Auto-fellatio

tiberius · 12-16-2003, 04:22 PM

Has anyone here ever tried (guys or girls) or has, given themself fellatio, I admit, I did once, but then my chiropractor said if I tried it again It could seriously injur my spinal cord, but I know this. If I could do it again I WOULD!

fallenangel666 · 12-16-2003, 05:48 PM

what the hell is fallatio? i know a guy who actually can do it himself. and for us girls, i dont think that is humanly possible! :cry:

.BatteryPoison. · 12-16-2003, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fallenangel666

what the hell is fallatio?

To put it into rather crude terms: The sucking of a cock.

tiberius · 12-16-2003, 06:08 PM

Actually felatio is the use of the mouth on genitals, not just the sucking of a dick. So yes, girls can do it and i know a few who can, but they have taken yoga and had ribs removed to do it, which is a little extreme just to get an orgasm.

tiberius · 12-16-2003, 06:27 PM

Thank you eyesoftragedy. I must have a stupid dictionary. But either way, its using the mouth on the genital organs, cunnilingus. or fellatio. But anyways. BAH

pitseleh · 12-16-2003, 06:58 PM

I think you'd better keep practicing, tib. Ain't gonna find
no one else to do it for you. Screw your chiropractor's
advice, he's not a real doctor anyway. Remove your
ribcage while you're at it, so you can curl up more easily.

Sucking your own cock is a level of narcissism I'd rather not
be at. What if a vampire were to suck blood from his own cock?
It just wouldn't look right.

tiberius · 12-17-2003, 09:13 AM

LOL. I was considering that but i was wondering 2 things.

1. Will they actually remove some of my ribs for me so I can do that?

2. Does it even work?.....

Feydreiva_Oxymore · 12-17-2003, 09:55 AM

...who could put both her feet behind her head. If she'd had had a longer tongue or had been a man, she could have pleasure herself that way.
But she hasn't got a long tongue nor is she a man, so she doesnt.

Cross · 12-17-2003, 02:51 PM

That would be kinda cool, but I rather someone else doing it for me...

bexxle · 12-17-2003, 06:46 PM

Out of anyone I know, I'm the closest to actually being able to give cunnilingus to myself. It's all in the back. Haven't ever gone that far.

You know whatever you can do to yourself doesn't replace doing it to someone else. As you know it has been a long time for me. Sucking on my Arizona Ice Tea bottle would be fun. I won't, but well the opposite sex is nice sometimes.

Daz · 12-17-2003, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TStone

Quote:

Originally Posted by TStone

You heard somewhere that by removing a few ribs it would be possible to suck your own dick. You thought long and hard on this, and came to the conclusion that if it were true then the opposite must also be possible…and went to the doctor and asked to have your spine taken out so you could suck your own ass.

You spineless ass sucker.

You know Tib, I had you in mind when I came up with that one for the insults thread, funny how you just walked into the staring role with no help from me.

Life is so fucking righteous.

Happy puckering my self-sucking friend.

hurray for cosmic-karma :twisted:

tiberius · 12-17-2003, 07:06 PM

First of all. Does that mean that you can perform cunnilingus on yourself?

Secondly. I would pay to see a girl do that for the fun of it.

Now, would someone answer me please? can they remove ribs to make the genitals more accesable? and Do they for money?.....

Daz · 12-17-2003, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiberius

First of all. Does that mean that you can perform cunnilingus on yourself?

Secondly. I would pay to see a girl do that for the fun of it.

Now, would someone answer me please? can they remove ribs to make the genitals more accesable? and Do they for money?.....

its cosmetic surgery, if you have the money im pretty sure they'll do it

pitseleh · 12-17-2003, 07:15 PM

You know, tibby, black market surgeons could probably
do you in exchange for some organs. It's a win-win situation.
Once you're under, they can fish out your kidneys and you
won't even notice! And you can have a barbeque after.
Mmmm... ribs.

tiberius · 12-17-2003, 07:20 PM

Ok. Im not going to the black market, fuck dat. And how much do you think it would cost for the cosmetic surgery, and. Would it actually help me curl up easier? Jesus, I am messed up...

bexxle · 12-17-2003, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiberius

First of all. Does that mean that you can perform cunnilingus on yourself?

Secondly. I would pay to see a girl do that for the fun of it.

Now, would someone answer me please? can they remove ribs to make the genitals more accesable? and Do they for money?.....

All you need to do is work on your flexability. You might be to old now. Start with touching your toes, then touching your head (on top of your shoulders) to you knees. Then lay on your back and work you knees down to touching the floor above your shoulders. Almost there, flex you kneck up (might be a strain). There you go. You're doing yourself.

~ sigh ~

Oh well. It's not reall spineless, just flexable.

Gothic_Minstrel · 12-17-2003, 07:26 PM

Well, Tib, considering you basicly gave your answer to your question back in your 2nd or 3rd post in this thread....too lazy to quote....but why dont you try yoga?
and about those ribs, you can always just get high somewhere and have sum1 break them for a couple bucks, im sure they wont mind, especially with a sledgehammer handy....
have fun :twisted:

tiberius · 12-18-2003, 01:34 PM

Bexxle, I already tried that and my chiropracter said if I tried it again it could kill me, im going for the ribs removal, and breaking them? HELL NO

Takhisis · 12-18-2003, 02:26 PM

Some surgeons will do it, for around 5,000 - 10,000 dollars (not including costs for the hospital stay, anasthesia, supplies, etc.) Then you'll have a few months of healing during which time you could've practiced and become flexible enough without the surgery anyway.

Oh yeah, and it makes you more vulnerable to internal organ damage, leaves quite a bit of scarring, and the floating ribs aparrently have a chance of growing back.

Then there's the fact that it won't do anything for the flexibility of your spine, which is the factor your doctor warned you about, yes? So you still wouldn't be able to.

secretboy · 12-18-2003, 03:57 PM

Yes, hell yes.

Man, if I could suck my own dick I'd probably wanna do it all the time. It'd be great. Blow blow blow. Ooh yeah.

But then, you know, I'd probably get really insecure about it, like, jeez, don't I like me for something besides sex? Then I'd get into all these passive-aggressive arguments about sex, then I'm spending all the time obsessing over whether I secretly think I'm fat.

Or, you know, with my luck I'd demand a dinner and maybe a movie beforehand. Or you know, flowers. What the hell I'd do with flowers, I don't know. Pretty soon I'd get all resentful about myself or something stupid, constantly picking fights over something lame. Then I'm not talking to myself, and it's awkward, because I'm around myself all the time, I mean, you can't ever really get away from yourself. So there you are, 24/7 around yourself and you have these huge issues and no one wants to talk about anything because it'll just get ugly or something.

Then one day I'd probably wake up in bed and there I am, and the horror of it all is, every day for the rest of my life I'll be waking up in bed with me, and there's no getting around that and...oh god.

No. Hell no. You couldn't fucking pay me.

tiberius · 12-18-2003, 04:58 PM

Ok...? Secret boy you have some self issues, Just because I want to suck my own dick doesnt mean im going to become a fucking flamer (the other kind not on the net, der).

I just want to find a more fun way than using my hand. Its getting old, this hand of mine...

Daz · 12-18-2003, 05:19 PM

if you could suck your own dick... would't that mean you'd have your nose in your ass?

secretboy · 12-18-2003, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiberius

Ok...? Secret boy you have some self issues, Just because I want to suck my own dick doesnt mean im going to become a fucking flamer (the other kind not on the net, der).

I just want to find a more fun way than using my hand. Its getting old, this hand of mine...

And if you were going to become a 'fucking flamer', would that be some kind of problem?

Sigh. Talk about issues. Jeez.

.BatteryPoison. · 12-18-2003, 05:42 PM

I didn't notice until now, but this thread really isn't all that much about whining (aside from tiberius not being able to suck his own penis). More of a discussion on how it can be done/who does it and why.

Moved to General.

Hunter · 12-18-2003, 06:16 PM

I don't know sucking yourself off just seems kinda bizarre.... I mean do you really want your own jizz in your mouth? Hell do you it in your mouth to beging with... I have one piece of advice for you, find a girl... if you can't get one normally I'm sure there are less than wholesome places you could go if you want to get sucked off.