On Being Female

Miss_Hazie_Lane · 02-09-2007, 04:27 PM

Now, I'm not a rabid femanist (Yes I am a femanist, as in I don't think it's ok for male's to **** me, and believe I have uses beyond sex and baby making...) but I have one issue that I really need to whine about, and that issue is men hitting on me. The thing is I like being hit on, almost all of the time, but sometimes I take issue, mostly when the persons first statement is "i'd lyke to fuck your *word for cat* with my *word for male chicken*" I mean for god's sake, do you actually expect to get laid with that line? I perfer an open come on, because hey if it's just sex it's just sex, and I'd perfer not to be lied to about it, and it's not like anyone needs to lie to get in my pants, but really, is it too much effort to ask for correct spelling, and grammar, and a phrase that sounds less completely awful. I mean what's so wrong with "You're hot, let's fuck." And it's never interesting guys either, it's alwats the bottom of the barrel one's that live really far away, I mean do you really seriously believe that I will travel anything over five minutes to have sex with an ugly fat guy with bad hair? I could walk to a bar for that, what makes you so special? Basically, I'm sick of two things about being hit on A: Being hit on constantly by men I could never possibley find appealing, I mean let's be honest if you're old enough to be my father, wear nascar caps, and drink Budweiser, there is absolutely no chance that I'm going to do you, how is that so difficult to understand, are men like this blind? Do they have no preception of my being far far too cool for them? B: I'm sick of weirdos hitting on me, I mean hard core subs, piss fetishists, and anyone with an amputation fetish. You know what, you're not worthy of licking my boot, that's completely true, however you're also not worthy of the five seconds I take to read you're fucking myspace comment, if I'm so much better than you stop wasting the time I could be spending more productively eating mud, seriously, be dominated by me by keeping your fucking mouth shut.
If you're not scared of me yet here are a few tips on actually getting laid:
1. Personal grooming, you may be male, but for christ's sake you're not allowed to be fat, and greasy and have pit stains and still expect any half way decent looking girl to sleep with you.
2. Cleverness, be witty, be origional, in my case be really fucking weird, and have a dark sense of humor, maybe comment on my taste in music instead of my ass (not that my ass is unworthy of comment, but god it's been done before)
3. Location, like with realestate, it's important, I'm probably not going to have the time or money for plane tickets so I can get laid, I mean honestly
4. Know the meaning of the word lesbian... it'll tell you when you need to fuck off.
5. Lesbians are not interested in letting you watch, when you ask to watch you reveal that you are an obnoxious, egotistical fuck head, and then we really don't want to let you watch.
6. Bi chicks probably also don't want to let you watch. Unless you'll let us watch you fuck another guy
7. Let me watch you fuck another guy and be reasonably cute and I will travel any distance to fuck you

Anyway, I've started telling people like that I'm an MTF, it works even better than the herpes excuse, and I hope they can't get off for a year thinking about i

Tha Duckman · 02-09-2007, 04:45 PM

Would it make you feel better if some one asked "I would like to insert my penis inside your vagina."?

Seriously, though, you better start liking it soon, lady, because I haven't been hit on in over four freakin' years and my word for a male chicken is starting to get pissed off with the lack of cats it's getting. You're lucky, toots. Don't take it for granted, because one day it could just disappear.

Circle V · 02-09-2007, 04:56 PM

Feminist is to chauvinist as *word for cat* is to *word for male chicken*.

Miss_Hazie_Lane · 02-09-2007, 05:06 PM

I do like it, I usually accept being hit on, and flirt back, and I don't mind the word cock, I was unsure if it would censor it. I like sex, but when people hit on me in a way that seems more for the sake of hitting on me, than for sex, it seems annoying and pointless

killer_asian_Dax · 02-09-2007, 05:54 PM

To each their own.

OCD Insomnia · 02-09-2007, 06:00 PM

Don't like guys in this world? Go find a new world.

HumanePain · 02-09-2007, 06:49 PM

A good rant Miss Hazie. A burden the beautiful must bear.
But I must say: the guys you describe make me look good by comparison!

Miss_Hazie_Lane · 02-09-2007, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OCD Insomnia

Don't like guys in this world? Go find a new world.

Nah, I've found the perfect solution, I like women hehe, actually I like both, I just don't like some of the guys in this world (trust me it's a small percentage) though I have a policy of never sleeping with christians, republicans, or accountants

HumanePain · 02-09-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss_Hazie_Lane

though I have a policy of never sleeping with christians, republicans, or accountants

Haha, this evoked a chuckle from me, I don't know why, but I found it instantly funny!

Encaitare · 02-10-2007, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss_Hazie_Lane

Nah, I've found the perfect solution, I like women hehe, actually I like both, I just don't like some of the guys in this world (trust me it's a small percentage) though I have a policy of never sleeping with christians, republicans, or accountants

Hahaha... awesome policy. XD

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 02-10-2007, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss_Hazie_Lane

Nah, I've found the perfect solution, I like women hehe, actually I like both, I just don't like some of the guys in this world (trust me it's a small percentage) though I have a policy of never sleeping with christians, republicans, or accountants

I like both, I just happen to trust women more in a relationship but as for friendships I like guys more. I tend to associate with gay men more though. No chance of them hitting on me. I like getting hit on too, but I have one guy who's like you described, makes me sick. I hate it as well. Ignore them, and come up with some witty remark....like "Sure why not, except I don't want herpes, oh wait I couldn't get that from you, I don't think you could have ever gotten a lady with that line." Or something better, I think that was lame, but you know what I mean.

Miss_Hazie_Lane · 02-10-2007, 04:12 PM

hehe, I've gotten hit on by a gay man... I think he thought I was actually an MTF... which was odd as I was't even going through my dragqueen phase

LaKeesha · 02-10-2007, 04:21 PM

1. Personal grooming, you may be male, but for christ's sake you're not allowed to be fat, and greasy and have pit stains and still expect any half way decent looking girl to sleep with you.~~~~~~~~~

THANK YOU!

Men....
(May I say this without offending any of you?)
PLEASE remember this one even AFTER you're married to her.

I told him in no uncertain terms to get that stinkin' BEER GUT OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Also, (ok, I sense some men getting mad at me.... like THAT is not the norm!)

Being in your 30's is too young to have that crap and NO, it's not allowed in my house. Your wife is not going to like you coming down with heart disease, high blood pressure, etc. old men problems.
(SHHHHH! Don't tell my husband I said that because I am a smoker! Oops!!!)

HAH. At least he listens to me on THAT one.

Other issues..... uh.... nope.

HumanePain · 02-10-2007, 04:40 PM

I can't stand the smell of beer. The only time there is beer in my house is when friends come over to watch the Superbowl, or my sister-in-law visits.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 02-10-2007, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss_Hazie_Lane

hehe, I've gotten hit on by a gay man... I think he thought I was actually an MTF... which was odd as I was't even going through my dragqueen phase

I once hit on a gay man.

He's my friend. I was hitting on him and then asked "Is it sad to hit on a gay man when you know he's gay???"

He said "Not really."

*Laughs*

JCC · 02-11-2007, 05:38 AM

The only thing I didn't like is when you went on about people with fetishes.

People can't help if they have a fetish. It doesn't make them weird, it's something that's in their mind and means they like different sex. You might not want to be involved with anyone with those fetishes, but there's no need to talk of them in such a negative manner, it's really in the same area as homosexuality or being bisexual.

Miss_Hazie_Lane · 02-11-2007, 11:19 PM

I understand about fetishists, I'm actually a kink myself, however I don't go around propositioning underage girls on the internet trying to get them to indulge in my weird wetdreams. I mean I have a relatively extreame body mod fetish (and trust me this is one of my more normal kinks), but unless I know someone shares it, I don't bother anyone about it, and even if I do mention it to someone, if they're not into it too, I don't bring it up again. It's the same with being homosexual, someone's not a dyke, I leave them alone, it's commen curtosy. What I object to is not their requests, but their persistance, I mean fine, ask me to pee on you once, but for christ's sake, after the 18th time I've told someone "Not my thing, fuck off" it gets annoying.

Valerius · 02-12-2007, 01:20 AM

Some people are just dense. But I bet you already know that. There are just some people out there where they won't get a clear message until you nail it on a note onto their forehead. Even then there are worse!

Speaking of homosexuals, I was at this parlor place to have a haircut. Before they cut your hair they shampoo and rinse it, and I had the luck of having my hair being shampood by a gay man. Fine, all well and good. I don't mind gay people, but when he asked me if it felt ticklish in this very suggestive voice I made a note to myself to never come back there again. And I never did. End of pseudo-rant.

Anyway, back to case. Try wearing a sign around your neck that says you do not like the following, and it lists down what you don't like. OR you can just ignore the person pushing your buttons and walk away.

LaKeesha · 02-12-2007, 09:20 AM

OR you can just ignore the person pushing your buttons and walk away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would not know, ain't nobody "pushed my buttons" in over a decade!

Ha ha ha!!!

Puppet Master · 02-23-2007, 10:04 AM

Meh I am slim and always well groomed, and polite, and I never get hit on by girls or guys =P

I hate being male =P

Then again I live in a middle of nowhere village, and my university has a very low amount of people in the alt scene.

But though I am a tad jealous, I can understand how such quotes can be a source of much rage.

Shyantra · 02-23-2007, 10:26 AM

I understand what Miss_Hazie_Lane is talking about. Except mine gets to the point where I just block them or I will delete them from whatever it is on.

But I mean come on! Don't you guys have better lines than that???

Panther · 02-25-2007, 05:46 AM

I don't get hit on much, being homely. But the guys who do seem to like me don't fuck off easy.

I had a manager at McDonalds back when I worked there hit on me. A married manager, who worked part of the same shift as me.

A couple of them were cooler than that, but most of the time I was taken, so nothing came of it.

But yeah, after turning them down once, it's always awkward, especially if they're persistent.

These days if a guy asked to put his chicken into my kitty, I'd probably accept, if he didn't seem overly creepy.

Lucretia_my_Reflection · 02-25-2007, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puppet Master

Meh I am slim and always well groomed, and polite, and I never get hit on by girls or guys =P

I hate being male =P

Then again I live in a middle of nowhere village, and my university has a very low amount of people in the alt scene.

But though I am a tad jealous, I can understand how such quotes can be a source of much rage.

i can change that :P

LaKeesha · 02-26-2007, 04:08 AM

[quote=Panther:

I don't get hit on much, being homely. But the guys who do seem to like me don't fuck off easy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[COLOR=Blue]Hey, I ain't so hot anymore myself at 40 years old. (Ain't nobody give a damn now anyways 'cept my husband but so what?)

BUT..... as they say in Georgia (NO! I am not from there but I lived there, "I USTA-COULD!" He he. (Besides, most people who think they're "homely" are just imagining it.[/color]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a manager at McDonalds back when I worked there hit on me. A married manager, who worked part of the same shift as me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now that's just scuzzy! I HATE when they do that. It is just TACKY.

xmorpheus · 02-26-2007, 05:08 AM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm getting the impression that most - if not all - of these approaches are via the internet? Ok I'll put my hands up to being an old trout who doesn't get out much these days, but I don't remember EVER being approached by a guy face to face with any of THOSE lines. Not even when I used to go to naughty places for naughty girls and boys.

That's the kind of line you generally only get when someone is far enough away from you to avoid getting a slap i.e. via computer.

If that is where it's coming from, then in all likelihood the problem is precisely that it's so IMpersonal. If the communication is impersonal, then it's much easier to behave in a way that you would never do in a normal social setting.

The kind of gimboid who's going to be persistent is one that is confusing a healthy attitude to sexuality with someone who is asking to be objectified - effectively in their mind becoming a blow up doll who should only respond with pre-programmed responses. Women do this as well - but instead of sexually objectifying, they tend to romanticise instead. So for a certain type of man, the profile of every woman reads "free sex play toy - must do it with everyone - especially you". For a woman, the profile of every man reads "handsome brooding Heathcliff type just waiting to sweep you off your feet".

The persistance isn't difficult to understand. Any response - even a negative one - is perceived as communication and therefore desirable. If you answer them - even if the answer is "please fuck off and die" - it's still a response. Look on them like troubled children - any response, even a negative one, is still a response.

IME the only effective way to get rid of someone like that is to ignore them completely - no matter how tempting telling them to fuck off might be.

To be honest, as long as you have a profile on the internet, you're going to get idiots who think they're the answer to your prayers. Do an experiment. Set up a male alterego with similar prefs and a personable photo. The responses you get from women may be slightly less blatent, but I'd be willing to lay a bet that they'll be equally persistent and quite possibly just as unattractive.

The mentality isn't gender specific - just the initial approach.