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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
09-30-2008, 12:45 AM
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#26
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jaye Jang
Oh, and GM. Do I detect a note of modesty???
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No. If you were paying attention, you'd note that I've only asserted my ability to sleep with a great number of women. Never did I purport that those women were wise in sleeping with me-- not only will I invariably leave them emotionally harrowed, but to experience the best sex they'll ever have so early in their lives is clearly imprudent.
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09-30-2008, 07:07 AM
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#27
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Detroit
Posts: 706
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Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack
Nagging women are the reason men don't live as long.
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You drive us to nag. It's really not that hard to put the seat down on the toliet!
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09-30-2008, 07:48 AM
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#28
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: IN MY MIND
Posts: 879
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It's even easier to leave it up.
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Undead.
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09-30-2008, 12:00 PM
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#29
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 108
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Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
Women are just as stupid as men. If they weren't, I'd be a virgin.
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Agreed.
But you do seem to hear about men doing stupid things more often than women. Unless you get started with the blond jokes, that is.
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09-30-2008, 12:25 PM
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#30
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Cumbria, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,153
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Originally Posted by Jaye Jang
1) A guy who 'didn't know his own strength' and who accidentally yanked his ceiling fan out of the ceiling, and beat himself up with the blades.
5) A guy who -- get this -- swallowed a vibrator on a drunken dare. (Don't even ask me to explain that one).
7) And tonight, a guy who broke his arm while testing a laundry basket for durabiity, by --you guessed it -- riding it down the stairs.
Trust me, the absolutely dumbest thing I have ever seen a female patient do was to be 'attacked' by her blowdryer and thrown backwards into a tub of water.
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Haha, when my mum was working in the infirmary she got a woman in one night, who had an apple stuck up her vagina; and couldn't get it out. They had to reach in and cut it up inside her, then gradually take parts of it out with forceps.
__________________
'The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.' - Salvador Dali
Pie Jesu domine..... Donna eis requiem - *thwack*
'To become truly immortal, a work of art must escape all human limits: logic and common sense will only interfere. But once these barriers are broken, it will enter the realms of childhood visions and dreams.' - Giorgio de Chirico
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09-30-2008, 10:45 PM
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#31
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,274
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GM, I was being facetious. No offense meant, o' great one.
Lis, Try this one on for size. One night I typed a report on a drunken guy who was riding his bicycle and hit a parked car. After the ER doctor bandaged him up and gave him the usual precautions about drinking, and riding a bike drunk, etc., the guy asked -- point blank --"Well, do you think I should really be riding a bike at all, Doc? After all, I'm legally blind."
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10-01-2008, 12:09 AM
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#32
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jaye Jang
GM, I was being facetious.
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Whereas I am unflinchingly sincere.
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10-01-2008, 12:10 AM
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#33
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,274
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GM, you're such a cute little bat.
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10-01-2008, 12:20 AM
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#34
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius
Posts: 1,750
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by AngelikDemonik
You drive us to nag. It's really not that hard to put the seat down on the toliet!
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If it isn't so hard, why don't you fucking do it yourself instead of nagging us to do a menial task?
We find it down and put it up, you find it up and put it down.
Fucking easy.
__________________
Because before too long there'll be nothing left alive, not a creature on the land or sea, a bird in the sky. They'll be shot, harpooned, eaten, and hunted too much, vivisected by the clever men who prove that there's no such things as a fair world with live and let live. The Royal family go hunting, what an example to give to the people they lead and that don't include me, I've seen enough pain and torture of those who can't speak...
- Tough Shit, Mickey by Conflict
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10-01-2008, 06:36 AM
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#35
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland/D.C.
Posts: 611
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lol, I had a male friend in high school, whom upon a drunk dare, inserted a tampax tampton into his anus. Obviously, the anus is very dry compared to a vag, and it got stuck. He had to have it removed at the hospital!
__________________
Hate is never without reason...love is never without treason. - Kovenant
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10-01-2008, 06:49 AM
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#36
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Cyberspace
Posts: 125
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^ A kid at my highschool had the same thing happen though I don't think it went as far as hospital :lol:
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10-01-2008, 07:40 AM
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#37
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack
If it isn't so hard, why don't you fucking do it yourself instead of nagging us to do a menial task?
We find it down and put it up, you find it up and put it down.
Fucking easy.
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Because when we get home after getting piss loaded drunk or waking up in the middle of night and need to urgently pee, we might be too drunk or rushed and blinded by light to see, and fall in the bowl.
Seriously though, the cat might drink out of it. And I fucking hate it when there is pee on the rim of the toilet.
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10-01-2008, 08:53 AM
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#38
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack
If it isn't so hard, why don't you fucking do it yourself instead of nagging us to do a menial task?
We find it down and put it up, you find it up and put it down.
Fucking easy.
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My issue with the seat (and lid) being left up is that the only shelf in the bathroom in above the toilet and I don't want any of my stuff falling into the toilet and seeing as Jake and I both have stuff on that shelf I'm not the only one at risk of accidentally knocking something into the bowl.
As for the original topic all I have to say is that boys+bonfires+beer=bad, I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have lost hair and clothing because they were so sure that they could jump over the fire (hint: when the logs are piled up about three feet high then you aren't going to make it without something getting a little scorched)
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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10-01-2008, 09:12 AM
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#39
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack
If it isn't so hard, why don't you fucking do it yourself instead of nagging us to do a menial task?
We find it down and put it up, you find it up and put it down.
Fucking easy.
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THANK YOU.
I agree completely!
I fucking hate it when women complain about this.
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10-01-2008, 11:14 AM
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#40
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,274
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Quote:
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lol, I had a male friend in high school, whom upon a drunk dare, inserted a tampax tampton into his anus. Obviously, the anus is very dry compared to a vag, and it got stuck. He had to have it removed at the hospital!
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Chelseagirl, That reminds me of something a guy did in the Army. We had this one medic in our unit, who, believe it or not, was so naive he had never seen a tampax before. (He thought they were ammonia capsules!!!). So, he decided to 'wake' up a drunken roomie by waving one under his nose while he was sleeping. He came over the the women's barracks and complained to us that he could not get them to work. When we gently explained to the poor soul what they actually were, he went back to the men's barracks and sfuffed them up his roommate's nose. That not only woke his roommate up, it got 'Mr. Genius' a quick trip to the infirmary, with a busted nose.
Guys. Can't live with them, and can't live with them.
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10-02-2008, 02:10 PM
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#41
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius
Posts: 1,750
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Saya
Because when we get home after getting piss loaded drunk or waking up in the middle of night and need to urgently pee, we might be too drunk or rushed and blinded by light to see, and fall in the bowl.
Seriously though, the cat might drink out of it. And I fucking hate it when there is pee on the rim of the toilet.
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If you don't want the cat to drink out of it, I've got a brilliant suggestion, CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!
__________________
Because before too long there'll be nothing left alive, not a creature on the land or sea, a bird in the sky. They'll be shot, harpooned, eaten, and hunted too much, vivisected by the clever men who prove that there's no such things as a fair world with live and let live. The Royal family go hunting, what an example to give to the people they lead and that don't include me, I've seen enough pain and torture of those who can't speak...
- Tough Shit, Mickey by Conflict
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10-02-2008, 02:14 PM
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#42
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by chelseagirl
lol, I had a male friend in high school, whom upon a drunk dare, inserted a tampax tampton into his anus. Obviously, the anus is very dry compared to a vag, and it got stuck. He had to have it removed at the hospital!
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My friend inserted a tampon in his ass for a dare and it didn't get stuck, your friend must have one crusty ass.
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10-02-2008, 02:15 PM
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#43
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Raxacoricofallapatorius
Posts: 1,750
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There's a mental image I needed while eating lunch, thanks JCC.
__________________
Because before too long there'll be nothing left alive, not a creature on the land or sea, a bird in the sky. They'll be shot, harpooned, eaten, and hunted too much, vivisected by the clever men who prove that there's no such things as a fair world with live and let live. The Royal family go hunting, what an example to give to the people they lead and that don't include me, I've seen enough pain and torture of those who can't speak...
- Tough Shit, Mickey by Conflict
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10-02-2008, 02:17 PM
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#44
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Here to serve. The tampon had shit on it when he showed us, that was off-putting. Oh, he put it in the wrong way first too, so he shoved up the plastic, which was hilarious.
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10-02-2008, 02:18 PM
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#45
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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...is it really that hard to figure out which way to put in a tampon?
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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10-02-2008, 02:22 PM
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#46
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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As males, we're rarely given the talk on how to properly insert a tampon into our vaginas.
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10-02-2008, 02:26 PM
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#47
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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but...but...but...there is a rounded end and a blunt end with a string, who would insert the end with the string first?
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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10-02-2008, 02:28 PM
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#48
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 119
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I was volunteering at the hospital once when this girl came in with a baseball in her ass...
They gave her muscle relaxants so she could get it out... XD
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10-02-2008, 02:29 PM
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#49
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Solumina
but...but...but...there is a rounded end and a blunt end with a string, who would insert the end with the string first?
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It's a guy thing.
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10-02-2008, 02:39 PM
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#50
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JCC
It's a guy thing.
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It's an idiot thing.
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