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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
09-17-2011, 08:42 AM
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#4126
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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'Vampyres' are so fucking stupid....
Last night I was talking on the phone with a good friend who lives in California. He has to smoke away from his building because his neighbors are fucking stupid. So, we're talking, he's in the park by a lake and I hear this voice aproaching proclaiming "I'm a vampyre!" We both sigh and before he can move away fast enough Miss Vampyre The Dumbening is offering to bite my friend and prove she's really a vampyre. He offers to stake her instead. Suddenly, I hear this idiot's voice in my ear("Hi! I'm totally a vampyre!") and I lose it. I'm generally a nice person. I actually do like people. I just don't put up with stupid people who have no idea what boundaries are. You don't walk up to random people offering to bite them and you damn sure don't steal shit from MY friends. So I go ballistic on her, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, BITCH? GET THE HELL OFF OF MY PHONE YOU BRAINLESS CUNT!!!WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU IDIOT LITTLE TWAT???" Next thing I hear is Vampy gasping saying 'oh my god' in a little voice and my friend in the background saying "Yeah, I warned you not to do that..." After she leaves we laugh and carry on our conversation about how stupid vampyres are.
Vampyres are obviously also easily intimidated by pissed off mortals who think they suck. Seriously? The fuck! What is wrong with people? What kind of moron runs around a park at night offering to bite men they don't even know and stealing their bluetooth? People need to learn when to back the fuck up and that they aren't soooooo special that everyone wants to talk to their stupid asses.
Any of you have bill collectors you want to give me the number to? Guarantee they'll never call you back. 
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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09-17-2011, 09:02 AM
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#4127
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "Historic" River City
Posts: 327
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
After she leaves we laugh and carry on our conversation about how stupid vampyres are.
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One more reason why zombies are so much cooler than vampyres. Besides not sparkling, they would also never steal your bluetooth.
__________________
~ I prefer a head-on fight to all this sneaking around.
Zombie Protest:
"What do we want?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
"When do we want it?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
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09-17-2011, 09:06 AM
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#4128
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spooky Spencer
One more reason why zombies are so much cooler than vampyres. Besides not sparkling, they would also never steal your bluetooth.
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Ha! I'm not falling for that one! They roll up on you with the 'I won't steal your bluetooth' line, then go straight for the brain!
*I'm onto you*
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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09-17-2011, 09:09 AM
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#4129
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "Historic" River City
Posts: 327
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Curses...! Foiled again!
Er, I mean, uh.... "braaaaaaaaains..."
__________________
~ I prefer a head-on fight to all this sneaking around.
Zombie Protest:
"What do we want?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
"When do we want it?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
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09-18-2011, 06:17 AM
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#4130
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
Vampyres are obviously also easily intimidated by pissed off mortals who think they suck.
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Don't all mortals think they suck? I mean they do suck ... literally. Or at least they would ... IF THEY WERE REAL!!!
I'm quite amused by your "in-her-ear" rant. 
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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09-18-2011, 06:32 AM
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#4131
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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It's only the second time something like that has happened. I don't like being an asshole, but I don't sit around quietly while people disrespect my friends.
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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09-18-2011, 08:44 AM
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#4132
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "Historic" River City
Posts: 327
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
It's only the second time something like that has happened.
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What happen the first time? Vampyres broke into his house, made a bunch of long distance phone calls, and ordered adult PPVs?
Tell...!
__________________
~ I prefer a head-on fight to all this sneaking around.
Zombie Protest:
"What do we want?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
"When do we want it?" "Braaaaaaaaaaains...!"
Last edited by Spooky Spencer; 09-18-2011 at 08:45 AM.
Reason: Added a necessary Oxford comma.
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09-18-2011, 01:51 PM
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#4133
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Okay so things are actually working out reasonably well this time and Jake is all set to go up to Richmond (I just got back from dropping him off with the recruiter) and will process in the morning.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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09-18-2011, 02:35 PM
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#4134
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spooky Spencer
What happen the first time? Vampyres broke into his house, made a bunch of long distance phone calls, and ordered adult PPVs?
Tell...!
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No, the first time I tore some random person a new asshole over the phone was one night after work a few years ago. I got a call from my best friend's number and it's some random guy on the other end....and he's drunk(like MVTD). Of course my first question is "Why the fuck are you calling me on my friend's phone and where the fuck is she?" I lay into him for a bit about how drunken fucktards shouldn't be grabbing people's phones and just dialing the people in their top 5 list. He was calling me a bitch and wouldn't tell me why he had her phone, so I called her husband told him the location she had told me she was going to be at that night and told him to go sort the dude out.
Unfortunately, there was no uppercut delivered to the idiot. He was one of my friend's co-workers who had drunkenly grabbed her phone while she was onstage singing karoake, saw my pic and thought I was worth drunk dialing and that I would want to talk to him for some stupid reason. My friend called me about 15 minutes later explaining the whole thing to me. Apparently the guy thought I was cute and wanted to chat with me. Little did he know that Honey Badger don't care.... 
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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09-18-2011, 07:52 PM
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#4135
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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My bestie bought me almost 2kg of American jellybeans... I'd hate her if I could, but she's totally fabulous, so I can't.
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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09-18-2011, 08:41 PM
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#4136
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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Wooo! I love tea. You know, I've written a couple more blog articles. Yep, covering the wild times of youth going out clubbing. I am almost of certain resolve that I will go to the club next fetish night on the 24th.
It is weird. I know I need to go out and do more, yet there is an underlying fear of getting sucked back into partying all the time. However, that is ridiculous. I really need to get out and look for a date and do other normal kinds of things. Remembering all this stuff, it really was not too bad, yet there are some leanings towards the raunchier side of club life, still lingering in the back of my mind.
__________________
I Like Cheese!
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09-18-2011, 08:52 PM
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#4137
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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I couldn't decide what to fix for dinner so I just had some tea and Jammy Dodgers, perhaps this was not the wisest of decisions.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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09-18-2011, 09:22 PM
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#4138
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: under the kitchen sink
Posts: 386
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I got really hot when I saw Janet Scott fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
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09-19-2011, 06:20 AM
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#4139
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina
I couldn't decide what to fix for dinner so I just had some tea and Jammy Dodgers, perhaps this was not the wisest of decisions.
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Haha, I've been doing this a lot lately. All I had to eat yesterday was tostitos and hummus because I was talking to Versus, then after he had to go to bed I thought "I'll have a nap!" and I slept right on until this morning. Whoops.
Think I'm going to skip off today. Haven't been feeling well and I think its because between work and school I'm not eating enough.
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09-19-2011, 07:31 AM
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#4140
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Jake is all good and qualified now he just has to go to the classifier (which I'm guessing is the person who tells him what jobs he is qualified for and such but I don't really have a lot of info to go on).
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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09-23-2011, 04:19 AM
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#4141
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 4,036
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__________________
"I've an idea. Why don't we play a little game. Let's pretend that we're human beings, and that we're actually alive. Just for a while. What do you say? Let's pretend we're human. Oh, brother, it's such a long time since I was with anyone who got enthusiastic about anything."
― Jack Osborne
add me on
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09-26-2011, 12:37 PM
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#4142
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: under the kitchen sink
Posts: 386
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A friend's ex-girlfriend offered to snort cocaine off my dick then blow me.
Not sure if I should take her up on said offer....
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09-26-2011, 02:25 PM
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#4143
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: under the kitchen sink
Posts: 386
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I actually would enjoy some advice on the above.
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09-26-2011, 03:13 PM
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#4144
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the broken temple bells, in the ringing...
Posts: 5,979
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ARRGH! Geo it's killed my eyes! *squints*
I'm afraid I have no experience of the above Mr D. I suppose the few questions would be, how much would you enjoy it, why does she have to get off her face on coke in the first place, does your friend know of this offer and do you care either way?
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09-26-2011, 07:35 PM
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#4145
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Doobie
A friend's ex-girlfriend offered to snort cocaine off my dick then blow me.
Not sure if I should take her up on said offer....
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Coke numbs...you'd be going all night. I'd be surprised if she could get you off.
ETA~ I say go for it. You only live once.
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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09-26-2011, 11:09 PM
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#4146
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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Well I did it. I went to the club and danced and had fun.
__________________
I Like Cheese!
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09-26-2011, 11:40 PM
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#4147
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
Coke numbs...you'd be going all night. I'd be surprised if she could get you off.
ETA~ I say go for it. You only live once.
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I agree. That's not something you get offered every day.
...or is it?
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
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09-27-2011, 10:50 AM
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#4148
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: under the kitchen sink
Posts: 386
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
Coke numbs...you'd be going all night. I'd be surprised if she could get you off.
ETA~ I say go for it. You only live once.
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Yeah, but she's also not the healthiest human being. Last time I remember she was on coke, she ended up a month or so later dating a heroin dealer, blowing his friends for H-bags.
She's off the smack now, and she claims to do heroin only casually, but...
I'm also not sure if she would expect a relationship out of it, though she's sworn off of relationships since my friend broke up with her. Still, she's been making doe eyes at me for awhile now. I just don't feel like a relationship with her would be that good for either of us. Don't see anything wrong with FWB, though.
But... she also claims the orgasm is amazing, she's really fun and I like her as a friend and I almost feel like she might get offended if I never take her up on her offer. She's also really cute in this kinda down-homey gone slightly awry way that gives the country boy in me multiple orgasms. Not to mention...
Quote:
That's not something you get offered every day.
...or is it?
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...
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...or do I?
*sunglasses*
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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09-27-2011, 10:20 PM
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#4149
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Saya passes out asleep whenever I talk to her. I think she has narcolepsy.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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09-27-2011, 10:52 PM
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#4150
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Maybe it's just the time difference.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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