Worst Trait: What's Yours? - Page 3

She_Is_My_Sin · 02-28-2006, 02:27 PM

Well in that case, I need to go for a pee.

angleangel_doom · 02-28-2006, 02:42 PM

Mine include the following:

1) Overthinking everything. Though I hate math and logic, I find myself pondering questions that nobody cares about or has asked.

2) Bringing a glass of water to bed with me, even though I never drink it.

3) Asking people to repeat themsleves. Not so much an annoying habit as not being abkle to hear so well out of my left ear.

Thats pretty much it.

Sanctus Dei · 02-28-2006, 11:39 PM

What the fuck is with all the whining? Seriously, Robster and Cruel Intentions... what in fucking callous hell would make you think a group of strangers you've barely aquainted yourself with want to hear (or even care) about your issues after you've spent your formative moments here either annoying or insulting the group??

Your pity card is denied, and unless you have another form of redeeming currency I'm going to have to ask you treat this site as a spectator sport and don a helmet before you speak. Thanx.

My bad trait: Lack of sympathy for stupidity.

Deviant Kitten · 03-01-2006, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

Yay! Bats! Can I keep 'em?

Thanks for the note. CI isn't stressing me out. I just haven't been feeling good the past few days. Yesterday was especially bad.

I am finally at the point in my life where I can generally just roll my eyes and ignore it when someone gives me oh-so-helpful advice like "Cheer up!" But on a day when I'm feeling really low, it makes me angry to hear stuff like that.

Yep, you can keep the bats - if I keep them here my cat just chases them round the house and knocks stuff over! ;-)

It's definitely harder to put up with other people's ignorance when you're having a bad day. At least we know that 99% of the folks on this board are intelligent, considerate people! =)

Deviant Kitten · 03-01-2006, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by She_Is_My_Sin

If it helps to lighten the mood, here's another trait of mine.
I'll be talking to someone & I'll usually mention the fact I need to go to the toilet & whether it's a pee or a crap. I've said it to teachers before by accident & they give me the strangest looks. But hey, I can't help it

*giggles* That's actually kinda cute!

Ok, I was thinking about stuff again when I couldn't sleep last night (damn tonsilitis keeping me awake!) and I've realised that my absolute worst trait has to be my insecurity and constant need for reassurance. I really wish I was a confident, self-contained woman, not a nervous little girl who always thinks she's doing everything wrong! :-(

Wise Child · 03-01-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deviant Kitten

Ok, I was thinking about stuff again when I couldn't sleep last night (damn tonsilitis keeping me awake!) and I've realised that my absolute worst trait has to be my insecurity and constant need for reassurance. I really wish I was a confident, self-contained woman, not a nervous little girl who always thinks she's doing everything wrong! :-(

I'm kind of the same but different - I do need constant reassurance, but can't bring myself to fish for it, much as I wish I could, for fear of looking weak or dependent. I come over very rational and secure, and while the former is mostly true the latter is really not. I'm actually a lot more neurotic than I'd ever let on to my friends - call me shallow and image-oriented, but I kind of like being seen as the one who has their head firmly screwed on. Little do they know... *spooky music* Sometimes I wish I had the guts to just ask for reassurance. Worrying ain't no fun.

WolfMoon · 03-01-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

I would like to say thanks to TStone, WolfMoon, Disfunction and Santarea for your replies to the Cruel Intentions twit. It's nice to know that there are people out there who won't call you weak when you admit to depression.

No problem, love.

I don't like to talk about it, but I suffer from it too. I actually fear that it'll get the best of me one day. I hide it like I used to hide bruises from my X.

Depression isn't a weakness, it can make you feel weak, though. The hardest thing is living with it. Plodding one more gruesome step forward when all you want to do is lay everything done and colapse.

It takes strength to move ahead.

You are strong for being able to admit it and for living with it.

Deviant Kitten · 03-02-2006, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

I honestly think that's why it smarts so much when someone's being really dumb. I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I come here to get AWAY from the stupidity. It really feels like a slap in the face when I encounter it here.

Ugh, yes - totally! It's like "nooo! There is no escape from the stupidity!!" :-P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wise Child

I'm kind of the same but different - I do need constant reassurance, but can't bring myself to fish for it, much as I wish I could, for fear of looking weak or dependent. I come over very rational and secure, and while the former is mostly true the latter is really not. I'm actually a lot more neurotic than I'd ever let on to my friends - call me shallow and image-oriented, but I kind of like being seen as the one who has their head firmly screwed on. Little do they know... *spooky music* Sometimes I wish I had the guts to just ask for reassurance. Worrying ain't no fun.

I try not to fish for reassurance because I know it's pretty degrading to do so. The problem is, when I don't get any reassurance I'm paranoid (I'm always thinking stupid shit like "no one likes me!" or "I can't believe I said that, I'm such an idiot!") but if I do give in to my fears and ask for reassurance then I'm embarrassed by myself (which leads to yet more paranoia and self-hatred) *sigh* my head is such a happy place to be! I'm still hoping to grow up and get over all this crap one day... ;-)

Wolfie - I like what you said about depression. There are so many inspirational people here at gothic.net, reading everyone's posts makes me feel better about the world, knowing that there are so many intelligent and sensitive individuals in it! It actually makes up for all the morons I meet on a day-to-day basis.

Tall One In Black · 03-02-2006, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deviant Kitten

I try not to fish for reassurance because I know it's pretty degrading to do so. The problem is, when I don't get any reassurance I'm paranoid (I'm always thinking stupid shit like "no one likes me!" or "I can't believe I said that, I'm such an idiot!") but if I do give in to my fears and ask for reassurance then I'm embarrassed by myself (which leads to yet more paranoia and self-hatred)

Sounds like what goes on in my head. I have pitifully low self-esteem. I dislike myself, so it's hard for me to believe that anyone else would like me.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 03-02-2006, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

I dislike myself, so it's hard for me to believe that anyone else would like me.

*Smooches Tall One*

We all ADORE you here, if that helps..

Personally I would like to see someone(maybe me when I finish my degree) explore what I think is a HUGE link between Surgery & Depression.

After Seven Major Surgeries, especially the last one which was THREE at the same time, with Three different Surgeons, I was and have been totally shredded emotionally.

The Post Op Pain, the Healing, the Rehabilitation.. Ugh. It really did a number on my Psyche.. I SWORE the last time they gutted me like a fish, I wouldn't go through it again.

But I really do think there is a link between the two that needs to be addressed. Doctors manage our Post Op Pain,(sorta) Care for our Incision(s), etc etc. But NO ONE has ever even inquired about my Mental or Emotional state Post Op.

Plus the more depressed you are, the longer it takes to heal right?

Do you find these things to be accurate Tall One?

Maybe I am really offbase, but I have certainly had plenty of time laying in hospital beds to ponder all of the possibilities over the years.

Ideally I would like to see ALL Post Op Patients, receive Mental Health Support across the board.

Either way the likely possibility that I will have to endure another surgery looms over me like a giant thundercloud most days.

Depression=SUCK

Tall One In Black · 03-02-2006, 10:54 AM

There is definitely a link between pain/sickness and depression - and the link works both ways. A person suffering from chronic pain is likely to become depressed. And a depressed person is likely to get sick or have aches - and is probably going to heal more slowly, too.

I agree with you about post-op mental health care. It's non-existent, or at least not prevalent enough, even though the link between the mind and the body is well-known.

Mental health care after surgery should be just as standard as regular post-op care. For some stupid reason, though, mental health care is seen as being totally separate from physical health care. Not only that, but it’s seen as being optional and usually unnecessary.

I had my four front teeth pulled at 18 months old. No one bothered to address the potential damage that might do to my self-esteem. They were concerned about my ability to eat, but no one cared about my ability to feel comfortable around other kids when I was the oddity who had no teeth in kindergarten or first grade. I began to hold my hand over my mouth when I talked because I was self-conscious.

I had major surgery at 19. No one bothered to address the mental state of a fragile teenager while I lay there in the hospital bed attached to a morphine pump, even though the surgery had the potential of completely changing the way I viewed myself. (I had a birth defect corrected.) And then there was the long and frustrating recuperation period when I was trapped at home for six weeks and forced to sleep only on my back for nearly a year. No one thought to ask how those things made me feel.

Tall One In Black · 03-02-2006, 10:59 AM

Sometimes I think it would be handy to have a Depression Inducer. It could be used to induce depression on all the lunatics who are rioting and starting wars. They would lose all motivation and hope, choosing to just lie around at home because they couldn’t care about anything. That would clear the way for those who are more reasonable to take the leadership positions.

Reject_Bunnies · 03-02-2006, 11:55 AM

My worst trait would have to be:Not letting anything go,holding grudges and trying to prove:"I'm right"(Even if there is overwhelming evidence that I'm not).

The anonymousness of the Internet allows you too easily to forget that not only is everyone connected, there's an actual person behind the words on the screen(With thoughts and feelings that may be different then my own).

maggot · 03-02-2006, 01:27 PM

I constantly make sarcastic comments when they shouldnt be said... And I speak to my television. <__<

She_Is_My_Sin · 03-02-2006, 03:14 PM

I'm patronising. Someone actually they told me they'd like me if I wasn't. & I discovered that I become the total opposite to the shy version of me with the help of alcohol. I was so happy & loud when I was drunk...

DrenchedInGin · 03-02-2006, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

My worst trait is that I have depression. Not the "look at me, I'm sooo gothic, I'm depressed" crap - the real deal (dysthymia with bouts of major depression, for anyone who cares).

Oh sweet Tall One, you're not alone! I've suffered from (and been medicated for) depressin for many years now. It has been very serious at times, and other times it's just in the background. It is a family trait - we've had a few suicides, so I'm grateful to have gotten a formal diagnosis.

For what good it does, I know that awful feeling of hopelessness. Loving hugs.

DrenchedInGin · 03-02-2006, 04:57 PM

I have a vile temper. Usually I make a big effort to be tolerant of people but occasionally something sets it off and I can't control myself. I explode; I say things I should never say to people; I throw big tantrums and make people cry. And sometimes I throw things at peoples' heads. Awful. Mr Gin is very good at recognising the Build Up and diverting me at the crucial time.

athilla nemrie · 03-02-2006, 08:43 PM

My worst trait is that I'm not that capable of trusting people even to those whom are so attached.

Godslayer Jillian · 03-02-2006, 09:05 PM

Oh, you'll trust me, or I'll slap you dead

Wise Child · 03-03-2006, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by athilla nemrie

My worst trait is that I'm not that capable of trusting people even to those whom are so attached.

Doesn't have to be a bad thing - I don't think any one person should be trusted completely, 100%, in the face of evidence that they're screwing you. Everyone's human. I'm not saying you should always be on the lookout for someone to shaft you, but a healthy level of reality will stop you from getting walked over.

Shi'ark · 03-03-2006, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wise Child

Doesn't have to be a bad thing - I don't think any one person should be trusted completely, 100%, in the face of evidence that they're screwing you. Everyone's human. I'm not saying you should always be on the lookout for someone to shaft you, but a healthy level of reality will stop you from getting walked over.

A lot of people have problems with trust, my self included. Ok it’s gets in the way of forming meaningful and complex relationships but then… actually no this is a bad thing. This is a real problem that I have.

Wise Child · 03-03-2006, 02:52 AM

Well, I guess it depends on the extent to which you distrust people. Like I said, I don't mean you should be literally waiting for people to do you over - it's more a case of: if it looks like a knobjockey, sounds like a knobjockey, and acts like a knobjockey, odds are it's a knobjockey. I have problems with people who blindly trust friends, SOs etc., despite overwhelming evidence that they're being taken for a mug.

Deviant Kitten · 03-03-2006, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

Sounds like what goes on in my head. I have pitifully low self-esteem. I dislike myself, so it's hard for me to believe that anyone else would like me.

I like you! *huggles*

I know what you mean though - I have crappy levels of self-esteem too :-/ I pick so many faults in myself that I convince myself I'm worthless. Once I start thinking like that it's a steep and slippery slope into depression and self-induced isolation (I convince myself no one wants me around). Shit, why is it so hard for us just to be kind to ourselves?! The mental torture I put myself through is something that I'd never inflict upon anyone else - so why do I do it to myself?!

pitseleh · 03-03-2006, 08:02 AM

As if I'd written it myself... Big hugs to you gals. ^^^

Unnatural as it is for "people like us" to fish for compliments, I'm dead sure if you actually asked someone close to you for some kind of affirmation, they'd be only too happy to tell you that you're wrong for having such low thoughts about yourself. I had a wonderfully relieving conversation with a girlfriend of mine the other day that confirmed just this. It just sucks that it's so hard to really believe it yourself... even when someone tells you to your face that you are great, and that you actually do make a huge positive difference in their life. A good, long embrace does help drive the point home, though...

Take care of yourself, and remember - You are amazing human beings. Yes you are. Even from thousands of kilometers away, I can tell that.

Phayte · 03-03-2006, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

See, now, I have the problem where I trust people too easily. Or, I did. When enough of my ex-friends told enough of my secrets, I got a little more careful. That doesn't mean I don't still have the problem, though. And I also rarely say "no", even when I should.

I had the same problem. I trusted my friends. I mean who wouldn't? They're your friends. The people you should be able to trust no matter what, but its rare to find friends like that anymore.
I usually ended up paying for movies or dinners a lot because I couldn't say no. I'd run errands or do stuff for them because I wanted to be nice. That all ended one day when my best friend decided she didnt like me anymore. She went and told everyone else that I had done some nasty things to her too. Like stealing $500 that she actually stole from me. I could have dealt with her turning on me like that, but everyone else automatically believed her even though I had never given them any reason not to trust me.
So, now I don't trust anyone. That's probably why I dont have any friends now.

People suck.