underage marriage

spartan-117 · 11-10-2005, 01:08 PM

hey, hows everyone doing?...any "life" changing moments of the day for anyone...
(oh, and I have a question!, what are your opinions on marriage at the age of 17?...this question is mainly directed at soul immortal, xnguela, tenet, and mrmaelstrom. if any of you dont mind)..also for anyone else's input if you like.

DeathTrip · 11-10-2005, 01:09 PM

oo go for it, if you're sure you're in love then yeah.. =)

MrMaelstrom · 11-10-2005, 01:15 PM

There's a time and place. Not here, and not now.

And why should your question be limited to a few members anywaY? I mean, if another vet, or someone who we "know" asked that question, they'd might get our reply, but you just got here, so take a chill pill.
And I'm 33 and single. What kind of parallel do you think I can draw for you?

And just how polite do you think it is to ask for someone else's opinion when you don't offer yours first?

Quid pro quo, dude, quid pro quo (look it up).

Anyway, not the time OR the place.

p.s. by the way, I believe I know who you are.
Don't think for a moment that I don't.
I'm just waiting for you to slip up or grow up (whichever comes first).
All your other persona's will be deleted according to how relevant/offensive I find "their" posts to be.
Do I make myself clear here?
Good!
I could, of course, be wrong. Time will tell.

spartan-117 · 11-10-2005, 01:21 PM

thanks death trip and xnguela. even though your answers were total opposites, it's just that her moms kind of abusive, also she lives in long beach LA, and im over by fresno and the only way she can be with me is if we get married...so I dont know what to do? I'd fuckin die for this girl without a second thought...sorry if this post angers anyone (I know its a picture post and all) so this is my last post about this matter.thanks.

flawed-mentality · 11-10-2005, 02:23 PM

I know you don't like me maelstrom . I assure you I have only two persona's here one I sware I won't use again and the other ,as you can tell has a flawed mentality.I will stay as flawed mentality unless you force me .If you leave me no other opptions I will swich. Otherwise no.Next time I won't tell,unless you catch me.So as a favor to all the people here don't leave me with only the option to switch.I am quite certain the fine people here don't wan't me to pleage this place with unknown persona's.I don't like switching names ,nobody likes me switching naames.So have a pleasent day.

flawed-mentality · 11-10-2005, 02:38 PM

I have my ways .I have several e-mail edress,under differnt names.As you can tell my mind veries grately if I tryed I can sneak in unoticed .I the last was a gimmic it had no love for that persona.Thats why I didn't try to spell or punctuate he was meaningless I rather detest tempest .Iv'e grown verey fond of flawed so beg you don't make me switch. I have nothing against you . So ill stay out of your way unless you pick on someone.Have a pleasent day uinator

flawed-mentality · 11-10-2005, 02:39 PM

There was sapose to be an I before beg.

Phayte · 11-10-2005, 02:49 PM

I don't think anyone that is 17 fully understands what marrige is. I'm not trying to insult anyone, marrige is a huge step. Even if you dont believe in the religious side of things there is still the human side of things. Papers. The law.. 17 is just too young.
I know when I was 17 I felt the same way every 17 year old does. I felt like I knew everything, was ready for anything and I could handle anything. I was wrong.. very wrong. My first live-in relationship with a guy turned out to be the biggest mistake f my life because I thought i knew it all. Please dont make the same mistake.
Im 24 now, and Married.. I lived 2500 miles from him for the first year of our relationship. I've been dealing with Immigration for 2 years now. You wont have that problem, but you cant solve a distance problem simply with marrige. What if your finally with her, and it turns bad? You will be stuck.
I know this from experience.. My best friend and my brother both married for the wrong reasons. My friend did so she could move with him to another state. My brother did so he could have sex.. Both marriges have turned out very shitty. One is divorced and the other is miserable 24/7.
So, let me get to a point somewhere in this rambling. On top of af all the problems that come with marrige.. don't make things worse by jumping into it blind.

Marrige can be a beautiful thing. Let it happen when everything is right. Dont force it.

~Phayte

MrMaelstrom · 11-10-2005, 02:57 PM

On a different note: I don't care how many personas one makes up. All of your characters were pretty much the same: annoying.

I would have acted the way I did even if I was sure they were new people. A moron is a moron. The personality shines through. A few people tried doing that switch thing. It always turned out we figured out who they were. The person typing is the same.

Kind of like you and Samuel misspelling Shakespeare the same way: it smells.

This is an example as to why Samuel (who may in fact be who he says he is) is on probation as far as I'm concerned.

And I still don't think you get it: this is OUR playground. No one here makes you do anything. You do as you will and we do as we will. Some of us just happen to have some extra buttons to push so that we can have our way.

We are not equal and this site is not a democracy. That is why you have a post count, a join date and rep points to tell people here apart.
This, of course, is unnecessary for regular members, seen as they know the hierarchy that does exist around here. You just haven't really noticed it yet.

And some of your other personas will be banned quite soon.

TheKorovaMilkbar · 11-10-2005, 03:23 PM

I'm definitely going with what Phayte said. There is a huge difference in experience between you when you are 17 and then again when you are 21. Trust me. If you're not around her 24/7, then I would advice against it. Because only when you know that you two will get along being together 24/7 would you be able to make the right decision. You should count on the fact that once you are married, you will be in the same room as that person wherever you go for the rest of your life. When you think of it that way, it might open your eyes a little more.

rockandrose · 11-10-2005, 03:40 PM

Maturity and readiness for marriage does not necessarily have a strong correlation.

Who's to say that a 21 year old is more ready to get married, compared to a 17 year old? Since when were 17 year olds categorised as one group?

Every single person is different.

*sigh*

I'm not going to bother.

TheKorovaMilkbar · 11-10-2005, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockandrose

Who's to say that a 21 year old is more ready to get married, compared to a 17 year old? Since when were 17 year olds categorised as one group?

I'm not saying that it is a sure thing, but the chances are more likely. Of course there are those exceptions like immature 21 year olds, or our favorite exception here, the young Demonista, who acts older than most 17-18 year old teens.

But think of it on a grander scale, such as 17 to 35. The greater the transition, the more experience and maturity is expected of those older adults.

But I suppose you're right, age doesn't constitute a 35 year old being any better at making a decision on marriage than a 17 year old.

Shiva · 11-10-2005, 04:47 PM

if people are ready to get married at the age of 16 why cant they wait two years? The laws say 18 right. Why do it any sooner... no point at all... im gonna wait until im 97 years old.. and i hope never to be 97 years old...

Una · 11-10-2005, 05:04 PM

It depends really. If your in love and you really know you love the person and you can;t live without them go for it. Make sure you talk to your mate though first, see if he/she is feeling the same way.

secretboy · 11-10-2005, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

If you get banned, you get your IP banned. That means you can't get a new persona.

Not necessarily. There are a number of ways around it. The lazy procedure, though, would just be to ban by name. Banning by IP can be tedious, especially if the person's on a cable modem and their IP address often changes. I speak from experience.

anti · 11-10-2005, 07:41 PM

If you really love the person, it won't matter if you marry her at 17, 18 or even 97. So, since it's not legal, why not wait?

The only reason I see to rush things is if you don't properly trust the person and want to tie her down, making it harder for her to leave you if she gets bored with you.

The Minister Saint-Fond · 11-10-2005, 07:48 PM

I agree that everyone is different, but I think that most people still have a lot of learning about who they want to be when they're 17. They may still need to "sew some oats" as well... While people's maturity level differes, I think the majority of people at 17 may not fully understand the concept of a lifetime commitment... Which is a bummer, because have you ever really loved as strongly as you did at 17?

The thing about marriage that I think a lot of people don't understand is that a couple will fall into and out of love many times over the course of their time together. I guess the real question, regardless of age, is; Will the couple be able to stick out the times together when they are not "in love", and will they find a way to fall back in love when they do?

But on a side note, I think getting married in order to save someone from a bad situation is a bad idea.

Phayte · 11-10-2005, 08:16 PM

Yes, everyone is different. I've seen 14 year olds get married and they are still together very much in love.
I was generalizing about 17 year olds. It's not just the age in numbers it's the age in maturity. Everyone I've personally met under the age of 20 was not ready for something as big as marrige.
Most people don't take it seriously enough these days to really consider what it's about. Instead they think.. "Oh, well if it doesnt work we can always get divorced." Legally yes they can, but thats not the right way to think about marrige.

~Phayte

BlueMoon · 11-10-2005, 08:17 PM

Marriage is not a life-long commitment and a divorce is not the end of the world, so why not get married.

Just make sure if you get divorced and have kids that neither of you takes it out on the kids, that's the most important thing.

Personally I think marriage is totally unimportant.
My parents got married when my mom was 20 and my dad 26 (I was already born then).
They were married for 5 years and it was a bad marriage, bad divorce and bad 12 years of custody fight. (Interesting and a bit gothic though, my mother got married in a dark red dress with black lace)
My mom now has another man, they started seeing each other 17 years ago and have been living together for 15 years. They have a wonderful relationship and I doubt they'll ever get married.

I go with my sister, marry at 97. Don't get 97

Shiva · 11-10-2005, 08:25 PM

cuz she dosnt want the last name.. harrharr.. riight.. they just know just like me that marriage is... weird.. unimportand... not gonna last.. end with divorce... EVIL!!

The Minister Saint-Fond · 11-10-2005, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phayte

Most people don't take it seriously enough these days to really consider what it's about. Instead they think.. "Oh, well if it doesnt work we can always get divorced." Legally yes they can, but thats not the right way to think about marrige.

That's a good point. Some people, like for instance, my ex-wife... Don't want to be married, but they do want to get married.

These are two very different things.

When you *get* married, you're the center of attention for about a year. You get a big fancy ring (I dropped $6,000 on mine, what did you guys spend? She wanted two month's salary and I said Hell No! Not even close! You're getting 5 grand tops! but we compromised), you get all kinds of gifts, you get all kinds of new fancy clothes.... And finally, you get a great big party where everyone you know comes from all over the country to celebrate you. After that, you take your new love and a shitload of money that people have given you on a massive vacation.

Then you come back and have fun buying furniture and redecorating...

And then there you two are... Right where you were before... Staring at each other and wondering what the hell to do now... Some people have kids, some don't...

Eventually, it either peters out or it doesn't. Usually, in the USA, it does, and within about two to four years. And then you get divorced and do it all over again.

Like I said, a lot of people what to get married, not be married.

BlueMoon · 11-10-2005, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anti

If you really love the person, it won't matter if you marry her at 17, 18 or even 97. So, since it's not legal, why not wait?

The only reason I see to rush things is if you don't properly trust the person and want to tie her down, making it harder for her to leave you if she gets bored with you.

I also really agree with this.

Phayte · 11-10-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Minister Saint-Fond

You get a big fancy ring (I dropped $6,000 on mine, what did you guys spend?

My engagement ring was $150, wedding ring was $140. My hubby got lucky.. I hate diamonds hehe

Shiva · 11-10-2005, 10:08 PM

You can still be WITH someone, the one and only for years and years and still not be married.. Being married is just a paper.. That has nothing to do with the feeling.. Marriage is not a feeling, love is..

Phayte · 11-10-2005, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

I want to get married because I want to wake up every morning and know that the man I'm sharing my bed, my home, and my life with is my soulmate, and that he's the one that will always love me, and always be there for me, and the one who I can always trust.

If you ask me, that's a reason to get married. It's when you've found THAT person, and you can't imagine your life without them.

So, true. I've found mine