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Old 07-17-2008, 04:15 PM   #6001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bat Brains
Police are useless bastards
Not all of them, and not in this case, considering the fact that you WERE BREAKING THE LAW.
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Old 07-17-2008, 05:42 PM   #6002
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Not all of them, and not in this case, considering the fact that you WERE BREAKING THE LAW.

And not all laws are reasonable or logical. Except for this case.
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Old 07-17-2008, 07:54 PM   #6003
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No, police are a necessary entity becaus eof stupid fucks who haven't the brains to make a go of it using their own devices. Asshats liek you are the reason we need a fucking government.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:00 PM   #6004
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Is it bad that my first thought wasn't "Ohmygawd OPPRESSION!", but was instead "You're a fucking dumbass."?

Maybe I'm just getting old...and I tend to like the police because they actually come out and take the little fourteen-year-old brats home when they're in the playground at 12am. (Fucking skateboards on fucking sidewalks right outside my goddamn window at 12am you little brat, you're damn lucky I didn't break it upside your skinny hipster head!)

Well...that kind of turned into a rant. Seriously, I hate those brats. How are they out of the house so late? After the MPs bring your kid home three times in a week, maybe you should start keeping a better eye on him.

Before I kill him.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:23 PM   #6005
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The police officers around here are all quite nice (except for the one angry police woman who is a total bitch but that is only one person out of a large group). They tend to give more warnings right where I live than anything but they are Newport News PD so they have dealt with a lot of stuff and they will not take shit from the little brats who think they are badass. They sure do make things around here a lot more pleasant

Even the CNU PD are very nice and friendly, they really do go out of their way to help keep someone from getting in trouble, but again they aren't going to take shit. If you are smashed and someone calls it in they will escort you to your dorm room but they wont write up a report (it is a wet campus and if you are found to be drunk then you can get in some serious shit), however, if you hit them with your purse and tell them that they are stupid pigs there will be a report and you will spend the night in a drunk tank.
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Old 07-17-2008, 10:27 PM   #6006
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I don't think 8 cops and 3 vans are necesary for victimless crimes. Trying to charge people for burglary and theft when nothing is stolen is fucking stupid.
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Old 07-17-2008, 10:38 PM   #6007
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Because they knew what you were doing before they got there. Not to mention that you ran, if you didn't do anything then why the fuck would you run, that just gives them another thing to charge you with, not to mention it gives them reason to think that you did something a bit more serious.
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Old 07-17-2008, 10:43 PM   #6008
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I'm not saying I ran because I didn't do anything. I'm saying they don't need to waste 8 or more cops and 2 or 3 vans on shit like that.
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Old 07-17-2008, 10:46 PM   #6009
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When you run, they call more people and bring more vehicles. Also you were a group of fairly young people in an empty school, I'm sure that they were thinking drugs and/or destruction of property when they showed up so it was a good idea for them to bring more people. That and if a call is made then chances are that all of the cops in the vicinity are going to show up, that is just how things work.
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:27 AM   #6010
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I re-joined the job agency yesterday but I can almost garauntee I won't get anything because it's factory shutdown next week I need money for Whitby NOW. There's nothing, just nothing.
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Old 07-18-2008, 11:14 AM   #6011
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UGH!!!!

In the videostore, dad saw I had black nailpolish on. He grabbed my hand and said sternly "What is this?" in front of everyone. I told him it's black nailpolish. He's like "Oh, God, I don't wanna even be seen with you!". My dad's a nice guy. Except for, he hates Goth's. He doesn't even want me associating with them (you guys). Jesus, he said "Don't act that way, you're heading for a thumpin'!" I can't believe he said that, he has never hit me..
I went to my room, upset as I was and tried to fight back tears while I dialed my girlfriends number, so she could cheer me up. He fucking threatened me twice while I was on the phone to her. Jesus. My dad is cool. He's really great. I just wish he'd fucking accept I'm not going to change, no matter how hard he tries. All this, over black nailpolish eh?
I don't see why I'm not allowed to wear it, mum lets me, mum lets me wear what I want. Dad's never home anyway. UGH THIS IS SO FUKCING ANNOYING!

God I love the Rant Thread!
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Old 07-18-2008, 11:49 AM   #6012
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NightmareInShiningArmour:

I think part of the reason your dad is upset is because he's scared for you. I mean, there are a LOT of misconceptions about the Goth world among the Norms, especially with the Columbine idiots from a few years back.

Have you ever sat him down and talked to him about it reasonably? That would probably be the best course of action. If you act like an adult, and come to him calmly...and dressed somewhat more normally [you can still wear black and all, but it's probably best not to wear the make-up, every single piercing, and the nail polish while talking to him] and have a talk with him about it, he'd probably be more receptive. Ask him why he doesn't like the Goth culture, and correct any misconceptions he may have. Tell him that you aren't going to give your soul to Satan, and that it's just a fashion and a music trend; let him know that you are still the same person, even if you dress 'weird'. Perhaps even share some of your music with him [though I would suggest stuff that's not screaming, and has a more mellow, if albeit dark, tone, like The Sisters of Mercy or something.]

As long as you come at him with a fight, he's going to think you're just being a typical, rebellious teenager. But if you come to him with honesty, love, and patience, you will gain his respect and understanding, if he is a reasonable person at all.

Feel free to also suggest to him the book What is Goth?. You can find it for pretty cheap on Amazon. It's a small, thin book by Voltaire that explains the Goth lifestyle in a very simple and humorous, non-threatening way. [Heck, if you want, I'll buy him a copy and send it your way!]

Hope some of this helps! ^_^
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Old 07-18-2008, 02:14 PM   #6013
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I re-joined the job agency yesterday but I can almost garauntee I won't get anything because it's factory shutdown next week I need money for Whitby NOW. There's nothing, just nothing.
Know the feeling, I've lain awake trying to figure out how to make a budget that will allow me to pay rent more times than you can count........ that sucks.

What's the first thing people tend to do when they're looking for work? - load up with resumes and get out and ask around. I found I had more luck jobsearching when I avoided the city centre, it's where everyone goes first looking for a gig, so maybe you could try some more out of the way places away from busy parts of town. Take resumes and make with the eyes and the tits. Or just be all professional & employable & shit. You know, whatever.

Good luck searching. Luck comes in cycles - it's gotta come good sooner or later.
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Old 07-19-2008, 02:01 AM   #6014
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Nightmare, my step dad stopped talking to me for quite a while when I first wore make up, and my mum thought I was a crossdresser and none of my family liked what I was doing.
You've just got to keep doing what you want to do and eventually they can deal with it.
And remember to tell them It. Is. A. Music. Subculture... With an interest in fashion... Not a religion. Not a bunch of people who want to kill themselves. Not a bunch of weirdo's.
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Old 07-19-2008, 02:40 AM   #6015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua
NightmareInShiningArmour:

I think part of the reason your dad is upset is because he's scared for you. I mean, there are a LOT of misconceptions about the Goth world among the Norms, especially with the Columbine idiots from a few years back.

Have you ever sat him down and talked to him about it reasonably? That would probably be the best course of action. If you act like an adult, and come to him calmly...and dressed somewhat more normally [you can still wear black and all, but it's probably best not to wear the make-up, every single piercing, and the nail polish while talking to him] and have a talk with him about it, he'd probably be more receptive. Ask him why he doesn't like the Goth culture, and correct any misconceptions he may have. Tell him that you aren't going to give your soul to Satan, and that it's just a fashion and a music trend; let him know that you are still the same person, even if you dress 'weird'. Perhaps even share some of your music with him [though I would suggest stuff that's not screaming, and has a more mellow, if albeit dark, tone, like The Sisters of Mercy or something.]

As long as you come at him with a fight, he's going to think you're just being a typical, rebellious teenager. But if you come to him with honesty, love, and patience, you will gain his respect and understanding, if he is a reasonable person at all.

Feel free to also suggest to him the book What is Goth?. You can find it for pretty cheap on Amazon. It's a small, thin book by Voltaire that explains the Goth lifestyle in a very simple and humorous, non-threatening way. [Heck, if you want, I'll buy him a copy and send it your way!]

Hope some of this helps! ^_^
See, the amount of times I've told him that I'm not a Satanist, I don't even believe in Satan, I've shared some of my music with him, we have similar taste. He got me in Black Sabbath and I've recommended some of my bands to him, he likes them too. And I don't wear makeup, have any piercings (aside from one in my left ear that I got when I was 7) and still he has his irrational thoughts. I show him as much intelligence and maturity I can, I always keep calm when he talks about it, except for last night. I started to cry. I knew he hated it but it doesn't mean he shouldn't wanna even look like my dad! I want that What is Goth? book, I'd love for you to send it, except, I think it'd be a little weird, some random person I met on the internet sending me a book called What is Goth? haha. He probably WOULD get pissed off.
And it's just a suspicion but I reckon the reason he's worried because last year he found out I had slit my wrists. I'd been going through a hard time. It probably wasn't the way to handle it, but I was a complete freak.. Ugh I hated myself. I haven't done it for a while now. I have an obsession with blood, sharp objects (such as razors, I even have a strait razor necklace), Satanic Black Metal bands, murderous music and I am obsessed with horror movies filled with gore (the Saw's, Black Dahlia Murder, The truth about Demons..) He hates it. I like it. Pity he doesn't just accept our differences. I don't want to, but chances are I'll grow out of it. He was part of the Reaperz Bikie Gang, he admits it was stupid, can't he let me just at least DRESS and listen to what I want??
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Old 07-19-2008, 06:10 AM   #6016
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I hate it when the word "Obsession" is misused and overused.
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Old 07-19-2008, 09:08 AM   #6017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour
See, the amount of times I've told him that I'm not a Satanist, I don't even believe in Satan, I've shared some of my music with him, we have similar taste. He got me in Black Sabbath and I've recommended some of my bands to him, he likes them too. And I don't wear makeup, have any piercings (aside from one in my left ear that I got when I was 7) and still he has his irrational thoughts. I show him as much intelligence and maturity I can, I always keep calm when he talks about it, except for last night. I started to cry. I knew he hated it but it doesn't mean he shouldn't wanna even look like my dad! I want that What is Goth? book, I'd love for you to send it, except, I think it'd be a little weird, some random person I met on the internet sending me a book called What is Goth? haha. He probably WOULD get pissed off.
And it's just a suspicion but I reckon the reason he's worried because last year he found out I had slit my wrists. I'd been going through a hard time. It probably wasn't the way to handle it, but I was a complete freak.. Ugh I hated myself. I haven't done it for a while now. I have an obsession with blood, sharp objects (such as razors, I even have a strait razor necklace), Satanic Black Metal bands, murderous music and I am obsessed with horror movies filled with gore (the Saw's, Black Dahlia Murder, The truth about Demons..) He hates it. I like it. Pity he doesn't just accept our differences. I don't want to, but chances are I'll grow out of it. He was part of the Reaperz Bikie Gang, he admits it was stupid, can't he let me just at least DRESS and listen to what I want??
If you were a cutter before and are still interested in sharp objects, then I would say it isn't merely a lack of connectivity that's separating the two of you; he's probably worried about you. I know I would be if you were my kid.

Have you ever considered going to a counselor or a therapy group? I think there may be deeper things you need to resolve that go beyond just being interested in slasher movies and painting your nails black..
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Old 07-19-2008, 09:16 AM   #6018
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I don't wanna go to a counselor or therapy group. I don't have any problems. *cough*
Like as in my dad and I go? I don't think so.
And what would I need to resolve? Like... have you got any classic examples? I'm not quite sure what these issues might be.
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Old 07-19-2008, 12:51 PM   #6019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour
I don't wanna go to a counselor or therapy group. I don't have any problems. *cough*
Like as in my dad and I go? I don't think so.
And what would I need to resolve? Like... have you got any classic examples? I'm not quite sure what these issues might be.
Ugh.

How the fuck could a teenager on the internet tell you what kind of mental problems you have?
You may as well take one of those online tests where the deciding factor is your favorite colour.
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Old 07-19-2008, 12:55 PM   #6020
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Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
Ugh.

How the fuck could a teenager on the internet tell you what kind of mental problems you have?
You may as well take one of those online tests where the deciding factor is your favorite colour.
Hey, those tests are great! That's how I found out I actually have severe bipolar!
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Old 07-19-2008, 01:51 PM   #6021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour
And it's just a suspicion but I reckon the reason he's worried because last year he found out I had slit my wrists.
O RLY?!

... Yeah, he sounds real unreasonable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour
I'd been going through a hard time. It probably wasn't the way to handle it, but I was a complete freak.. Ugh I hated myself. I haven't done it for a while now. I have an obsession with blood, sharp objects (such as razors, I even have a strait razor necklace), Satanic Black Metal bands, murderous music and I am obsessed with horror movies filled with gore (the Saw's, Black Dahlia Murder, The truth about Demons..) He hates it. I like it. Pity he doesn't just accept our differences. I don't want to, but chances are I'll grow out of it. He was part of the Reaperz Bikie Gang, he admits it was stupid, can't he let me just at least DRESS and listen to what I want??
Did you ever think that maybe the reason he hates your gory films and black metal is because it's a visible reminder of your self-proclaimed obsession with sharp objects, blood and cutting yourself? If he wasn't already on the alert for signs of deviance, you could probably dress however you like and watch whatever you want. But now you've worried him, he's going to judge you by different standards to kids who DON'T self-harm. You can't blame him for wondering if the extra morbidity is good for you.

I'm sorry but I get so annoyed by people who indulge in little self-destructive behaviours, then get pissy if anyone becomes concerned about them. Sometimes you just have to swallow your self-righteousness, accept that you messed up, and do what you have to do for a while.
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Old 07-19-2008, 07:32 PM   #6022
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour
I don't wanna go to a counselor or therapy group. I don't have any problems. *cough*
Like as in my dad and I go? I don't think so.
And what would I need to resolve? Like... have you got any classic examples? I'm not quite sure what these issues might be.
I know nothing about your medical and/or family history and truthfully know very little about you so I can't really say one way or another that you have anything at all. I will, however, say that in my opinion it may be helpful for you to see a therapist, even if it is just to give your father piece of mind (for you I would recomend a humanistic and/or cognitive therapist and you should definitely avoid a behaviorist). You haven't displayed any characteristics that would warrant medication or even anything that would be treated with intense therapy, the only thing that I think would happen is that you would get to know yourself better and your father would see that you really are in a better place than you were. Therapists aren't bad people and shouldn't do anything that you are not fully prepared to do (unless they think that you are going to cause harm to someone but being a cutter a year ago would not be an issue). Also if you go to someone and they don't make you feel comfortable in a couple of sessions then try someone else because you wont be able to get much out of your sessions if you don't feel comfortable opening up.
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Old 07-19-2008, 07:53 PM   #6023
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I meant a classic example. I mean, this all started when a close friend of my got hit by a train and passed away last year. I got fairly depressed and started to become a bit of a freak, which got me even more depressed, because I hated myself. And my brother was beating me up daily. My friends were betraying me. wow, come to think about it, my 12 year old self really WAS fucked up.

Should I just talk to him? like.. bring it up one day during a long car ride, have a decent conversation about these topics and explain it all to him?
And when everyone continuously suggests a therapist or counselor, do you just mean go by myself or my dad? Just have to clear that up. And I'm kind of nervous about going to one. I just don't completely see why I should go. Sure I like sharp things, lots of people do. I USED to cut myself. Used to. It was fucking stupid and I regret it.
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Old 07-19-2008, 08:04 PM   #6024
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YES, talk to your dad. That's sound advice that has already been given to you. Follow it.

YES, if you and your dad can't talk it by yourself, suggest family counseling. It might be easier to get to the root of the problem with someone there mediating and guiding the discussion. It's better than bitching at each other and having him scream at you in public over stupid shit like the color of your nail polish. =/
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Old 07-19-2008, 08:53 PM   #6025
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It may be better for you to go by yourself than with your dad. He will feel more secure about your mental stability if you see someone, even if nothing else changes, and you will be better able to open up if it is just a one on one session.

Now that I know a bit more about you I can say fairly confidently that you could benefit from seeing a psychologist with a humanistic perspective. You seem to be in a much better place than you were but I imagine that those issues that you dealt with are still there, just not in the forefront of your mind. Loss is something that everyone experiences differently but in most cases it lingers, even if not in an obvious way, and I think it may have a negative impact on your self image, as you don't seem to really love yourself and this loss seems to be what triggered the beginning of your dislike for yourself.

I don't think that you need therapy, I think that you can function just fine without it, I just think that it would be helpful. I can understand being nervous. A lot of people worry about being forced to take meds that make them into a someone else, or they fear that their therapist will try and change them. A good therapist wont do that, a good therapist will help you get to know yourself better and will help you to like who you are. If they think that you have a chemical imbalance that is causing problems then they will talk to you about the possibility of going on meds but will not put you on them if you do not want to take them (if you know right now that you don't want to be put on drugs then see a psychologist or a clinical social worker as they cannot prescribe medications). If there is something worrying you that I haven't mentioned then please let me know what it is and I will address it.

I have seen a total of six therapist over the course of my life, some amazing, some not so amazing, maybe there is something that you can gain from my experiences.
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