Zaney Duane needs your help!!!

[Duane]

I know some of you probably don't like me much, and I agree that I can be a pain... but I need help. I has a date, as some of you may/may not know, with incredibly amazing woman. Half the time the mere thought of going out with her is to great to bare, I mean she's so awesome. So please give me some advice to make this date go nice, and smooth.

[Splintered]

Lube?

Oh wait, different kind of smooth.

Make sure you have the cash in your hands before you go on the date, keep some tissue in your pockets for sweaty palms, stand tall, open the door for her and pull out her chair unless she tells you not too.

[Vexik]

My advice is to keep her off a pedestal and try to meet with her person-to-person. Don't sell yourself short, man. You're pretty damn awesome yourself. She's just as lucky to have caught your eye.

I know first dates are all about impressing, but keep your cool and keep it real. It'll turn out a lot better in the long run if you're honest about who you are and what you like.

Oh, and the wenches fall head over heels for a guy in folded boots, puffy shirt, and a cutlass.

[ThreeEyesOni]

I really hope that you're a better conversationalist than writer, or at the very least English is neither of your native languages; that paragraph was a train wreck.

There's not really advice that can be given here other than the obvious, since no details are available. Shower beforehand, wear clean clothes, pay attention to what she says and make relevant conversation back, make sure that whatever you have planned you can pay for twice over as a precaution, and for the love all squidgy tentacled beasts:

Don't act, say, respond or anything in a "she's so great it's too much to bear." That's just creepy.

[HumanePain]

And DON'T have bad breath!!!

[Duane]

Thanks everyone, Humane, ThreeEye... ThreeEyes, are you related to Simon Cowell?

[Noumi]

Don´t talk about stupid things...well, it depends of her tastes too but I hate when a guy starts talking about senseless subjects...

[Solumina]

Remember to keep the mindset of she is amazing without thinking that you are not worthy, we like to hear that we are pretty, intelligent, and fun to be around but a guy that keeps saying how they are not worthy makes us think that you really aren't and we will move on. Also make sure that you smell good in a subtle way (on spritz of cologne is ideal anymore is to overwhelming if you are close to someone), the idea is that it triggers a happy feeling and she will associate that with being very near to you (I'm not kidding, I can still remember the way Jake smelled on our first date and that was over two and a half years ago). Also pay attention to detail, it shows that you really care and are putting forth genuine effort. Last but not least I recommend that you take her out for something interesting (take her to an art gallery, to park, a museum, play, early-ish movie etc.) as it will make conversation easier and then if you want you can get dinner/coffee/dessert/whatever and you still have something to talk about.

[Duane]

How much of a minus is it if she's the one who picks me up?

[korinna5555]

No difference. I cold care less when it comes to dating.
Don't make it a big deal, though.

[Solumina]

I've picked guys up and it never bothered me any

[Fleur]

Originally Posted by Duane

How much of a minus is it if she's the one who picks me up?

A small one.
Give her flowers, a single red rose is much better than an entire bouquet of another type. Make sure you're the one paying though, a lot of girls hate the thought of splitting a bill on a date, unless they're the one who asked you out. Be a gentleman, talk about intelligent subjects, don't make corny jokes, wear deodorant, brush your teeth beforehand, and, if you plan on kissing her, don't eat anything that is potentially smelly. Also, bring mints, just in case.

Good luck.

[HumanePain]

Talk about Gnet! THAT should give you HOURS of conversations! Heehee!

[ThreeEyesOni]

Originally Posted by Duane

ThreeEyes, are you related to Simon Cowell?

No, I'm just an asshole.

[Solumina]

A least you are a lovable asshole

Oh and Duane just a little something that you may want to be aware of: if you take a girl out to diner you should order first so that she can get an idea of what you are comfortable spending (although there are some girls that wont pay any attention to that)

[HumanePain]

Talking about eating: dining can be an excellent conversation at the subconscious level, by that I mean the way you eat can be...titillating...if done well. Don't dig in and gorge as soon as the plate hits the table. Think of eating as an indicator of latent lovemaking ability. Delicately impale the tomato wedge from the salad, and then sensuously wrap your lips around it and nibble it rather than plopping the whole thing in your mouth at once. If you get dressing on your lips, don't wipe it with a napkin, lick your lips. As the two of you engage in conversation, and you slice a meatball in half, hold up the impaled half and rotate the fork, observing the meatball from all sides, contemplating it before you devour it. Look for the opportunity to use the word "Yum!" and mean it.

Or you could watch Jennifer Beals in Flashdance eat a lobster and get the same idea.

[ThreeEyesOni]

If I ever was on a date and the girl started giving her alfredo a blowjob, I think that I'd just have to call it quits. >_>

I have two tactics for "dinner dates", though that's probably because I'm a huge foodie. For me it bounces between either a completely informal thing (ie: we're out at this place to be together and eat, in that order) or the food is a specific part of the plan. Because of this I tend to like the better resteraunts for the less "formal" occassions, because if I'm checking out the new fusion place across town I don't feel like also having to worry if I'm smirking just too much or something like that.

Then again, I also try to stay away for good resteraunts with people that don't want to hear me talk about the food too much, because I completely will.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Well everything I was going to say has already been said man. So all I cans say is good luck dude, I know what it is like, then again, that's the only date I ever went on ever. Meh.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by ThreeEyesOni

If I ever was on a date and the girl started giving her alfredo a blowjob, I think that I'd just have to call it quits. >_>

Maybe I am too much of a voyeur then.

[Solumina]

Suggestive eating can be quite titillating if done well but I wouldn't recommend it for this particular date (it is a first date and he is still relatively young after all), but neat/polite eating habits are generally appreciated (sloppy eating is a BIG turnoff for most of the girls I know) so take small bites, chew with your mouth closed, and don't slurp your drink.

[HumanePain]

Take the lady's advice my man. Just be yourself and relax.

[gothicusmaximus]

Chloroform.

[Duane]

Thanks for the good advice people. Yeah, I'm ...meh trying my best to stay calm and keep my mind off of it... MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT!!!!!*Runs up to a mortal kombat arcade game, and inserts a quarter* I IS RAYDEN!!! GDHGBDSFLGB FLYING PUSHY MOOOOVE!

[Wednesday Friday Addams]

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Chloroform.

This .

[Duane]

Um... no? I was just thinking of getting her a single rose, or maybe just a stuffed animal.