Rant Thread

[HumanePain]

I have been there Splintered, and felt the same continuing fixation about a girl long after she broke up with me. I was very fortunate however, in that she was a friend afterwards, and kept pushing me to do what (at the time) seemed counter-intuitive:
to ask another girl out.

I would listen to the same music tapes (cassettes back then) over and over again, reliving the past, that we used to listen to with each other when we were together, and she would confiscate them. She forced me out of the mobius loop, and kept pushing me and pushing me to ask other girls out. Finally, to please her, I did.

What a solution! Such deliverance! The girl I asked out said yes, and we fell in love with each other, and went steady for a year, with many happy memories.

It is important to "get back in the saddle", and meet someone new, not to forget your friend, but to forget the feelings that are no longer appropriate.

Just my two cents worth. Hope it works out for you.

[cradle]

Yeah, I'de listen to HP.
The same thing happened to me, my ex wanted me to ask another girl out...I did.
But I kind of got fucked over on that one...She lied about why she didn't want to go out with me.

[Morrigan_Dubh]

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Wondering why people join forums when all they seem to want to do is bicker. Arugment is a good thing, do not get me wrong. I do not understand why there seems to be entire threads of inane trolling that is unignored and unmoderated.

There doesn't seem to be any active moderators on this board anymore, and the admin just pops in occasionally to check out threads that have been reported and to contribute the coccasional vague and childish thread defending it's lack of interest in this forum.

There is a large amount of bickering on this forum, larger than what I have experienced elsewhere. It attracts a lot of trolls because it is the first result when you type in "Gothic" into Google, and so anyone with a one to pick with the gothic "subculture" (for whatever reason), well, this is the first stop. Due to the defensive nature of many of the members, it is super-fuel for trolls. Many members can't help but take the bait. Plus the current denizens of this board have inherited the attitude of a previous generation of members who did not suffer lightly new, and therefore comparatively ignorant and misinformed, aspiring Goths .

However this older generation has moved on, due to dissatisfaction with the administration, and there remains a few who pass on a certain warped version of the previous age's lack of tolerance for laziness and disrespect (which manifests itself as lack of effort with spelling/grammar, since, on a board, our main method of communication is writing.), and "gothic" overkill, i.e. attempting to be gothier-than- thou, but in actual fact being transparently poseurish.

[Splintered]

Humane, you make sense.
I don't like it, but what you say makes the most sense.

[Mir]

Things will never, ever, EVER change.

[Godslayer Jillian]

I just had a major rant right now on msn.
A friend of mine asked me what did I think about the band RBD (Mexican preppy band)
This is what I said:
-"hate them"
-"lol, thats powerful"
-"I really do"
-"any reason why?"
-"First of all, they have no talent.
Second, they don't write their already awful songs.
Third: it's not a band if no one plays an instrument.
Fourth: if any "band" has ever sold out, it's them. I mean, for fucking Christ, they have an RBD brand for everything!! make-up, accessories, lunchboxes.... I fucking hope it doesn't branch to clothing too.
Fifth: that idiotic band began because of a soap opera. Soap operas are supposed to be novels come to TV. As so, it must follow the novel or script; it must end wherever the script ends. Yet, the soap opera of RBD kept going for another two seasons because of the popularity of the band. The soap opera wasn't a novel. it was purely marketing.
Need I say more or shall I stop there to keep with the Law of the Fives?"

[Pyre]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Third: it's not a band if no one plays an instrument.

I tried arguing this point with people before. They still believe that rap artists are musicians.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Yes, this annoys me as well.

I need new friends. Actually I just need friends. The one I did have just likes using me for stupid shit. And what do I getin return??? I get ditched and insulted and hurt all the freaking time. I hate it.

[Pyre]

Okay, so I had one asshole "friend" attacking another asshole "friend". Not only did Asshole #1 post a flame on Asshole #2 on his website for being a "f@ggot" (though he's not gay, but you would have to know the situation to understand), but then #1 rants on and on to me about how mallgothy #2 is and implies how stupid I was for liking #2. All #1 does is bash #2 over and over again, while for some stupid reason I defend #2 over and over again. Both #1 and #2 have hurt me in some way at some time, though because I have known #1 longer he has done more damage, so I care less. I really, really hate even bothering trying to have male friends, because they turn out to be so hateful to me and seem only to try to hurt and use me.
So now #1 is blocked off of my messenger, and #2 refuses to have any communication with me anyway. Life is swell.

[She_Is_My_Sin]

Me & a few of my friends have been mucked about by another set of "friends". they say they like us & they expect Xmas presents from us, but do absolutely nothing in return. They say we are all friends, but I guess not good enough to be invited to their Xmas parties & go to the cinema etc.

Well, thank goodness I have enough sense to ditch them for good.

[Splintered]

So, today, I attempted to put Humane's advice into practice.

Yet, now I am left with a new dilemma.

The person that I am currently interested in, has somewhat of a barrier that would prevent us from getting together.

Ergo.
She lives in a different part of the world.

That kind of puts a dent on how much you can do, at this age. Seeing as how I neither posses a car, a driver's license, or a plane ticket, I can't exactly go visit her.

Yet, keeping touch by mail, by phone, etc. Isn't that hard for me to manage. I could keep up with it; I know I could. It's a rather simple task.

It is what it implies, that becomes the pain.

First of all, to the rest of the world, I would be unable to prove that I have a girlfriend. There's always this case of "Oh! That's a photoshopped picture", etc. Which, would ultimately make me look like an idiot, and render me practically undateable to the rest of the population. That would be a bitch.

Second, I would be unable to even claim that I have a girlfriend. There are a few people who would highly frown upon what I would be doing. Ergo, these unnamed individuals wield much power in my life, in the form of an internet connection, and a phone. Any leak that I have one, would result in long interrogation.

Third, no dates. I can't exactly take her out to the amusement park, or go see a movie. That is usually a good part of a relationship.

All three of these things, and many more, are conspiring against what could be a beautiful relationship.

But, I do, genuinely feel feelings for the person. This is what has been bugging me all along.

If I am not willing to go to these extremes for the ones I love, then what is the point of loving them in the first place? Do I even love them? If I am not willing to endure these things, do I even deserve these people in the first place?

[Pyre]

You're in a very difficult situation, Splintered. Because I am basically a hermit I have always found relationships online (though I have ended serious online relationships from now on). I also have experience in having a serious online relationship that was taken into real life. It is so difficult, Splintered. People aren't quite what they seem, and problems may arise. Even if this doesn't happen, there's also the fact that though you may experience the opportunity to spend time with the one you care about, there is no guarantee you will get such a chance again.

I am not trying to discourage you, I am simply telling you something you may or may not already know. Long distance relationships are practically impossible, especially at a young age. It's too late to warn you now, but since you're already in over your head, I can only have the best of wishes for you and hope that something will work out. If you both truly love eachother, then I see no reason why you still won't feel the same even after time has passed when you have finally a chance to meet.

If you really wish to do so, I suggest saving up money for a means of transportation. Once you have reached your goal you should speak to your parents and she can speak to hers; work something out. Don't ever think that it's impossible to reach your ultimate destination: Happiness.

[BlackButterfly]

::cry::

I have officially torn my apartment from asshole to appetite, and I cannot find my USB cord from my camera, ergo I cannot upload the product of my camwhoring into the Pic Post thread!!

::lamentation::

Worse, I am feeling uber-lazy right now, and I don't want to clean any of the resulting disaster up...

[Splintered]

You know what? Today, I'm feeling better. Recently, I've been in somewhat of a depressed mood, yet today, I am actually, genuinely, feeling much, much better, and it's not just some caffeine induced feel-good thing.

Ok, so my girlfriend broke up with me. That had made me sad before. Now, it's just fine. I'll probably have the same feelings for other people, and I'll get over this one. I'm looking back on how I actually felt about her, and I realize that a lot of what I felt, was more "After-The-Fact" kind of things. I thought I loved her, and I had always did. Yet, looking back, it seems more like a thing that emerged later. My head feels a bit clearer now, because I am slowly remembering all of those annoying things she used to do. Also, I'm looking at other people, who I realize are closer to me then she was, and what we had, now seems superficial.

That girl that I had my eye on, but lived somewhere else? Well, I've come to the conclusion that, I can't do anything about it right now. I am not getting my driver's license for a while, and I will probably have already gotten up with someone else by the time I do. If that happens, then I'll be with that person, great. If that doesn't happen, there's always the girl in the far off land, presuming that she doesn't have a boyfriend. If she doesn't have a boyfriend then I can always find someone else. The world is a pretty damn big place.

I also don't get along with my parents that much. Before, this used to drag me down, because I somewhat value family relationships. They seemed like they should be valuable, and that I should work on trying to maintain one. Now, I realize that if we develop a relationship, hey, that's great. If not, I'm moving out in a few years, and I can do whatever I want.

I used to worry about my grades. Even though I am doing fairly good (High GPA in Advanced Placement classes), I still get really nervous over my future. I don't know exactly what I want to do, and I'm really, just taking generic classes to fill up the space. So, today, I had a thought in my head: What are two things that I do now, that I really like working with?

One of them is guns. I've always liked them, how they're built, the way they are designed, etc. The second is computers. I've always been around them, I've liked them forever, how they work, etc. Since I don't see either of those going away in the next little while, I figure I have two industries that I'd enjoy working in. I just need to take my pick, and if one doesn't pan out, hey, that's okay, I've got something in backup.

I've also grown increasing fretful over my computer. It's something that I use often, and plays a pretty big part of my life (I'm either on the internet researching, reading, or doing work). I've always been torn between running Windows or Linux. Linux has always been what I wanted to really get down. Windows is what I use, and it's the easiest for me to setup and navigate. This caused me to divide up my hard drive so that Linux and Windows both had equal parts. Yet, this always seemed disorganized, and made it hard for me to do work. I'd run out of space for all of the programs that I need on Windows.

So. I decided to organize things, and installed Windows all over my hard drive. Now, when I want to play with Linux, I can use VMWare, which creates a virtual machine. It solves all of my problems.

Another thing that was really hitting me hard, was the fact that I lost a few things. I won't be specific about what they are, I'll just leave it that they were incredibly important to me. So, loosing these things really, just put me down. I mean, to give you an example of how much they mean to me, I almost broke down crying because I lost it. It seems stupid, but it's something that I was attached to for a long time, and it just really meant that much to me.

Yet, now, it seems trivial. Sure, I lost that individual item. Yet, I have things to replace it. While it's true that it's not there to fill that job, something else is. It will take a while to get used to, but I'll eventually have to get used to it. I can't change the fact that I've lost it, so I'm going to have to move on. I was going to have to give it up anyway when I moved away to college or the like, so I was going to have to deal with it sometime. Might as well be now.

Finally, the thing that got to me the most, was the fact that for the past two years, I have left two goals unaccomplished.

I was going to learn how to program. It's always been my dream to program, and to program well. I've loved what little I've been able to do so far, and I've always wanted to learn more. Yet, I've never done it. So, instead of sitting on my ass being depressed about it, I'm going to learn to program.

I've also neglected exercising. So, I'm going to pick that up too. I used to do it fairly religiously, until I left cadets, and I stopped doing it. Now, I'm going to pick it back up. Simple as that.

I feel great. I feel like I could conquer the world.

[Minyaliel]

Argh. Relatives. Sometimes I really envy Adam and Eve (even though they've probably never existed).

[DarkHeartedDemoness]

Originally Posted by Minyaliel

Argh. Relatives. Sometimes I really envy Adam and Eve (even though they've probably never existed).

...but if they did, one of their sons killed the other.

Not quite idyllic, is it?

[Draconysius]

Nice rant, splintered. It held my attention, was neatly typed, and made me feel for you. Now, as for your career path, it is but a mere suggestion, but
you could consider gun design or perhaps first-person-shooter game design, considering your interests.

[Splintered]

I can just see that now.

"We've designed an assault rifle that has an attached 50x scope, laser sighting, GPS, a lockpick set, remote car starter, basic cable, and is compatible with Windows Vista!"

"What kind of bullets does it take?"

"Uh.... Bullets?"

[HumanePain]

Actually the word would be "round" or "cartridge" or even "ammo"; a bullet is the actual lead or metal tip that is launched when the gunpowder explodes in the casing.
A bullet by itself cannot be loaded into a gun. It can be shot from a gun, but not loaded.

And as far as the design goes: if you are designing American firearms, go with .223 or .270, .45 or even .50, if elsewhere, 7.62x39 (Russian SKS, Chinese SKS, AK-47 and other "assault" rifles use this) or 9mm (Glock!). Gaining experience with designing for these rounds will provide plenty of employment opportunities, as there are many manufacturers whose designs use these types. Stay away from the .38 as these are the rounds used by the cheap gun makers of "Saturday Night Specials" favored by criminals. Choose a round that the quality gun makers use, and you will have a long career.

There are three different handgun producers all within 20 miles of my house.

[Splintered]

That was a joke Humane.

I know that the bullet is the actual tip on the end. Also, the cartridge is the part of the munition that holds the bullet in place, a shell is a munition that has an explosive filling, etc.

If I was going to design weapons, I'd design them primarily around the 7.62x51 or 5.56x45, because they're both used by NATO weapons, and seeing as how most assault rifles are covered by those two rounds, it looks like you could make a killing. Either that, or work for FN and make weapons around the 5.7 (If the P90 proves to be successful).

[Godslayer Jillian]

I just got into a major ranting with Cradle (not about him, but I said the rant to him)
It's kind of funny, so I'll post it here:
Jill- remember Poupee Celestia?
Cradle- yeah, why?
Jill- well, I still talk to her and asked her why hasn't she been around. She told me that there was another "gothic" forum where she was... a lot more ignorant to the subculture, but it's in Spanish.
I asked her that if I joined the forum, she would post in Gnet again, so we made the deal.
They're idiots!!
First of all, I made a thread about Specimen. No single fucking response, yet they talk about the new Manson song of This is Halloween of Nightmare Before Christmas, they mostly talk on a thread about the best metal bands, and in the What Are You Listening To thread, there's only black metal. The gothiest it gets is Lacrimosa.
Lacrimosa is awesome, but you have to understand that it is a very famous band in Latin America. There's not much special about liking them as it's more probable you only like them because people say they're gothic, not because you sincerely appreciate their talent.
Then, they have a philosophy section, but let me tell you about some of the threads in there.
"Satanism: humanist philosophy or cult of evil?" They do know what Satanism is, thank god, but that thread keeps going on and on and everyone says the same.
"uhhh.... satanism isn't about worhissping satan, it's about worshipping oneself" yeah, I've read that like fucking thirty times in that thread; no need to repeat it, asshole.
Then there's this new thread called "when you die, where do you want to go?" The options are Heaven, Hell, or Limbo. Only three people have posted there so far:
The author of the thread, whose post only says "heaven hell or limbo?"
The second person said something about the Limbo and then said that he wants to go to hell with the rockers.
And then there's me bitching about how wanting to go to hell is just fucking stupid.
"If you're in Hell, trust me, you won't be thinking that you're 'with the rockers'. Can you really define the rest of your immortal existence because of a style? The shallowness of that can be tasted in the air"
Then there are three sections on Occultism; notice that I said sections, not threads. There's a myriad of threads in each. One of the sections is called "Creatures of the Night". It's basically a score threads on exactly the same: "what creature of the night do you prefer?"
In total there are twenty five section in the forum with hundreds of threads in each, and only on section is about music.
The most visited sections are the Occultism ones.
In my introduction I named each and every one of the bands I listen to, a compilation of traditional gothic bands, progressive rock, and deathrock... many just told me "wow, I have never heard of those bands"
There's a thread that's called My Solitude.
"Who am I... I don't know I only know that I'm a lonely soul because I'm alone for being different..." That's how the fucking thread begins. ¬¬
Oh, and there was a thread on the thing of Pluto... how it's not a planet anymore. One guy said that it would mess up with astrology.
Yes, because astrology is an accurate branch of science...
P.S. Pluto was discovered in 1930! How much damage can it have with astrology?
Oh, wait, here's the best part:
A fucktard found a way to blame Bush on that!!!
And then related that to the "fact" that Bush specifically hates Goths.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Splintered

That was a joke Humane.

I know, I just get excited about that subject, 'tis a hobby of mine.

[emeraldlonewoulf]

Oh wonderful! This is awesome! There are other people here into guns! I think I'll go start a firearms thread.....

[emeraldlonewoulf]

ok, thread started. now to see if we get decent discussion or if i get flamed to death......

[Splintered]

I have an established internet identity. Meaning, I get around, and in my mind, there is a construct of sorts, of "Splintered" (Although, I do have other pseudonyms). I have developed relationships with people I have met online. I genuinely consider certain people that I have met online, to be, what can only be described, as friends.

I genuinely care, about how my actions effect people, who are hundreds, possibly thousands of miles away. I do care if I step on someone's toes online, or how what I do and say does to others. I've got blogs that I continually read, forums that I visit, a myspace page that I update regularly, websites that I frequent, and people that I talk to on IRC, and messaging systems, who I have no other means of contacting.

What if, one day, you wiped the slate clean. Everything. Your close down all of your accounts online. Hotmail, Yahoo, AOL, all of them, closed down. All of your forum accounts are either deleted, or locked with an incredibly long password that you could never brute force. Everything else you use, from MySpace, to blogs, you deleted your accounts, and never visit them again

What would it be like? Would it be like you have lost something, or had a terrible burden lifted?

I know that, later in life, I am going to have to enter a different world then I do now. I won't have as much free time, and I'll most likely be off in a far distant place (I plan to do service work, like the Peace Corps, so I want to visit other countries), where I won't have internet access. My existence, as I know it now, will be completely gone.

So, why keep this one? Why form bonds with people online? Why care? I don't get this. I mean, chances are, in the next year, I might not be at Gothic.net. Let alone maintain something like a MySpace. Even a year after that, the chances get lower. When I go off to college, my chances shrink to an improbable amount. When I leave to go overseas, they get even smaller. The odds eventually stack up against me being able to form any kind of standing relationship with anyone. Especially, when that's online.

Right now, I am relatively free. Even though I am at odds with my parents, they have been kind enough to allow me to focus on my schoolwork now. Meaning, until I reach 16, I should have no other worries, except for my home chores. This is, as stated before, so I don't have to worry about making time for school. I consider myself extremely lucky in this respect.

Yet, to fill up this free time, I use the internet a lot. Ergo, how I can attend forums, and talk to people. This is going to go away soon. Soon, I am going to have to start working. Probably this summer after I complete the year. After that, I am going to be taking filler courses to get my high school degree, so I will have more free time. I'll have to start working, so I can pay for college. I am going to need the money to do so, because I will refuse to remain in debt to long to my parents.

So, now that I am faced with loosing something, that has been a really big part of my life.

What if I left, now? That's my big question. Everyone I know would be sad for a while, but they would get over it. It's as if my existence on here, wouldn't matter. Then why I do remain here? Why do I stay, and keep wasting my time posting? I could have an entirely different life. I could be part of the "In" crowd. I could mindlessly join the masses. Take the blue pill. It seems incredibly odd to me.