Cold

[gothicrose1052]

Stillness,
Silence,
Darkness,
When you combine all these things,
You get Death,
Yet people say there's light at the end of the Darkness,
When I see no light,
Only comforting darkness,
As I fade into the backround

[vindicatedxjin]

*Wah Wah WAhhhhhhhhhh*

[JCC]

Stillness,
Silence,
Darkness,
When you combine all these things,
You get Death,

Or a paralysed blind, deaf and dumb man.

[ape descendant]

I think it needs more maggots...

[Stitchy.]

Ummmm interesting? If not a bit dramatic..

[requiescant_in_pace]

Originally Posted by gothicrose1052

Stillness,
Silence,
Darkness,
When you combine all these things,
You get Death,

If you say so. Is this, perhaps, a little bit cliche? Do you really have to get death when you combine these three thing?

Yet people say there's light at the end of the Darkness,

'There's' is an elision, and it doesn't fit the 'poetic' style you seem to be trying for.

When I see no light,
Only comforting darkness,
As I fade into the backround

For real??? C'mon. If you really have these morbid feelings, and you want to express them through prose, don't saym the same things that we've all heard before. This language: Cold, stillness, darkness, death etc.. Look through this forum. You will find a thousand pieces just like this.

Be bold. TRY to be different.