Quotes. Post Your Favs

[Raivyn]

"Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assaults of thoughts on the unthinking." - John Maynard Keynes

[XxBloodyrosexX]

you know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul. - jeanne de lespinasse

Misery is manifold. - E A Poe

All art is quite useless. - Oscar Wilde

The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. - Oscar Wilde

And I'd like to say I'm so glad people besides myself have read Mr. Wilde. It's lonley being the only one in my school who has read the classics and have seen their beauty.

[Tim Danzig]

I am honesty amazed this thread is still going strong.

"Why don’t you do the whole world a favour
Connect your throat to the nearest razor blade"-murderdolls(hilarious band)

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. - <Anonymous>

[$haDe]

Carpe per diem - seize the check.

[Albert Mond]

"Koupe tet, boule kay!" meaning "Cut off the head, burn down the house." - from Haitian Revolutionary Jean-Jacques Dessalines.

[jack_the_knife]

"You have guns, shields and tear gas. We only have stones. But you'll never break us." - unknown person '68 Paris riots.

[Devil's Darling]

Have you ever been in love?Horrible isn't it?It makes you so vulnerable.it opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.You build up all these defenses,you build up a whole suit of armor,so that nothing can hurt you,then one stupid person,no different from any other stupid person,wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.They didn't ask for it.They did something dumb one day,like kiss you or smile at you,and then your life isn't your own anymore.-Neil Gaiman

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

-Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning.
-Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
-Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
-If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
-You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
-If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
-The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
-Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
-I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.
-I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
-Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
-So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
-Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
-In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem
-Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
-“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
-The future will soon be a thing of the past.
-The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
-The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
-And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”
-If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
-Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
-Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
-“No comment” is a comment.
-The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
-I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights
-I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

[TokioHotelrox]

This is from V For Vendetta
"V: I can assure you, I mean no harm.
Evey:Who are you?
V:Who? Who is but the form following the function of what. And what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well, I can see that.
V:Of course you can. I am not questioning your powers of observation, I am merely remarking about the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey: Oh
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lure of the more common * forgot* The character of this dramatic persona. Vo-la! In view a humble vortivilian Veteran. Cast by most curiously both man and villain."

[Laettners Legacy]

When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want them to bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass!- Bobby Knight


If the NBA was on channel 5 and frogs making love were on channel 4, I would watch the frogs even if they came in fuzzy- bobby Knight

Its great to win a game in April-Mike Krzyzewski

I see no logic in your chosing Stonn over me-Spock

Cry "havok" and let slip the dogs of war-Shakespeare

[Laettners Legacy]

"Soccer is the most watched sport in every country BUT the US"
"And thats why I say 'God bless America!" Listen Up

[Pineapple_Juice]

Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack

-Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning.
-Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
-Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
-If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
-You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
-If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
-The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
-Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
-I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.
-I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
-Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
-So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
-Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
-In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem
-Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
-“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
-The future will soon be a thing of the past.
-The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
-The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
-And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”
-If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
-Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
-Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
-“No comment” is a comment.
-The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
-I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights
-I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

I miss that old bastard. *sob*

[Pineapple_Juice]

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death". -Unknown

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle

"Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law." -Hubert H. Humphrey

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy." -Henry Kissinger

"It's not a slam at you when people are rude-it's a slam at the people they've met before." -Francis Scott

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." -Susan Ertz

"Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument." -Unknown

"They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken." -Unknown

[PortraitOfSanity]

I'm a total Lord of the Rings dork, and since I was a kid, I've always loved Theoden's speech at the battle of the Pelennor Fields:

Arise, arise Riders of Théoden! Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter! Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now, ride now! Ride for ruin… and the world’s ending! Death! Death! Forth Eorlingas!

[Pineapple_Juice]

That last word made me think of cunnilingus and now I'm laughing like a 12 year old boy.

[Komakino]

"...and then the ballerina rose gracefully, en pointe one slender leg upwards, like a dog at a fire hydrant." -Anonymous

[Godslayer Jillian]

Hah! In that spirit
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t."

[Malice In Wonderland]

-"IT'S FOUR IN THE FUNKING MORNING"

-"It's Saturday"

-"NO IT'S FUNKING SUNDAY, AND I'VE GOT TO GO TO FUNKING WORK IN FOUR FUNKING HOURS BECAUSE EVERYONE OTHER FUNKER IN MY FUNKING DEPARTMENT, IS FUNKING ILL. NOW DO YOU SEE WHY IM SO FUNKING ANGRY?"

-"Funk yeah"

Censorship ftw.

[SiouxsiePernova]

My favourite at the moment is: "Profanity is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker".

[Pastamancer]

"Make a fire for a man and you warm him for a day. Make a fire of a man and you warm him for a lifetime."

It's a quote from a game I played.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

"Nor a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." - Mozart

[Corpsey]

Reporter: "Robert Muldoon! What do you think about New Zealanders migrating to Australia?"

Muldoon: "I think it's great! It'll increase the average IQ's of both countries."

[Mr E Nigma]

"That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?""

-Terry Pratchett

"Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions."

-Terry Pratchett (Night Watch)

and

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

-Terry Pratchett (Good Omens)

[zerademark]

"If Evil Truly Exists, then It Does So Within The Heart of Mankind." I got this from some old school video game, dont remember which. It's set in all my signatures and banners. ^^ I really agree with this one.

"First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they figh you. Then you win." - Mahatma Ghandi

[xgallowsravenx]

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: Magic and bullshit.

An Animated Cartoon Theology:

1. People are animals.
2. The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
3. Life is antagonistic to the living.
4. The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and plucked for music.
5. The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own cunning.
6. The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own momentum.
7. We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.
--E. L. Doctorow "The Book of Daniel"

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
--Rule of Feline Frustration

People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.

and last for now

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.