Clever witticism here!

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 07:02 AM

Introduction titles are fucking hard, okay?

1. What do you do? (Hobbies, job)
Currently, I'm a card-dealer at a casino. It's good money and it keeps my wits sharp, so I s'pose it's nice. I also don't get fired for making sarcastic quips when people annoy me, so it's a step up above any other job with expected customer service, right?

Hobbies.. eh. I enjoy reading, writing, learning more about the history and cultures of various time periods and countries, video editing, web design, video games, anything fantasy, poker, making fun of people on the internet, and a plethora of other things, mostly silly and meaningless time dumps. I also have a cat, who's probably a lot smarter than the majority of the Internet. He's the best.

2. Where are you from?
I hail from the Internet. The southern US, actually, but the Internet is probably a more accurate description of where I spend most of my time. No shame, no shame!

3. Who is your favorite author?
George RR Martin. I'll read anything that actually has a plot (which is sadly becoming a lot less prevalent in recent books, but I digress!), but I'm rather partial to science fiction and fantasy.

4. What are your favorite films?
Any cheesy futuristic/apocalyptic movie, to be sure. Maybe I've just got a morbid love for man-made destruction and suffering, but there's just something about seeing our world torn asunder by the sheer stupidity of mankind that really gets me going.

Oh, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Because not even I'm too apathetic and bitter to not uncontrollably laugh at this.

5. What music do you want played at your wedding?
Therion, if I had to pick a specific band. Iron Maiden's Mother Russia if I had to pick a specific song. And no, I don't give a fuck if the lyrics fit the situation. I like music because of how it sounds, not because I can somehow relate to some terribly sad lyrics or something.

6. At your funeral?
Same answer.

7. This IS a gothic website, so... how do you want to die?
Preferably not of something terribly painful, if it's all the same to you. I'm a complete pussy, and I have no qualms admitting it.

8. What kind of casket would you want?
I'm not infatuated with death, so that's a detail I haven't thought of.. and don't quite care to, honestly!

9. What's your FAVORITE outfit?
I don't.. have one? My clothes are typically the same from day-to-day: jeans and a t-shirt. Plain or some obscure and nerdy reference on the shirt, and typically black. I never claimed to be a unique snowflake!

10. What's one thing you miss about being a little kid?
I had a lot more faith in people. I judged less because I cared less. I was more carefree, and lived in the moment. Making sarcastic witticisms about why people suck is great and all, but life was a lot cooler when the worst thing to happen to me was my mom cooking spaghetti for supper (yes, I do hate it!).

11. What's your favorite band?
Therion, Epica, After Forever, Korpiklaani, Celtic Woman, Apocalyptica, Leaves Eyes. I'm a huge fan of symphonic metal, folk metal, classical, and anything with classical-sounding elements mixed with metal, really.

12. What kind of education do you have? What is/was/will be your major?
I was originally a music major. That's right- one of those. I was a bright-eyed band geek, whose ultimate goal in life was to be a band director. So ultimate, I quit after one semester, in fact. I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing these past five years, all while successfully attributing it to "discovering myself." I'll go back eventually, once I find a job that I can enjoy without having to spend the majority of each day thinking of clever ways to kill off every person I come in contact with.

My back-up plan is to just major in English, but teaching snotty teens that "LOL" isn't a form of punctuation doesn't seem quite up my alley. After all these long years of soul-searching, there's a very good chance I might end up doing a circle and ending up majoring in music after all.

13. Why did you join?
Besides being a bit of a forum junkie, I was sold after reading this thread here. The tone of the post was so saturated in sarcasm, I couldn't even get to the end of the thread before clicking the "register" link.

14. If the first 13 questions didn't give it away. What is your gender?
Can't I pretend to be mysterious?

Geoluhread · 12-01-2009, 07:11 AM

Welcome to the boards =)
I`m a fan of symphonic and power metal myself =)

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 08:30 AM

Awesome. I'm always up for recommendations.

Also, can I not edit my posts? Mother fucker.

/edit Just the initial one, it appears.

the-nihilist · 12-01-2009, 08:33 AM

Hail, fellow casino worker!

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the-nihilist

Hail, fellow casino worker!

Are you also a dealer? If so, what games!

the-nihilist · 12-01-2009, 08:35 AM

No! I work in the IT department! I'm at work right now in fact, fixing equipment that they use in table games!

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 08:38 AM

I was hoping for an interesting conversation about card games, but that's still pretty cool.

the-nihilist · 12-01-2009, 08:49 AM

I want to throw all of these pieces of proprietary garbage into the bay.

Any device that uses Phoenix BIOS is now on my blacklist.

Ophelia's Snorkel · 12-01-2009, 09:00 AM

Welcome! It's not every day I get to meet someone new who hasn't listed E.A. Poe, Bauhaus, a detailed burial plan, and his favourite corset/boots combination in the intro. Any fan of Monty Python is a friend in my book, though! Plus, you're educated, literate, very funny, and you obviously like it here already. Glad to have you on the boards.

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 09:01 AM

Dude, corsets are expensive. They're nice and all, but holy shit, not worth it.

And thanks. Lots of fun personalities here- looks to be for some good times.

Lord Whiskerton · 12-01-2009, 02:04 PM

We seem to share the same love for folk Metal. Welcome aboard! What other folk metal bands do you enjoy listening to?

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtlehammer

Dude, corsets are expensive. They're nice and all, but holy shit, not worth it.

And thanks. Lots of fun personalities here- looks to be for some good times.

You may have given away your gender here XD

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Whiskerton

We seem to share the same love for folk Metal. Welcome aboard! What other folk metal bands do you enjoy listening to?

You may have given away your gender here XD

Korpiklaani is the only band I know that's technically labelled as folk metal, although a lot of symphonic metal tends to stray into that area at times. If you have any recommendations, I'm all ears- the genre is amazing, and I'm saddened at its lack of popularity!

Also, not necessarily. I've definitely seen guys to wear corsets.

Mr E Nigma · 12-01-2009, 08:28 PM

Good old Korpiklaani. hah. I listen to just about everything and have dabbled a bit in folk metal, viking metal, troll metal, whatever people want to call it.

Also, to the prior note, I was thinking guy until the corset thing was mentioned.

Where do you deal cards?

(Bands you might be into, not necessarily ones I really enjoy, but maybe you'll have better luck.

Einherjer
Turisas
Ensiferum
Skyclad
Bathory
Demons and Wizards
Dream Theater..
)

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 08:29 PM

I deal cards at a crappy little casino called Isle of Capri in Louisiana. I used to deal at a nicer casino, but had to move closer to home.

Dream Theater is all right, but not quite up to my tastes. I definitely prefer the "epic" feel to my music!

Mr E Nigma · 12-01-2009, 08:35 PM

Well there's always Iced Earth and Blind Guardian, which is who Demons and Wizards was formed from. Some of the others listed might be up your epic alley. hah

turtlehammer · 12-01-2009, 08:38 PM

I'll definitely take a look at 'em tonight and tell you what I think. Thanks again.

the-nihilist · 12-01-2009, 08:38 PM

The Pile of Debris, eh?

Lord Whiskerton · 12-02-2009, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtlehammer

Korpiklaani is the only band I know that's technically labelled as folk metal, although a lot of symphonic metal tends to stray into that area at times. If you have any recommendations, I'm all ears- the genre is amazing, and I'm saddened at its lack of popularity!

Also, not necessarily. I've definitely seen guys to wear corsets.

Here are my favorites:
Ensiferum
Bathory
(these two were also mentioned by Mr E nigma)
Orphaned Land
Fferyllt
Alestorm
Eluveitie
Equilibrium

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 12-02-2009, 04:44 PM

I want you to be a man just because guys in the dealer's outfits is too hot x3

I enjoy Blackjack, I've racked up several million on the virtual one before but I won't let myself play in real life, I know I'm an addict and I don't have enough money to support that habit >_>

turtlehammer · 12-02-2009, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey

I want you to be a man just because guys in the dealer's outfits is too hot x3

I enjoy Blackjack, I've racked up several million on the virtual one before but I won't let myself play in real life, I know I'm an addict and I don't have enough money to support that habit >_>

What dealer outfits have you seen? Every casino I've played at, the uniforms have been abysmal.

Blackjack is fun, but Texas Hold 'Em is where the money's at. Blackjack is a money-sucker.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 12-02-2009, 04:54 PM

Just the average black pants, coloured vest, and white dress shirt, with a bowtie, mind you there was that one place, where they did away with the bow tie, and the guys and gals, just had their shirt half undone... mmm....

I tell you, if a young man came to me in a dealer outfit, I'd strip him down and fulfill his every wish ;D

Hahahaha!

turtlehammer · 12-02-2009, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey

Just the average black pants, coloured vest, and white dress shirt, with a bowtie, mind you there was that one place, where they did away with the bow tie, and the guys and gals, just had their shirt half undone... mmm....

I tell you, if a young man came to me in a dealer outfit, I'd strip him down and fulfill his every wish ;D

Hahahaha!

Unfortunately, Vegas casinos are in a league of their own. The rest of the world's casinos are not like that, and the uniforms are hardly as classy. My current uniform is a button-up, pale blue silk shirt. Very unattractive.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 12-02-2009, 05:02 PM

Indeed... well then get yourself to Vegas and sexify yourself!

turtlehammer · 12-06-2009, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Whiskerton

Here are my favorites:
Ensiferum
Bathory
(these two were also mentioned by Mr E nigma)
Orphaned Land
Fferyllt
Alestorm
Eluveitie
Equilibrium

I listened to all of these and any Lord Whiskerton suggested, as well as coming across a friend who started sending me songs of other similar bands. I'm very, very much a fan. I particularly enjoyed Alestorm, Eluveitie, and Bathory- consider them added to my favorites list!