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General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
06-15-2006, 04:55 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: south, south of London
Posts: 845
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Eavesdroppers ne'er hear well...
I fancied a silly thread.
Overheard anything that made you chuckle?
I heard this at the railway station on a day when there was a bus replacement service. About 100 people were queued up waiting for the bus. Two guys were walking behind me.
A: Blimey, what they all doin'?
B: waiting for the bus, ain't they. 'S no train.
A: So where they all going from?
B: ...Here.
Or two girls in Debenhams...
C: Oooh, you'd look great in this. Hmmm. Cashmere...
D: I can't wear cashmere. I'm allergic.
C: Darling, nice girls aren't allergic to cashmere.
I don't know if there's already a thread like this, but I reckon we could all do with a bit of a giggle. Or something...
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Nay then, I have an eye of you. - If you love me, hold not off.
Hamlet
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06-15-2006, 09:27 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: a'Straiya
Posts: 1,292
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This wasn't something I overheard, as such, but a conversation in which I didn't quite hear what my friend said...
Natasha:Oh, I've got Brazilian Jujutsu tonight.
Me: What?! You're getting a brazillian by pixies?!
Natasha: You suck.
Heh heh heh
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Hist. Hark.
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06-15-2006, 11:42 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
Posts: 1,632
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Ah, if I take this in the hearing things incorrectly route then I've got one off the top of my head.
Sage: I mean come on, he's practically got niceness dripping out of his ears, how could you not like him?
Me: Stripping his steers!?!?!!!
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"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -Friedrich Nietzsche
pssst, Morrigan, tokidoki shashin wa ii...
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06-16-2006, 01:17 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: south, south of London
Posts: 845
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Misheard, overheard. It's all good.
Bring on the silliness!
__________________
Nay then, I have an eye of you. - If you love me, hold not off.
Hamlet
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06-16-2006, 06:15 AM
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#5
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 509
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I heard this while waiting on stairs to go out of a nightclub
A: Hey! You're spilling your beer on me!
B *very drunk* : Oh? really? You can tell?
A: Yeah, my shirt is wet now! I CAN tell that!
B: Man, you know, you should be kind of... psychologist or... stuff.
C: Ouch, I'm dizzy... Wait for me, I have to remember what is gravity...
D: 'Kay. M'waiting here.
C: What did I drink?
D: Dunno.
C: I feel like shit. I think, I'm gonna be sick.
D: Told'yah the sandwich was a bad idea. Salmon in a sandwich is unnatural. Evil stuff. Never eat them.
__________________
-God creates Dinosaur, God kills Dinosaur. God creates Man. Man kills God, Man creates Dinosaur.
-Dinosaurs eat Man. Women inherit the Earth.
"They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."
Terry Pratchett
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06-17-2006, 10:41 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: south, south of London
Posts: 845
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This is excellent stuff! Yay!
*giggling*
__________________
Nay then, I have an eye of you. - If you love me, hold not off.
Hamlet
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06-18-2006, 05:06 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wouldn't you like to know...
Posts: 1,632
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“Omg! You’re the one who keeps saying stuff like that! I’ll say, ‘Hey how are you doing?’ and you’ll be like, ‘WHAT? MY SISTER KILLED MY MOM?’ or I’ll say, ‘Hello, Laura’ and you’ll be like, ‘MY SISTER KILLED YOUR AUNT???’ or I’ll be like, ‘John’s hot’ and you’ll say, ‘MY SISTER KILLED YOUR CAT???’” -A chick on the bus talking loudly to another chick on the bus, whom I am assuming was named Laura.
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"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -Friedrich Nietzsche
pssst, Morrigan, tokidoki shashin wa ii...
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06-18-2006, 10:11 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sanctropolis, Bitchland USA
Posts: 2,459
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Okay.. beautiful thread Spooks...
So I'm at work and this bitch walks in with a fella, give the register guy a hard time then sits down to wait for her food... I walked the dining room to clean tables and noticed her yelling at this poor fella. Then I over heard this:
Female: How could you do that to someone??
And as I passed by the second time:
Male: So I'm thinking... I should really go in, they said it would take a few months to finish the treatment.
Female: I suppose I should stop sleeping around.
I almost choked. Bad karma bit her in the ass I guess?
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Your blatant disregard and lack of respect for the members here pisses me off. You think that just because Sanctus likes you for some reason(?) , that you can act like a bastard and get absolutely no comeuppance? Fuck you dickwad!
-Never mistake my tolerance for fucking approval.... never.
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06-18-2006, 11:21 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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So, I didn't mishear anything of this; it was just genuinely funny.
First, a little background: being a Christian school, mine promotes abstinence. After a monologue about abstinence at Chapel, they passed around some pamphlets speaking about abstinence with nothing but the capitalized word VIRGINITY in front.
It became kind of a small trend to paste these pamphlets to our lockers if people were still virgins.
So, anyway, I was walking down the hallway with some friends, and one of the girls noticed her VIRGINITY wasn't in her locker anymore. So, here's the conversation:
Girl- Mario! You took my VIRGINITY, didn't you?
Mario- *smirks*
Girl- Mario! Give me my VIRGINITY back!
Mario- I can't do that.
Girl- Mario! I want my VIRGINITY!
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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06-19-2006, 08:02 AM
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#10
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 509
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
Girl- Mario! I want my VIRGINITY!
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, poor girl !
I went to a nightclub saturday, and I was pretty drunk, but I still tried to have conversations with people wich gave a lots of things like this:
Guy: I'm from South Africa.
Me: Where in Africa?
Guy: You've never heard of that country before?
Me: You know, Africa is a very big continent, if you don't tell me the name, I won't guess.
It took five minutes to understand what each other was taking about...
__________________
-God creates Dinosaur, God kills Dinosaur. God creates Man. Man kills God, Man creates Dinosaur.
-Dinosaurs eat Man. Women inherit the Earth.
"They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."
Terry Pratchett
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06-24-2006, 03:04 AM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: south, south of London
Posts: 845
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"Well, I went on corrugated him for doing so well."
- two women discussing their children's exams.
I think...!
__________________
Nay then, I have an eye of you. - If you love me, hold not off.
Hamlet
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06-26-2006, 11:45 PM
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#12
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,126
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I heard this at the bus stop last week.
Boy A: "So, how was your exam?"
Girl A: "Fuckin killer, there was this examiner bitch that just wouldn't stop looking at me, and everytime I looked back at her she'd come over and hover behind me, annoying the crap out of me. Plus, there were some examiners that were talking up front".
Guy B:"I know! They were so fucking annoying! I mean, i felt like walking up to them, and telling them 'Oh, i think i read in the exam guide that during the exam there would be strictly NO TALKING!'"
Boy A:"Blah blah blah..........."(I can't remember what they went on about here, it was rather boring)
Girl B: "I got a present waiting for me back home on my bed"
Girl A: "Ok, who from?"
Guy B: "I hope it wasn't an animal present"
Girl A: "What, you mean like a puppy or a kitten?"
Guy A: "Who would want something like that, at our age? We don't want any extra responsibility!"
Guy B: "No, i mean like a cat shit, or something worse"
Guy A: " Oh"
Girl A&B: "EW! That would be disgusting"
Guy A: "Not nearly as disgusting as the job afterwards"
Guy B: "Yeah, because then you've got to go find the cat and tenderise it"
Guy A: "I meant having to clean up the mess"
************************************************** ******
The rest was too graphic and detailed to continue, i couldn't exactly remember it, except that they were going to tenderise the cat.
__________________
Everyone has a ghost...a phantom behind us which slows and drags us down.. This ghost or spectral has a name..."Regret".
"I've never regretted anything..." - Light Yagami
Life is a shit sandwich. Unfortunately, it's always lunchtime. How much bread you have goes a long way toward determining how easy it is to swallow.
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