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Old 12-07-2015, 08:13 PM   #1
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Oddest Job Ever

What was the Oddest Job you've ever had?

For me it was a seasonal job at a Petting Zoo, Where I was responsible for two Alpacas, and a Lama.
For those of you who don't know these are both very anti-social animals. They usually don't like people.
And I should mention... They Spit!!!
So I would spend all morning in a pin with these pissed off, spitting, snobs. While children came along and screamed at them.
But the worst was when the Lama decided it was going to mate with one of the Alpacas. Yeah... Try playing that one off as 20 children ask you "What's he doin? Is he getting a piggy back ride?" It was awkward, to say the least.
And you don't get in the middle of that spitting, grunting mess.
Or at least, I sure as hell wasn't about to!

I finally managed to befriend the Lama, but by then the gig was up.

So... What was your Oddest Job Ever?
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Old 12-08-2015, 06:04 PM   #2
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Dude that's one kerayzee job! Hahaa love it!

I've had such dull jobs in comparison ..
I think the weirdest job in my CV was selling Accidental Death Insurance.
LOL random o.O
I shit you not!
"Are you aware that over 30,000 people in the UK die from accidental deaths every year". Imagine me calling you outta the blue to inform you of that fact!
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Old 12-08-2015, 07:34 PM   #3
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"Are you aware that over 30,000 people in the UK die from accidental deaths every year". Imagine me calling you outta the blue to inform you of that fact!
NICE!
So you were like the Grim Reaper of Telemarketing.
Imagine how many of those people's days were suddenly derailed into thoughts of their own demise...

Hilarious!

I did the telemarketing thing for a bit when I was younger.
Wasn't very good at it. I really don't like to feel like I'm bothering someone.
And when your 'cold calling' that's basically what your doing.

But every once in a while you Do get that really talkative crazy person.
That's always entertaining.
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Old 12-09-2015, 11:49 AM   #4
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I would have to say product testing, I liked that because you get paid money to complain about things and people actually listen. Unfortunately you don't always get a product you like or caire about, one time we had to watch soap operas and they quizzed us on them, having to watch shows you don't caire about is the worst.
Another time we got to test a yet unreleased sneaker, the company had not decided if they were going to market it men or womens or both so every one got to wear the first version, then it came out as a lady's sneaker making the guys look a bit odd because we wore them for weeks in every day life.
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Old 12-09-2015, 03:51 PM   #5
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one time we had to watch soap operas and they quizzed us on them, having to watch shows you don't caire about is the worst.
Lady's Sneakers + Soap Operas, ... I am .. So Sorry!

A friend of mine spent some time, doin time.
He told me all the other prisoners loved to watch soaps. Of course, They said is was about seeing the Hot Women. But he also told me they would all get really involved in the crappy stories, and even get in fights over soap (opera) related disagreements.

Something about general population sitting around watching 'Days of our Shitty Lives', and hanging on every word, Just makes me laugh. Fuck That!!!
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:50 PM   #6
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NICE!
Grim Reaper of Telemarketing.
Hahaaaaaa love it!
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Old 12-09-2015, 06:56 PM   #7
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prisoners loved to watch soaps.
I'll bet that Prisoner Cell Block H wasn't a fave!
Christ the Night that was bad o.O
I saw it one time and one time only.
I couldn't sleep the night before a friends funeral, decided to make use of the time so in the wee small hours of the morn fired up my iron to press my funeral clothes. I popped the TV on to keep me company and that was when I met with Prisoner .. grim! LOL
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Old 12-10-2015, 02:43 AM   #8
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Back in 1988 I worked as a volunteer at our state museum. I worked in the 'Information Centre' which was an educational facility where amongst lots of preserved natural history specimens, they also kept a number of live animals.

Now, this being Australia, they had lots of tortoises, lizards, spiders and snakes. Most of these were harmless creatures and would gladly let you pick them up and play with them. Most but not all....

There was one particular snake with the rather evocative common name of Death Adder. Needless to say the bite of the good old Australian Death Adder is deadly and after the first few days working at the Info Centre it somehow became my job to feed her - for yes, she was female - deadlier than the male (it goes without saying.)

Our Death Adder was also a rather valuable serpent and could not be fed live mice for fear that the mice might bite her in their death throes, possibly causing an infection and resulting in the snake's loss. No amount of money could ever entice any vet to treat the poor injured snake if this happened, so her death would have been almost certain. So how to feed her?

Fortunately the guy in charge of the Info Centre had hit upon a novel method and this now became my job every Wednesday.

What I had to do was defrost a frozen white mouse from the supply that was specially bred for the museum. I then had to attach a paperclip to the mouses's leg and tie a length of fine string to the other end of the clip. I then had to slip the mouse into the snake's aquarium and move it around as though it was alive. Not too rapidly and not too slowly but just enough to get the snake's attention but not frighten it. The death adder is an ambush predator - it just sits as still as a stone until its prey literally passes right in front of it. Then it strikes with lightning speed...

Now this snake's venom will kill an adult man in minutes. It's slate grey in colour and it only measures about ten inches in length. With its unblinking eyes, it's quite a beautiful animal and looking after it was definitely the strangest job I've ever had.
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Old 12-11-2015, 09:22 PM   #9
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Back in 1988 I worked as a volunteer at our state museum. I worked in the 'Information Centre' which was an educational facility where amongst lots of preserved natural history specimens, they also kept a number of live animals.
That sounds like a cool volunteer job. I've always thought I might enjoy working in a Natural History or Art museum. Or an aquarium.

I'm familiar with the Death Adders, BUT ONLY from books, and television.
One of Natures Nasty Beauties.
Nothing like a little danger at work to help pass the time. Right?

I'm also familiar with the Dead Rat Marionette. For a while I worked in a little pet shop (ran by a family of dysfunctional alcoholics), and somehow the son-in-law manager acquired an Anaconda. Was only about 2m long, but it was a handful. We built a custom enclosure out of plexiglass for it. It spent all its time in the pool we built into one side of the enclosure. When I fed it I had to microwave a frozen rat, and use a thin metal rod with a clip on the end to "deliver" the meal. That snake wasn't the biggest there, but it was one of the most aggressive.

That place was a mess. Copperheads loose in the bathroom, Watch'n me pee.
Finding one of their Black Caimans in the big plastic trash cart,
And all of management drunk, and belligerent by lunch time.
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Old 12-11-2015, 10:11 PM   #10
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Priapism, my friend, that scenario sounds like the prelude to a B-grade horror film. How long did you suffer that job?

I've never heard it called that - Dead Rat Marionette (great name for a band btw) I've always had a secret love of rattlesnakes. Our Death Adder was actually found by some old lady in her back yard in the hills just outside of Adelaide. She picked it up when it was about half its size (about five inches) with a pair of kitchen tongs, put it in an empty ice-cream container, which luckily had a tight fitting lid, and brought it in to the museum for identification.

When the chief herpetologist arrived to identify it, he just about freaked out! Death Adders have a short but rather broad body with a relatively big head. Even a juvenile's bite can kill, so the old lady was rather lucky.

Our other celebrity animal was Morticia the tarantula - smuggled in from Mexico inside a tube of tennis balls in about 1977 and siezed by customs at Adelaide airport. Poor Morticia lived for a few years at the museum where she was very popular with the public. One day she was posed for a news photo shoot on the shoulder of one of the museum staff but was frightened by the camera flash and leaped to her death. Still, I used to get lots of requests to see her preserved body - in a jar of methylated spirit where she still rests. Vale Morticia !

I used to love giving demonstrations of the string and paper clip method of feeding the adder, and see the mixed look of fear and fascination on most people's faces...........ah memories !
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Old 12-12-2015, 01:53 AM   #11
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I had a pet tarantula, my dad hated it. He was always afraid it would escape.
It did very little except sit on a rock and throw hairs at me. It did not like to be handled or bothered.
It was the wrong pet to have at the time, We lived in a cold house you really could not get the place warm.
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Old 12-12-2015, 02:02 AM   #12
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Yeah, I remember Morticia doing the trowing the hairs thing, and she was very, very placid. They're strange animals I guess, not at all like a 'typical' spider. She also shed her skin once too and the museum still has the skin framed and on display on the wall.
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Old 12-12-2015, 10:49 PM   #13
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Priapism, my friend, that scenario sounds like the prelude to a B-grade horror film. How long did you suffer that job?
Too Long.
It was around 10 months, but towards the end I was just going to work to make sure the animals were actually being fed. That whole place was B-Grade. Of all the horrible people I've ever met, they were among the worst. Always plotting against each other, and trying to pull others down into their little tangents of crazy. I just keep my head down and played dumb while I was there.
Good Riddance to that place.

I actually had a BirdEater tarantula for a couple years. (Guess where I got it.)
'Sweetness The Conqueror'... A roommate named her, but I didn't feel that 'Sweetness' was BadAss enough so I added 'The Conqueror'. We finally settled on 'Sweets'.
She was the biggest spider I've ever seen, and the only tarantula I've ever felt comfortable handling. If you were slow but deliberate, and broadcast your motions to her, she was fine. Never Spased on me like other spiders do sometimes. But I must admit... I would get a little uncomfortable if she climbed up towards my face. (Those fangs where BIG.) She never grew to full size, Unfortunately, one winter got pretty cold and I think it was too much.
Still have her body somewhere. I used to be into Entomology so I posed and preserved her.
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Old 12-13-2015, 12:51 AM   #14
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Yeah, I was into entomology too. I seriously considered it as a career back when I graduated from high school (I ended up going to art school instead now I work in a call centre) I collected beetles for many years and wrote several papers based on my observations which were published by the South Australian Museum and the Victorian Entomological Society. I'm very pro-conservation these days and will only kill roaches.

If ever I find a spider inside I will always capture it in a jar and release it. I once had a big golden wolf spider in here. Lycosa aurea I think they're called - talk about difficult to catch! This spider is a tough, mean, survival machine ! They're not particularly venomous and if they do bite you, I think the symptoms are like those of a bee sting but it was too big a spider to ignore. Well, try as I might to get the jar over this guy, he was always two steps ahead of me - moving out of the way just as I tried to bring the jar down over him, then shooting off under the furniture or onto the ceiling. Being an active and agressive hunter they have excellent eyesight, and a certain degree of 'spidey sense' I'll bet.

Much to my regret I ended up wacking him with a rolled up newspaper. He curled up and I thought he was dead so I scooped him up into a jar and put it in the laundry basin. Next morning, much to my amazement, he had recovered and was as alert as ever, only having lost a leg. Amazing !
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Old 12-13-2015, 07:30 AM   #15
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Sweets <3
RIP xxx
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Old 12-13-2015, 09:49 PM   #16
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If ever I find a spider inside I will always capture it in a jar and release it.
That's very decent of you Mr. Stormbringer.
Had to do the same only hours ago. We have a lot of Wolf Spiders around here.
They're always finding a way in. But they are basically harmless.
The biggest is the Carolina Wolf (Hogna Carolinensis).
The adult females look like young tarantulas, and get up to 3cm, but with their leg span it's closer to 5.

A trick I learned from working with tarantulas... Paper Towel Roll Tubes. (or any small tube) Place the tube in front of the spider, and move your hand around behind it. It will see the tube as a safe, small, enclosed retreat, and climb into it. Once inside they almost never come back out while you handle the tube. I just sit it out in the grass, and they can leave at their leisure.
It works with most large spiders.

We also have Black Widows, and Brown Recluse around here. But Honestly I just kill them if they get in my home. Cruel? Maybe, but I can't have them biting my dog, my friends, or me. Outside is fine, But not in my shower.
I've been told that the Wolf Spiders will kill their poisonous relatives. So that's another reason to be Kind. Natures Best Pest Control Is Nature.

Last couple years I have been doing microscope photography of Insects, Spiders, and other Things. (Just a Hobby) If anyone is interested, Let me know and I'll post a few in the Pictures thread.
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Old 12-14-2015, 05:55 AM   #17
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I'd love to see some of your photography. I agree with you about nature's checks and balances being best. What I'm reacting too is the sheer ignorance and overreaction of most of the people that I know - people who will empty half a can of fly spray on every spider they see. It's bad for the environment apart from anything else. So I always try to tell people that most spiders are harmless, should be left alone and if they do invade the home there are other options for dealing with them. I'll take note of your paper roll trick.
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Old 12-14-2015, 09:54 AM   #18
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OMG until you go in your friends basement to look at his new darkroom he set up and there is a wolf spider as big as your head on the wall. Id say just close the door and sneak back the way you came in.
I am not sure where you are, but the spiders here, its a good case of actually spending a long time learning which ones are which.
The dangerous one here isnt even that big or menacing and is totally deadly, brown recluse.
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Old 12-14-2015, 10:35 AM   #19
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Stormbringer is in Australia, and If we have learned anything from the internet it is that everything in Australia is venomous and deadly.
Oh and it is entirely peopled by criminals I learned that from princess bride.
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Old 12-14-2015, 11:24 AM   #20
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I beg to differ you can still die via grizzly, wolfs, big cat, pit vipers, killer spiders. here in the lower 48, heck I even heard coyotes in town this last weekend and I am in the Midwest.
Most Americans are too busy shopping to notice.
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Old 12-14-2015, 11:45 AM   #21
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Stormbringer is in Australia, and If we have learned anything from the internet it is that everything in Australia is venomous and deadly.
Oh and it is entirely peopled by criminals I learned that from princess bride.
Correction LaughingGoth, I am a MASTER criminal !
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Old 12-14-2015, 01:31 PM   #22
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Correction LaughingGoth, I am a MASTER criminal !
I thought you loved fishing, wouldnt that make you a master baiter )
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Old 12-14-2015, 08:34 PM   #23
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A trick I learned from working with tarantulas... Paper Towel Roll Tubes. (or any small tube) Place the tube in front of the spider, and move your hand around behind it. It will see the tube as a safe, small, enclosed retreat, and climb into it. Once inside they almost never come back out while you handle the tube. I just sit it out in the grass, and they can leave at their leisure.
It works with most large spiders.
This is an excellent trick... will have to remember that for if I have the balls to do it. Though oddly my old fear of spiders seems to have faded to almost nothing.

Quote:
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Stormbringer is in Australia, and If we have learned anything from the internet it is that everything in Australia is venomous and deadly.
Oh and it is entirely peopled by criminals I learned that from princess bride.
Can confirm, I once bit a man and he died. I'm still on the run
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Old 12-15-2015, 01:32 AM   #24
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I am a MASTER criminal !
It's good to be the MASTER.

So, I ran into a couple roadblocks trying to post those pics.
Couldn't find a Gallery thread, so I made one, in the hopes that I might also get to see something of others creativity. But for some reason (User-Error??) the picture wouldn't show up in the post.

So If you are interested, You can see them here...
https://www.facebook.com/Ugly-912-970908062959699/

It's my crappy, neglected artist page.
I updated it with some more recent stuff.
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Old 12-15-2015, 06:51 AM   #25
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Beautiful work, the cicindelid is amazing - that iridescense and their eyes. We have a couple of species in South Aust. but they live in the arid interior of the state. In other words, a world away. Well done my friend, I'm impressed, kudos to you.
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