I'm too ugly to dress goth

[black_heart]

I like lots of styles of clothes, especially the wiccan/peasent/folk look, I recently bought a chainmail hoodie top with a cross on it and I'm beginning to like more gothic wear. Usually I just wear a black hoody,a baggy black band tee and baggy trousers. I'm so self conscious about my body and face that I find it hard to express myself cos I don't want to be noticed. I envy all the people who are unique and can express themselves as an individual without an hassle, and pull it off. I think I have a goth personality (I am constantly depressed, thinking about life all the time, morbid etc... not obsessed with pictures of goth girls in blood baths or razors in mouths however). I currently have dark purple hair (Schwarszkopf (or however u spell it) Live Cyber purple) but it's done nothing to me, it hasn't made me feel any better or feel like I'm being true to my personality. I'm afraid to start wearing platform boots like new rocks cos my ex best friend used to wear them (she wore a mixture of emo and goth clothing and said she was both) and she and others might think I'm copying them.
I love long hair, my hair is just touching my ass (but i am pretty small) so I dont wanna cut it, plus it hides my ugly face at times and makes me feel a lil better about myself. Cos I can't cut it I can't have any style, I'd like dreads one day but I'm not fussed on shaving my head when I'm bored of them.
I wish I had a pretty face that suited any hairstyle. Maybe having god fasion sense is based on self confidence... I'm an introvert so maybe I should just leave it.
PS - if any of you have seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I really envy Kate Winslet's character cos she has bright coloured hair that's always changing and she's beautiful so she looks good no matter what colour.

ok rant over ^_^

[Utael]

This should go in the Whining Board but yeah...

[spoon!]

I don't think you necessarily need to worry. One of the great elements, I think, about Goth fashion is that there is no distinctively recognizeable dress code. It's all about how you feel and what you feel would be true to your personality.

[Tam Li Hua]

If you like something, go for it!

It took me a long time to be comfortable enough with my body and myself to wear the style I enjoy. [I'm a bit of an introvert myself.] Until then, I wore a lot of baggy clothing myself!

One thing you could do is go shopping either with a good friend or alone. You don't have to buy anything, but just try on different things and see how you like them. [For the hair color thing, you could perhaps try on different wigs? Or maybe temporary dye like what they have for Halloween? That way, if you don't like it, it'll come out really easily, and if you -do- like it, you can make it more permanent after that.]

Just some advice from someone who completely understands!

[gothicusmaximus]

I don't think anyone's too ugly to dress goth.
You may have failed to notice, but there are some really ugly people who dress goth.

[bleedingheart344]

Just to clarify, depression is not part of a goth personality. You should get some help, it's a horrid thing to go through. As for the clothes, I don't think baggy pants look good on most people. Try some drainpipes maybe, or regular trousers.

[Anguelon]

Not to worry, you're just going through many changes. It'll be a while till you adjust to your look depending on your personality. I , for one, wear black and have my goth look all the time, I just don't wear my dark purple lipstick and heavy eye makeup to work or to uni. Try setting different styles for different occasions and I'm sure you'll find your way from here.

[kimaru]

I know what you mean, I dress the way I want to but then I throw a baggy hoodie on because I'm so self concious. It sounds like you are using your hair as a security blanket, I suggest that you get it cut. A hairstylist will be able to help you find a hairstyle and color you like. I'm not saying you should chop ALL your hair off, just as much as you feel comfortable with.

If your worried about copying your friend, don't get the same pair of boots she has. Most likely she will like them, not get mad for you getting new rocks.

[badteccy]

I'm so depressed, I am a gothic rite?
Jesus....

[maggot]

I think you don't feel true to yourself because from what I've gathered, you want to 'look gothic,' rather look like yourself inside.


I remember I used to want to like a subcultural archetype, and I always just felt depressed about myself. Over time, I came to the realization of what was me and who I was. I am now happy with how I look and dress, and for the things I am not happy with, I am in the process of fixing that.

My quality of life is up one-hundredfold.


By the way, there's no such thing as a 'gothic personality,' so cut it out. There is no pride in being constantly depressed. It is a flaw.

[DeathToLems]

I agree with most replys to your topic.
You should just go with what ever you feel comfortable in though.
It took me a while to find a style I liked. Every week or so I add a little bit more to my collection of outfits, Even if its a new T-shirt, or some new trousers. Or even a necklace.
And about you worrying what your friend might say if you got a pair of New Rocks. So what!? If you want a pair you get a pair. She may say "why have you got them? why are you copying me? Oh so now you think you're cool because you have Newrocks?!" Just turn around and say "Yea, so what? I like them so i bought them". She will get over it. Or she will be well chuffed that her mate has a nice pair of boots on her feet.
Dont hide your face, Hold your head up and stand up stright.
I wouldent cut my hair if I was you (I also have quite long hair) and keep trying new colors (I also tried that Purple hair dye you use, man was it a messy aplication!) till you find a color that suites you.

Don't be so depressed all the time too. Don't take things so seriously.
(dont wanna sound corny but a quote from a film)

"Life is just a dream on it's way to death"

[electrosexual]

OH GOD.

This just crys "give-me-attention".

I know I sound like a cxunt, but seriously, anyone who broadcasts their "depression and angst" over the internet deserves no sympathy. It's utterly tasteless.

I'm a nice person BTW.

[Green.Lady]

There is NO such thing as a goth personality. I am incredibly perky by nature, as you may have noticed, as are many other people interested in the subculture. There are the melancholy sort, yes, but they are not necessarily more "goth" than someone who bounces around talking about how much they love bubbles, IMO. Being morbid, depressed, and thinking about life aren't "goth" traits... Depression is an illness and morbidity/death/life obsessions are certainly not "for goths only." I know an A&F addict that's thrilled by scanning the internet for grotesque crime scene photos.

I'm sure you're not as "ugly" as you think you are, hon. And you don't have to be perfect to wear any sort of clothes you want. Just look at this guy: http://www.spikedhumor.com/Article.aspx?id=43231 That should make you feel better. And screw your ex-best friend. As long as your boots aren't the exact same as hers, I'm sure no one will give a damn or even give 'em a second thought.

[Graveyard.Crow]

Actually, you feeling bad about yourself and you not being happy with how you dress maybe sort of linked. I remember when I used to have very low self esteem, the fact that my style didn't feel like it fit me didn't help self confidence at all. Try it, don't worry what anyone says. If you are not copying that girl, it doesn't matter what anyone says. If you are, well we ALL are influenced by someone at some point. If you are worried change gradually.

[Wormboy]

Originally Posted by electrosexual

OH GOD.

This just crys "give-me-attention".

I know I sound like a cxunt, but seriously, anyone who broadcasts their "depression and angst" over the internet deserves no sympathy. It's utterly tasteless.

I'm a nice person BTW.

you're also really cute

[killer_asian_Dax]

Like yourself first, then you'll truly look good no matter what you wear.

Don't "look up to/idolize" ANY celebrity and use them as an example of what you want to look like. It's their goddamned job to look good all the damn time. Be glad it's not your job. Trust me, they only look good into old age because they can afford it. Behind the stylists and makeup artists, they are just as normal, haggard looking and tired as the next person.

Love yourself. Then you'll love how you look no matter what your style.

Depression and blood is NO MARKER of being gothic. So many "goths" have a very ungothy personality. It's the music, art, lierature, and more that we appreciate that makes us "goth" more than anything else.

[Godslayer Jillian]

First of all (because of the site and all) you have a misconception of what goth is.
Second of all, you have very low self-esteem. Deciding a style shouldn't be your top priority; it should be self-approval and self-improvement.

[Lolly PopMuzik]

Also, if you post more in depth regarding your intro thread, it'll really help the lot of us figure out what you are and what you like.

But to be on the safe side, read this: http://razorwire.com/real-goth-faq/ and run (don't even think about walking) to the music forum.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Q: Someone told me that it doesn't matter how you dress, as long as you're goth on the inside.
I'll bet that person looked like a potato. Did they have a big pasty potato face, with a huge potato ass and stumpy potato legs? You were probably talking to a net.goth, and they say stuff like that to make themselves feel better for being fatasses.

I love that answer.

[Lolly PopMuzik]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Q: Someone told me that it doesn't matter how you dress, as long as you're goth on the inside.
I'll bet that person looked like a potato. Did they have a big pasty potato face, with a huge potato ass and stumpy potato legs? You were probably talking to a net.goth, and they say stuff like that to make themselves feel better for being fatasses.

I love that answer.

*files this for future "goth is a state of mind/way of thinking/on the inside" argument usage on MySpace and other related areas*

[drewsilla]

Wear what you want, and fuck anyone who says anything about it. Get you some New Rocs if you want. I wish I had the money to get some, they are pretty awesome! Your little ex-friend and her cronies have something to say about it, just tell them not to flatter themselves, you do as you wish.

Purple hair sounds beautiful, especially if it's down to your waist! Hair can always be your best fashion accessory. Play with it, add to it, color and get funky if you wish!! Remember, though, it is just an extention of yourself, hair won't change your life.

You sound like you need some people to talk to. You need to find someone like that in your off-line world and talk with them about how you feel. Depression is not a good thing to have to carry around with you. I'd hate to be depressed all the time! It's not something you must be to be gothic.

Oh, and that ex-friend of yours that says she's goth and emo? I'd laugh my ass of at that. I bet she and her friends walk around in ASDA trying to be all scary looking and being sad about it while screaming "Look at us!!! We are different!! Boo!!" How pathetic.

[Edward Strange]

You know, I'm really not sure what I make of that article... So much hate! And also having read it, it makes me want to throw in the black towel and say "Alright you win, I'm not a Goth." Before storming off in a strop and throwing out my CDs.

Anyway. Eternal Sunshine is arguably one of the best films of the decade. I remember a time when I was talking to a friend who said I reminded her of Joel alot, which was sort of swish. But I can sort of emphasis when it comes to envying Clementine. I wanted to be like her because she was so carefree and crazy and just seemed to be the sort of person I wanted to be...
Not wishing to sound weird or anything but you remind me of a younger version of me. Well, maybe not younger, perhaps even a few years older (Futurama reference!), I've felt alot of what you are feeling at the moment... I hope that doesn't make me sound big headed at all.

But yes, advice. If what you are doing with your clothes and hair at the moment doesn't seem right then don't do it! It's the reason I stopped wearing bondage trousers!
Experiment, see what you like to wear, have your hair like etc and then bloody well do it!
It says you are from Wales, maybe I could show you around all the grooveh alternative spots in Cardiff? You sound like a very swish character.

Right. Time to go to lectures.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Lolly PopMuzik

But to be on the safe side, read this: http://razorwire.com/real-goth-faq/ and run (don't even think about walking) to the music forum.

Yeah, I can be an elitist dick and have even been known to mock those members of the heavy set who listen to Bauhaus and then feel suddenly impelled to wear PVC, but that thing is a still a little too hateful and juvenile for me.

[DeathToLems]

Lawl! I loved that FAQ site. Actuly I found that site before I found Gothic.Net O_o

Anyways back on topic...where did she go?

[Miss Happy Cat]

Post and run, perhaps? Who knows where she may have gone. I get the feeling she’s on of those, “I’m so ugly, I wish I had a pretty face.” types who only thinks they’re ugly, when in fact, she probably looks just fine.

Hey you, the OP, stop comparing yourself to what’s considered beautiful to everyone else and love yourself as you are.

Just like a few others have mentioned, it doesn’t matter how you dress. Hell, I still break out the flannel shirts and ripped jeans on occasion. Ok, so I seem to still be a little stuck in 1992, but hey, I’m comfortable.