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Old 11-17-2013, 10:07 AM   #1
turningthescrew
 
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Cynicism

Perhaps unlike the gothic stereotype, for most of my life I've been fairly happy. Lived 'in my own world', so to speak, and have had a belief in some sort of existence after death. This wasn't an unquestioning belief either; I read plenty in to it, mainly philosophy. I've never been religious, never adhered to any rules or the laws of a book, but I used to feel some sort of connection with most of the people I met and believed that there was something in this connection, this something having the ability to transcend life and death.

Recently, I've started to doubt all of this. I now see death as a brick wall coming quickly towards me and, scarier still, those I love. My mind is completely preoccupied with it now, I can't see 'meaning' in anything (as what is meaning without longevity?), and it's starting to destroy quite a large part of my personality.

There must be plenty of atheists on this forum - please let me know how you deal with this. I don't want replies from people who simply chose not to think about it, to suppress their belief or lack of, but people who have had to actually overcome this problem. Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:23 PM   #2
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Can I ask how old are you? I'm not asking it in a snarky or ageist way, but the time in your life in which you begin to question this stuff is important in such a discussion.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:42 PM   #3
turningthescrew
 
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Hey, I'm 26
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Old 11-17-2013, 10:04 PM   #4
Delphina
 
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screw my friend, you have it inside out !

life has no meaning without death! what does not die is not alive! death IS life and life IS death

time is not really a line... that is a narrow way to think... you will always BE...
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Old 11-17-2013, 10:06 PM   #5
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also your consciousness may not be carried through all times... but the energy that IS YOU has always been and will always be until we return unto whence we came
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Old 11-19-2013, 01:39 PM   #6
Alan
 
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Sorry for taking this long to respond. You're actually a little older than me so you have more world experience, but I can share what I have.
It's natural to feel these things, but it's especially interesting that you're experiencing them way after your teenage years. In that way, you can actually explore this existential angst without the shallow teenage wangst that accompanies so many high schoolers.

Personally, when I began to question things liek the very meaning of life or even the meaning of 'meaning' I logically went towards reading philosophy. I feel it helped me. It doesn't help in a psychological way of making one feel objectively better, but it helps in the sense of seeing just how much people throughout history have struggled with these concepts, and made me think that maybe it's part of human nature itself, and therefore even if it feels bad, its exploration might be good.

I don't know if it will help you solve these questions, but it might help you reformulate them or put them into a new context if you read the very short story by Albert Camus called the Myth of Sisyphus. It starts with these cynic premises you're talking about, but ends by making a quite optimistic conclusion out of them, but I won't ruin it for you.
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Old 11-19-2013, 02:16 PM   #7
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I just try to appreciate life here and now. The idea that life is fleeting and finite makes it so precious. It should be treated as such.

When my dad died I dealt with it like any one else, I grieved. Even if there were some sort of afterlife I'd never get to see him again in this one, so the basic result is the same.

Death is sneaking up on all of us, if we're lucky, age will grind us down to nothing until we fade out like a sputtering candle in the night. So, enjoy what you've got while you've got it, appreciate the people you love while they're still here to appreciate. Remember them after they're gone, so that a piece of them still remains in the world.

Life just is. Life grows, reproduces and dies. Any meaning beyond that is what we impose upon it.
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Old 11-20-2013, 05:15 AM   #8
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I usually hate answering serious questions with quotes and things (especially when it comes to talking about death - I was a palliative care nurse for 10 years, and death is something that I'm good with talking about), but I read this tonight and thought that it was quite amazing.. and I really don't think that I could say anything to top it.

Also, it's about Carl Sagan who is just fucking brilliant.


Quote:
“When my husband died, because he was so famous & known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — & ask me if Carl changed at the end & converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage & never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief & precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive & we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous & so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space & the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me & it’s much more meaningful… The way he treated me & the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other & our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”

— Ann Druyan, on her husband, Carl Sagan’s, death.
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