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Old 12-07-2008, 10:05 PM   #1
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Chemo (For the Cancer that is Killing)

Alright, we all know that Kelpmann is a massively unoriginal contrived internet troll. However after the revelations in this thread I decided to take him off ignore for a bit and take a gander at his other posts through the magic of google.

This is almost word-for-word the speech Skeletor gives in the live-action "Masters of the Universe" movie.

Here we find a direct quote from Cato the Elder and Abraham Linclon probably others, if we bothered to look for them.

This thread is just a hodgepodge of quotes and pithy phrases disguised as his own thoughts. It begins with a quote by Albert Einstein, jumps into Ralph Waldo Emerson and other. notable. statements. Which he has cobbled together and attempted to pass off as his own.

The sheer scope of this "wit" is staggering. I do not believe that this kid has a single original thought in his head. What I find staggering was that people like Skull-ass-face (I like how he laments the fact that he has nothing "original" to add to Kelpmann's "inspiration") and others actually mistook this stuff for Helpmann's. I mean, this goes way beyond the scope of reference, or even "copying", this is straight up-Todd Goldman level cut and paste.

Anyway, it's just kinda cool that we have proof positive now that not only is he a troll, but he's not even his own troll. The "intelligence" and "wit" a couple of the slower people among us have so foolishly admired is nothing but theft and amalgamation from others who actually were smart. It doesn't seem like Helpmann is alone in this either. Hell after I took EtS off ignore I found that was spamming an article on "Martian Law" from uncyclopedia, presumably in some attempt to screw with my Sealab-inspired wackiness. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the start of his "novel" is cribbed from Stephen King or some other hack-writer.

So hopefully if anyone is still hanging onto doubts that this whole crew is anything more than a poor excuse for trollish attention whores...yeah, sorry we've kinda got conclusive evidence that you are wrong. Helpmann is just another idiot with boobs on his head named after a dancer.

Just thought I'd bring that up. I now declare the topic of this thread to be:

CATURDAY!
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:09 PM   #2
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Well done Despanan! While I am satisfied to find out the truth of your research, I am also a bit disappointed in myself that I did not recognize the quotes. This lazy approach to appearing pontifical should have been realized right away. Thanks for following your intuition and verifying it.
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:21 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by HumanePain
Well done Despanan! While I am satisfied to find out the truth of your research, I am also a bit disappointed in myself that I did not recognize the quotes. This lazy approach to appearing pontifical should have been realized right away. Thanks for following your intuition and verifying it.
Ahh, 'tweren't no thing. I've been a part of the art and goth scene long enough to recognize a phony. This was just a little more blatant than the usual faux-brilliance, so it's possible to objectively prove it.

There are so many people out there who pretend to be the real thing, but when you get right down to it, have no substance. Hell, fakers were playing at that whole "I am a god to you mortals" schtick way back in highschool. The sad thing is that Helpmann seems to be in his mid-twenties and still hasn't grown out of it.

Got you a birthday gift Kontan
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:34 PM   #4
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How sweet of you to mention me in your post. I will point out only one thing, and that is I stand by my post. Whether the words were Helpmann's or not (in this case not) I still found them inspirational and in this instance was glad that they were posted.

Either way well done.
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Old 12-07-2008, 10:45 PM   #5
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just let Helpy have his fun, without theses forums he'd be watching *shudders* prime-time television.
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:00 PM   #6
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Wow. The stab at my writing kind of got me.

I mean, to liken my work to that of Stephen King. That's quite complimentary. Though I assure you it is all original work. It's on my myspace and is all under copyright with a lot of other material.

Thankyou!

Still though. How is this "Chemo" as you call it? Disarming information that was hidden in plain sight isn't really a huge accomplishment. It's impressive that you caught all the homages and such but really; What are you trying to prove here?
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:06 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
Ahh, 'tweren't no thing. I've been a part of the art and goth scene long enough to recognize a phony. This was just a little more blatant than the usual faux-brilliance, so it's possible to objectively prove it.

There are so many people out there who pretend to be the real thing, but when you get right down to it, have no substance. Hell, fakers were playing at that whole "I am a god to you mortals" schtick way back in highschool. The sad thing is that Helpmann seems to be in his mid-twenties and still hasn't grown out of it.
Prove right here, right now, that you are an accomplished actor and that your hiking expedition was no more than you enjoying your unemployment.

I myself work in special effects and makeup as well as designing advertisements and fliers. I've proved it on many threads. What do you have to show? Where is your work?

'Helpmann' works in theater and attends college.

Again you prance about accusing people of your own faults. A true jester. You accuse us of being fakes. Where are your credentials?

All I see here is proof of my personal accomplishments. A lowly scab trying to feed off of my success because he has none for himself. Another g-net Perez Hilton.
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:18 PM   #8
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Dude,the jig is up. You're a joke. The sharper members around here have known it for weeks, and even the stupidest among us can now see just how pathetic you and your crew really are. Now go scamper off and find another forum to try this in, or hang around here and try in vain to re-establish your dignity, or kill yourself. I really could care less.

I don't have to justify my accomplishments to you people, I never did. I know what my life is like, and from what I've seen out of you losers, I can guess what yours is.

edit: You know what though? I think I will give you that proof. It's the least I can do. Eat your heart out motherfucker.
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:25 PM   #9
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What jig? There are tons more homages that you missed. Helpman's earlier signature was from Caligula. Mine was a direct Adolf Hitler quote. Didn't catch those, did you, genius?

How does any of that make us 'jokes' or 'fakes'? There is no need to re-establish any dignity. We've lost none of it. You're just like Sanguine Mind or Albert Mond with a more elaborate vocabulary. A bunch of words and absolutely no substance.

"OOOOH! I found out who helpmann's been quoting! RICK ROLL LINK! fap fap fap. LOOK AT ME! KING OF SHIT HILL! A ONE EYED MAN AMONG THE BLIND!"

Yeah. Real impressive.

HAHA! You don't have to justify your accomplishments and yet you expect us to? Your double sided logic is your own demise. This thread is no more substancial than the one shade made last night and you will suffer an equal amount of humiliation for it.
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:37 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan

I don't have to justify my accomplishments to you people, I never did. I know what my life is like, and from what I've seen out of you losers, I can guess what yours is.
Translated for the easily confused.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan

I'm a poverty level loser that has given up on any personal success to the point that I have lowered my personal standards and don't have to care where I am in the world. I cover it up with a philosophical thought patern that makes me a winner no matter how little money I have or how broke I become because I can come online at the local library and trick people into thinking I'm cool at G-net.
......................
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:50 PM   #11
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"Homages" my ass, you're unoriginal fools. You're liars, finks, posers, take your pick. Every argument you've spun, every idea you've had on here is nothing but other people's mental refuse. You're Salieris, bastions of mediocrity that can only play at being anything more. Even now you're mirroring my flames because you lack the capacity to do anything else.

Give it up man, or don't, I really don't particularly care. You're going back on ignore. Scream that I am not who I claim to be, call me a coward, hell insult me in full thread form. It won't change the fact that boobie pics, rats, and false birthday celebrations are now, and always will be, more interesting than the tired antics of your little crew.

I am going to sleep well tonight because I am secure about who I am and what I'm doing, and I don't have to play games for the attention of a bunch of people I have never, and will never meet. You have proven to me conclusively that you cannot say the same. Good luck with that, and good night.

Go tell a Martian, passerby, that here, by Martian Law, we lie. <-- See, THAT is an "Homage"
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Old 12-07-2008, 11:56 PM   #12
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...7/despanan.jpg

All you've proven here is that you're so jealous of other people's success that you will dig as far as you can, looking for dirt, find nothing and still try to use whatever blank and useless ammunition you came upon as if it's live rounds.

A true loser. Keep me on 'ignore' this time, will ya?
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:21 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
"Homages" my ass, you're unoriginal fools. You're liars, finks, posers, take your pick. Every argument you've spun, every idea you've had on here is nothing but other people's mental refuse. You're Salieris, bastions of mediocrity that can only play at being anything more. Even now you're mirroring my flames because you lack the capacity to do anything else.
You forgot the 'hypocritic'.

They tried to hit me with the point that I spam the general section with games.

Well, the truth is always right there to seek and , as I can see, there're lots of pointless thread they made, which are far worse than games.
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:30 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eclipsing the Son
All you've proven here is that you're so jealous of other people's success that you will dig as far as you can, looking for dirt, find nothing
Find nothing?
Helpmann's 'argument' against collectivization was just a copying and pasting of a wikipedia entry and you don't see why Despanan feels he found something good?
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:33 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
Find nothing?
Helpmann's 'argument' against collectivization was just a copying and pasting of a wikipedia entry and you don't see why Despanan feels he found something good?
Why do you even argue with Son? Son neither makes nor attempts to make valid points. Most of his posts are simple meaningless trolling, the rest are silly attempts to get people to think he can post anything worth shit to disguise the former.
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Old 12-08-2008, 12:36 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Albert Mond
Why do you even argue with Son? Son neither makes nor attempts to make valid points. Most of his posts are simple meaningless trolling, the rest are silly attempts to get people to think he can post anything worth shit to disguise the former.

Actually, he can propose my english teacher with those posts.

Explanation : C-
Vocabulary : A-
Point : F
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Old 12-08-2008, 01:03 AM   #17
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Quote:
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Find nothing?
Helpmann's 'argument' against collectivization was just a copying and pasting of a wikipedia entry and you don't see why Despanan feels he found something good?
If anybody else had done this nobody would care. Nobody would make a thread about it and try to blow it out of proportion. I'm not going to argue further on Helpmann's behalf but he'll probably have something similar to say. This is hardly a reputation shattering development.
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Old 12-08-2008, 01:21 AM   #18
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As far as I go, it's not about reputation; that's stupid.
But that he lacks his own arguments for something he disagrees? That's unforgivable.
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Old 12-08-2008, 03:20 AM   #19
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Are you the real Batman? Then why do you dress like him?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
Alright, we all know that Kelpmann is a massively unoriginal contrived internet troll. However after the revelations in this thread I decided to take him off ignore for a bit and take a gander at his other posts through the magic of google.
Good... Good... I feel your obsession...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
This is almost word-for-word the speech Skeletor gives in the live-action "Masters of the Universe" movie.

Here we find a direct quote from Cato the Elder and Abraham Linclon probably others, if we bothered to look for them.

This thread is just a hodgepodge of quotes and pithy phrases disguised as his own thoughts. It begins with a quote by Albert Einstein, jumps into Ralph Waldo Emerson and other. notable. statements. Which he has cobbled together and attempted to pass off as his own.
I am defencless...


Take your google... use it... strike me down... give me your attention.... search up everything I have ever posted and your journey towards ignoring me will be complete!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
The sheer scope of this "wit" is staggering. I do not believe that this kid has a single original thought in his head. What I find staggering was that people like Skull-ass-face (I like how he laments the fact that he has nothing "original" to add to Kelpmann's "inspiration") and others actually mistook this stuff for Helpmann's. I mean, this goes way beyond the scope of reference, or even "copying", this is straight up-Todd Goldman level cut and paste.


Anyway, it's just kinda cool that we have proof positive now that not only is he a troll, but he's not even his own troll. The "intelligence" and "wit" a couple of the slower people among us have so foolishly admired is nothing but theft and amalgamation from others who actually were smart. It doesn't seem like Helpmann is alone in this either. Hell after I took EtS off ignore I found that was spamming an article on "Martian Law" from uncyclopedia, presumably in some attempt to screw with my Sealab-inspired wackiness. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the start of his "novel" is cribbed from Stephen King or some other hack-writer.

So hopefully if anyone is still hanging onto doubts that this whole crew is anything more than a poor excuse for trollish attention whores...yeah, sorry we've kinda got conclusive evidence that you are wrong. Helpmann is just another idiot with boobs on his head named after a dancer.

Just thought I'd bring that up. I now declare the topic of this thread to be:

CATURDAY!
With each devotional thread you make yourself more my servant.

It is unavoidable... it is your destiny.


You.. like $haDe... are now... MINE!
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Old 12-08-2008, 03:38 AM   #20
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Despanen, this is just pathetic now. What's it going to be after cats? Rat memes ? Just stop. You seem to be digging yourself into a hole. Spamming is not intelligent, it's not funny and it certainly isn't going to knock a thread off topic. To me it looks like you're going to morph into Necrophuckgit any day now...
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Old 12-08-2008, 05:01 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by jack_the_knife
Despanen, this is just pathetic now. What's it going to be after cats? Rat memes ? Just stop. You seem to be digging yourself into a hole. Spamming is not intelligent, it's not funny and it certainly isn't going to knock a thread off topic. To me it looks like you're going to morph into Necrophuckgit any day now...
He's not spamming. And why you think he should counter the Helpqueers with something 'intelligent' is beyond me.
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Old 12-08-2008, 05:49 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SKULHEDFACE
How sweet of you to mention me in your post. I will point out only one thing, and that is I stand by my post. Whether the words were Helpmann's or not (in this case not) I still found them inspirational and in this instance was glad that they were posted.

Either way well done.

Now that you know, *gold flying star*, g educate yourself on the real McCoy.
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:19 AM   #23
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He's not spamming. And why you think he should counter the Helpqueers with something 'intelligent' is beyond me.
Explain to me how posting tits and cats all over the boards is not spamming? He could post an intelligent retort or an intelligent argument now and again, it would be refreshing...
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:39 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by jack_the_knife
Explain to me how posting tits and cats all over the boards is not spamming? He could post an intelligent retort or an intelligent argument now and again, it would be refreshing...
It might be spamming if it were in a single chatroom where it would obscure other messages, but by forum definitions, posting different images is not spamming. By your definition, one could say that Helpmann and friends are 'spamming' flame posts. In which case, I see no reason not to post tits and cats in their worthless threads. And what's the point of arguing with the trolls, exactly?
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:43 AM   #25
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I'm pretty sure it's still spamming.
Countless repetitive, pointless images.
Fits the bill for spamming.
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