Privacy

Needlefeet · 06-28-2009, 04:49 AM

It's annoying.
I met someone off of a game, we're really good friends now. I met her a while back (sneakily, without mum knowing, thinking I was out with some other friends) etc etc. She calls me every now and then, talk, webcam. Not the first person I've been half decent friends with via net.
Anyway, today she calls me and then dad walks past as I'm saying bye. He asks who it was, I just reply "don't worry dad, it's none of your concern". EVERY time I'm on the phone to someone, they ask who it was. Even if I'm insistent that it's just a friend, no one they need worry about, they persist to try and get me to tell them who it was.
Tonight both my parents are in another city for business/visiting rellies etc. They called 10 minutes ago and dad decides to end the call with:
"So, who was that girl on the phone you were talking to earlier?"
"JESUS CHRIST DAD! Don't worry!"
"I'm not worrying. A new girl in your life?" (another thing that pisses me off, any female friends are considered a "possibility" to be my next girlfriend.)

Can I not talk to people without privacy?

/End pointless rant

Nightgaunt · 06-28-2009, 06:11 AM

My parents are a lot like that too, but generally looking back at most situations like that its done in more of a joking manner then being overly nosey.

Then again at our age MOST parents rarely know little about their childrens social circles and friends so it is understandable in a way, albeit annoying. If I were in your situation though try doing it to them whenever they get off the phone to anyone, they'll probably realise just how intruding it is too and will probably leave you alone.

Needlefeet · 06-28-2009, 06:46 AM

This doesn't seem like a joking manner. Mum talked to me once telling me that (she demanded a little information about her) I better not be calling people from another state and that I shouldn't be in a relationship with them. Which I told her I sure as hell wasn't.
Trust me, they'd just tell me who it was. Plus they don't call people/receive calls from others that often.

Nightgaunt · 06-28-2009, 07:06 AM

Well, they just seem overly concerned to me...but it's understandable. Just try to make it less of a big deal next time they ask you, and not come across overly defensive.

Onyx · 06-28-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Needlefeet

It's annoying.
I met someone off of a game, we're really good friends now. I met her a while back (sneakily, without mum knowing, thinking I was out with some other friends) etc etc. She calls me every now and then, talk, webcam. Not the first person I've been half decent friends with via net.
Anyway, today she calls me and then dad walks past as I'm saying bye. He asks who it was, I just reply "don't worry dad, it's none of your concern". EVERY time I'm on the phone to someone, they ask who it was. Even if I'm insistent that it's just a friend, no one they need worry about, they persist to try and get me to tell them who it was.
Tonight both my parents are in another city for business/visiting rellies etc. They called 10 minutes ago and dad decides to end the call with:
"So, who was that girl on the phone you were talking to earlier?"
"JESUS CHRIST DAD! Don't worry!"
"I'm not worrying. A new girl in your life?" (another thing that pisses me off, any female friends are considered a "possibility" to be my next girlfriend.)

Can I not talk to people without privacy?

/End pointless rant

Get used to it because it isn't just a parent thing. People think who you were just talking to on the phone is a good subject for small talk. They're probably not trying to be nosey, just interested in what's going on in your life and trying to be social.

Needlefeet · 06-28-2009, 08:35 AM

Haha, my parents have far better things that they could use as conversation starters. Like I've said, this isn't the first time it's happened, it's a constant thing. As if they were being... (Oh my God) nosey!

CrimsonPythonidae · 06-28-2009, 08:42 AM

I'd probably get a bit irritated if I was always being questioned like that. In fact I know I would. I share information with people if it's worth sharing, if not then it either wasn't that interesting a conversation or it's none of their business.
If your parents are paying your phonebill though there's probably not a lot you can do about it. Especially if they think you're calling people long distance.
May I ask, how old are you? You don't have to say, it's purely to satisfy my own curiosity. . . Did I read somewhere in another post you were soon turning eighteen?

Nightgaunt · 06-28-2009, 08:56 AM

I think hes turning...15?

SiouxsiePernova · 06-28-2009, 08:59 AM

Just humour them and satisfy their curiosity every so often.

dabbadmc · 06-28-2009, 09:14 AM

Haha, I get this too. It's a mixture of their concern and extreme nosiness.
>.>

Onyx · 06-28-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SiouxsiePernova

Just humour them and satisfy their curiosity every so often.

Very good advice. The more you resist telling them things the more they're going to think you're trying to hide something.

Needlefeet · 06-29-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrimsonPythonidae

May I ask, how old are you? You don't have to say, it's purely to satisfy my own curiosity. . . Did I read somewhere in another post you were soon turning eighteen?

Nope, not 18. 14.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nightgaunt

I think hes turning...15?

July 10.

It's not really any of their business who I'm talking to. I'm fairly sure they believe that I'm not into drugs and rarely go out so I don't drink with friends. I prefer talking via a phone to most people, real life is better with a certain few. My parents know that I don't want many friends.
How would I humour them? Tell them that, yes indeed, I was talking to a stranger from the internet via phone and receiving calls more often than not?

Corpsey · 06-29-2009, 01:44 AM

You could look at it from another perspective:

At least they give a damn about who you talk to versus being unattentive to what you behaviour is.

Good parents will always be worried about who you assosiate yourself with and always ask about new "girls" you happen to meet. I'm 21 and my mother does it every time she talks to me.

That's a sign of a good parent, showing some concern.

Onyx · 06-29-2009, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Needlefeet

Nope, not 18. 14.

July 10.

It's not really any of their business who I'm talking to. I'm fairly sure they believe that I'm not into drugs and rarely go out so I don't drink with friends. I prefer talking via a phone to most people, real life is better with a certain few. My parents know that I don't want many friends.
How would I humour them? Tell them that, yes indeed, I was talking to a stranger from the internet via phone and receiving calls more often than not?

I don't know your family situation enough to know if this would work. You could just nonchalantly reply you were talking to "some girl". You have to realise that, at your age, your parents are going to have a natural tendency to feel like they're starting to not know you any more. You're coming into your own and probably changing really fast. They can't keep up with you any more. Try throwing them a bone every now and then. Offer up some piece of information, like something interesting or funny that happened at school, without them having to ask you what's been going on. It may make them feel better because they'll feel like they're connecting and knowing what's going on in your life and, if so, you'll feel better because they'll stop prying so much.

Needlefeet · 06-29-2009, 02:05 AM

Haha, if that were true I wouldn't have started this.
I let them know what goes on in my life quite often.

... Wait... That's probably why. Me not telling them all of a sudden increases curiosity. Damnit.

Darcnyss · 06-29-2009, 09:43 AM

Well, to me it just seems that they're merely trying to take an interest in your life, though the way you answer them by saying things like "don't worry dad, it's none of your concern" might just have the effect of making them even more curious and concerned.
To be honest, if my child were to say something like that to me, I'd feel that something fishy is going on...

Solumina · 06-29-2009, 07:31 PM

Just give them a name and if they ask who that is just say it is someone they haven't met. My mother was the same way and for a while it caused a lot of tension between us but it was just because she was trying to keep my social network straight in her head.

Underwater Ophelia · 06-30-2009, 04:54 AM

You're really a spoiled punk ass kid.

Your dad wasn't harassing you, he's just interested in your life, which is what he should be.
What's more, so long as you're living in their house, you don't have the right to privacy.

Disaffected Shoelaces · 06-30-2009, 09:05 AM

It sounds like they're just trying to stay involved in your life - I'm guessing you're at the age where you're getting one that they aren't involved in. As long as they're not being knob jockeys and trying to stop you from HAVING a life, get over it - it's annoying but not a big deal.

Er, Ophelia, I could be misreading you but every time I come here I see posts from you suggesting that you think children are basically the property of their parents and have no rights at all. EVERYONE has the right to some level of privacy, surely?

Underwater Ophelia · 06-30-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disaffected Shoelaces

It sounds like they're just trying to stay involved in your life - I'm guessing you're at the age where you're getting one that they aren't involved in. As long as they're not being knob jockeys and trying to stop you from HAVING a life, get over it - it's annoying but not a big deal.

Er, Ophelia, I could be misreading you but every time I come here I see posts from you suggesting that you think children are basically the property of their parents and have no rights at all. EVERYONE has the right to some level of privacy, surely?

Children have the right to sexual privacy, and sexual privacy doesn't mean phone calls with girls, it means they have the right not to be molested.

I'm not going to comment on how I feel it should or shouldn't be, but that's how it is, at least in this country.

Needlefeet · 06-30-2009, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

You're really a spoiled punk ass kid.

Your dad wasn't harassing you, he's just interested in your life, which is what he should be.
What's more, so long as you're living in their house, you don't have the right to privacy.

I didn't say he was harassing me, I said he wouldn't drop it.
I love my parents, they do shitloads for me and I'm grateful for that. I would be considered spoiled to some, not to others.
My parents are usually awesome with almost everything.
I'm not one of those people who tell everyone their parents are complete dicks and I hate them etc etc.
My parents are interested in my life, that's true and I do let them be a rather large part of it. I tell them what kind of stuff I like, I prefer to be honest with what I'm doing, which is why, now that I've all of a sudden been talking to strangers over the phone, they are probably more curious.
It's true they have the right to know who it is, seeings they pay the bills, but I'm fairly sure they wouldn't see it from my point of view.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 07-01-2009, 04:29 AM

You can't say your parents intrude on your privacy until the burst into the study with dinner without knocking or any warning and catch you jacking off and are determined to 'talk about it' while your pants are still down and just stand there staring at you half naked, with your plate full of curry still in their hand, while scream at them to get out. Then they leave, taking your dinner with them.

Now that's intrusion!

My mum started knocking, stopped asking and assuming when I hit 16, and the same occurred for most of my friends, so hang in there kitty cat!

I wonder if NightGaunt talks to his parents about me, ahahaha, now that's worrying!

Needlefeet · 07-01-2009, 05:03 PM

0.0 What's going on there!? haha

Did that, per chance, happen to you SCC?
I'm too sly to have that happen... And they're at work for a fair whack of time. ;D

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 07-01-2009, 06:02 PM

Nothing, no really there isn't xD

O-of course, it didn't! >_<

Needlefeet · 07-01-2009, 11:46 PM

I know if you're lying to me boy.
That would have been hilarious by the way.