arith-matic?"
"What?"
"Arith-matic. What is that?"
"Arithmetic? It's.... math."
She's 28.
And of course, on my part, while trick-or-treating: "LOOK, IT'S DAVE VANIAN!!!"
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11-07-2010, 10:48 PM
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#33
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Harlem
Posts: 6,909
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"I don't understand why our country is in so much debt. If we are, then the government should just print some more money and we'll be fine!"
Word for word, I swear to shit.
__________________
No Gods. No Kings.
Not all beliefs and ideas are equal.
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11-08-2010, 01:57 AM
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#34
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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"it's okay my brother died, I was told that the youngest in the family always dies."
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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11-11-2010, 10:42 PM
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#35
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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Older woman my grandmother works with: "...So me and my mom were just driving down the highway and I kept seeing these signs EVERYWHERE! 'color-a-doo', 'color-a-doo'....What the hell does that mean?!"
My grandmother: "....You dolt. The signs said COLORADO."
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11-16-2010, 01:44 AM
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#36
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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During a debate on where to get lunch.
Friend #1 : Let's get some KFC from chapel walk.
Friend #2 : No, I don't like tofu shit.
__________________
Avoid all needle drugs - The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
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11-16-2010, 10:33 AM
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#37
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
"I don't understand why our country is in so much debt. If we are, then the government should just print some more money and we'll be fine!"
Word for word, I swear to shit.
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And the stupid part is...they did.
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11-17-2010, 06:43 PM
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#38
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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I remember earing about this second-hand, but I think it qualifies as fucked up stupidity.
One of my lesbian friends told someone about a genetic or hormonal defect or something that made it so she didn't menstruate.
The guy then replied: "Is that why you are that lesbian thing?"
He was answered with a slap in the face.
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11-17-2010, 07:07 PM
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#39
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice
Older woman my grandmother works with: "...So me and my mom were just driving down the highway and I kept seeing these signs EVERYWHERE! 'color-a-doo', 'color-a-doo'....What the hell does that mean?!"
My grandmother: "....You dolt. The signs said COLORADO."
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Haha she sounds like she's from the midwest.
So I go this school. Pretty unique fillm/art school but we're run by this greedy washed up tinsel towner whose trying to revive his film career using us and the films we make for his benefit. He's an ex-filmmaker whose all about the money on the complete and utter opposite of where I stand as an artist. I found out after making my first project my freshman year that each film made by us students at Gstar (the school) is entitled to him and the schools name which limits us to distribute it ourselves or even film festivals. They have to see EVERYTHING.
Not to mention they EDIT our final cuts and get titled 'executive producers' without question So knowing this the school narc/poster child/teachers pet gave a whole nationalistic speech on how our administration isn't corrupt and thus SHOULD RUN THE GOVERNMENT WITH THAT GREEDY MULLET MAN HEADMASTER BEHIND THE OVAL OFFICE.
The funniest part of all this was coming the mouth of a 5'3 high voiced chubster who wears a cowboy outfit to school each day. And I thought us goths were freaky.
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11-17-2010, 09:18 PM
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#40
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
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So one night i wanted to discuss things we as Americans do that don't make since. Like for example why we celebrate so many holidays the way we do. Regardless of true meaning or religious origin. Any way, my friend replied. " I know, like why do we even celebrate the 4th of July. That's when the Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor. It should be a memorial, instead of a holiday." Exact fucking words.
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11-17-2010, 09:41 PM
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#41
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinjob
Haha she sounds like she's from the midwest.
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She's from the easternest you can get in southern california.
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02-13-2011, 05:13 PM
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#42
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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Update:
"Hi, I'm coming to the area in July and I was wondering when the 4th of July fireworks would be happening."
"...Do you mean, what day is the 4th of July?"
"No, I know the 4th falls on a Tuesday."
"Uh, okay. The 4th of July fireworks happen on the 4th of July."
"Oh, not on the weekend?"
"No sorry, they do the fireworks on the 4th."
"But I wanted to come on the weekend."
"You can still come on the weekend if you want, can I book you something for Saturday?"
"No, I want to see the 4th of July fireworks."
"Okay, well the 4th of July fireworks happen on the 4th of July, I'm sorry."
"Well I guess you just lost business then, didn't you?!" *click*
(Mind you, our establishment does not set off the fireworks, as they are illegal. She's asking about random peoples' fireworks.)
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02-13-2011, 10:24 PM
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#43
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 88
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"Justin Bieber is so the Kurt Cobain of this generation."
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02-14-2011, 02:40 AM
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#44
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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"Catch is the second funniest person on here."
~ snarf 
__________________
I Like Cheese!
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02-14-2011, 06:50 AM
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#45
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: under the kitchen sink
Posts: 386
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"Isn't the capital of Israel Palestine?"
From a college student, I shit you not.
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02-14-2011, 01:49 PM
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#46
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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'Spiders can't hurt you, they're amphibians'. Courtesy of my younger sister.
__________________
I am your slice of pie
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02-15-2011, 06:35 AM
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#47
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 1,921
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Two guys chatting about hentai in the canteen last friday.
Dude: ...and that chick grows a dick and stick it into the other girl!!
Dude#2: Whoaa.. Can we do that too? I want a dick out of my mouth.
Dude: That's goin' to be so cool man, like giving yourself a blowjob all the time.
Their faces keep haunting me everytime I eat a banana.
__________________
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
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02-17-2011, 09:47 PM
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#48
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3
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"Obamas gonna bring change"
-some deluded idiot. Hundreds of millions technically... but whose counting.
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02-18-2011, 09:56 AM
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#49
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: R@p3 Dungeon
Posts: 70
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"does monday come at the beginning or the end of the week?"
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02-19-2011, 09:59 AM
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#50
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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The claim that there is such a thing as gothic weather. Sorry, but that is just fucked up.
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