Rant Thread II - Page 168

Ben Lahnger · 08-10-2010, 11:58 AM

JCC, thank you for that.

Underwater Ophelia · 08-10-2010, 09:37 PM

I only got home an hour an a half ago and I'm already drunk and feeling sick.

Fruitbat · 08-10-2010, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Fuck that, you don't have to be harsh with her but marriage isn't something that you enter into lightly. She's a romanticist, and that always ends badly. As one of the responsible adults in her life you should at least be guiding her in decisions of such magnitude and your partner should feel the same way; even if it leads to an argument you shouldn't sit back and watch her rush into such a big decision without advising her otherwise. What next, when they become husband and wife are they going to start considering children? These are life-changing decisions and frankly it sounds like she isn't taking it very seriously.

Yeah what he said^^

Sometimes you can get caught up in the whole romance of getting married, and ignore the romance with the boy.

Ben, I have every faith that you would be able to say something to her to let her know your concerns, but not cause her to go off the deep end.

I was impulsive once and afterwards everyone said "I knew he was no good" and my comeback was "Well why didn't you tell me in the first place?"

Saya · 08-10-2010, 11:03 PM

You don't think that maybe it also has to do because he's not in the country legally? Not saying that he's manipulating her into getting citizenship but maybe she's worried they'll get separated if they don't get married soon. My mom was engaged to a Brit before and they nearly got married because if they didn't when they planned to, he'd have to go back to England and it would be a long time before he could come back. The day of the wedding was when he decided that was pretty much the only reason why he proposed to her >.<

vindicatedxjin · 08-11-2010, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

I was impulsive once and afterwards everyone said "I knew he was no good" and my comeback was "Well why didn't you tell me in the first place?"

^ This.....

Ben Lahnger · 08-11-2010, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

You don't think that maybe it also has to do because he's not in the country legally? Not saying that he's manipulating her into getting citizenship but maybe she's worried they'll get separated if they don't get married soon. My mom was engaged to a Brit before and they nearly got married because if they didn't when they planned to, he'd have to go back to England and it would be a long time before he could come back. The day of the wedding was when he decided that was pretty much the only reason why he proposed to her >.<

Yeah, I mentioned that I had this concern. And then the biggest problem I would have with the situation is that she is not being honest with me. If she's hiding it because she's worried about the reaction, she definitely knows us very well by now and knows from experience that this is going to get a poorer reception from me than if she was straight up honest about it. I know for a fact she knows this ... plus, she has actually modified her behavior to be much more honest with me in recent years after many years of me telling her the most important thing to me is honesty and that I cannot stand a liar.

Still, it's a possibility I am considering and working into the email I'm crafting to send her.

Hearts_Purple · 08-11-2010, 09:13 AM

Jill, you are one of the people who give me a glimpse of hope for the human race.

Ben, the situation you're in sucks. I hope that they don't manage to get married. It sounds like a shady deal.

Misanthropy has been taken root in my heart since my Grandmother's death in November. Learning how poorly she was really being taken care of in her last years. The real reason she lost weight is because my grandfather wasn't feeding her or making sure there was any food in the house before he went to work. My uncle who lives next door to them wasn't checking in on her like he said he was. None of the family that lived near them was taking care of her like they said. On the day my Grandmother died her husband was haggling over funeral prices trying to get something decent for under $1000! My family, my so-called 'friends' just about everyone I know has proved to me that they really aren't worth my time, lately.

People suck.

Wah-wah, boo-hoo, pity party over...

Ben Lahnger · 08-12-2010, 09:41 AM

Wolfie, not all people suck.

Just a short list among many, many possibilities: Rosa Parks, Mr. Rogers, The Make A Wish Foundation, Doctors Without Borders, Leonardo da Vinci, Jonas Salk, Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America, The Peace Corps, Dr. Robert Jarvik, George Washington Carver, nothingbutnets.net, PlayPumps, Kiva.org and Grameen Bank, Bishop Desmond Tutu, The Mayo Clinic, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital ... and I could go on but you get the idea.

In the media, the badly behaved people get all the attention. So it sometimes goes in our own lives, when we make note of the hurtful behavior of those around us, while the quiet grace and goodness of people just doing the right thing right next to us goes unnoticed.

I recommend The MY HERO Project as a quick pick-me-up and an antidote for misanthropy.

***

In other news, I was able to have that talk with my SO's daughter, after some intense text message negotiations. When she got clear on the idea that I was not trying to be hurtful but was just genuinely concerned for her well-being and happiness, she met me half way and we had a good talk on the phone. I was able to express my concerns in a non-attacking but caring way, and she was able to see why I had those concerns. At the end of it all, she assured me she's happy and that she's doing the right thing, and I accepted that answer. So I will go to the wedding, will celebrate their day of joy and hope for a long-lasting, happy marriage.

And she has asked if I will give her away in the ceremony, which I will gladly do; her biological father has chosen not to be there because he's going to be too busy that day buying a boat. (This family is never without their drama.)

Apathy's_Child · 08-12-2010, 11:05 AM

That was beautiful, Ben. But you forgot the Doctor!

Apathy's_Child · 08-12-2010, 11:34 AM

My rant: I haven't written anything worth a damn in a couple of months. The Muse is very much elsewhere, catting around and being the proverbial whore. This bothers me quite a lot.

Hearts_Purple · 08-12-2010, 11:52 AM

Ben, thank you.

I think it's a manifestation of my fear and anger over her death.

If your SO's daughter is genuinely happy with this decision, then I wish them well.

Ben Lahnger · 08-12-2010, 12:10 PM

Wolfie, you're welcome.

And she assures me she genuinely is happy. Who can say the right or wrongness of this? I dated my ex for 5 years before we got married ... when I was 30. It didn't last. And I do know sometimes these whirlwind romances DO last. She IS happy now, so I embrace that. And thank you for your good wishes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

That was beautiful, Ben. But you forgot the Doctor!

Well, it was in no way intended to be an all-inclusive list. But you're right, I did forget The Doctor ... and the many talented, creative people behind the scenes that have been bringing us his adventures since 1963!

DRM · 08-12-2010, 06:34 PM

Everytime I chew gum (I love chewing gum) it makes my jaw lock up and start popping. =[ Ouchie!

Fruitbat · 08-12-2010, 08:12 PM

Ben Wow. I love it when people talk openly without all the anger. That's cool. Glad you got the air cleared between you.

Wolfie *hugs* There are good people in the world, you just need to step over the crap ones to get to them. I hear you on the anger and frustration stuff. Went through something like this 10 years ago. *hugs*

AC Sorry to hear your Muse has gone AWOL.

Came looking for this thread because I was angry, now I can't remember what the heck I was angry about. Oh that's right, can't scan a photo and I have no patience. I'll fix it. I'll take a photo of the photo.

Ah.. That's better

Ben Lahnger · 08-13-2010, 07:26 AM

SIGN OF THE TIMES IN THE UNITED STATES: In the year 2005, approximately 100,000 homes were foreclosed for the whole year. Last month a record 92,858 homes were repossessed, up 9% from the month before.

*sigh*

Hearts_Purple · 08-13-2010, 11:39 AM

*HUGZ Batty*

Saya · 08-13-2010, 12:02 PM

I'm bone broke and I expect to remain bone broke for the next month. Fuck.

If I don't get to go to school this year I'm seriously thinking about going to work at a camp at Alberta. That would mean twelve hour shifts everyday for three weeks (no days off), then a week off. Shitty work but they pay handsomely, could pay off what I took out in student loans and start saving up myself.

Tam Li Hua · 08-13-2010, 12:09 PM

Days like today really make me wish I had my own place, completely away from all other human contact.

[No, not talking about religious thread.]

Hearts_Purple · 08-13-2010, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

I'm bone broke and I expect to remain bone broke for the next month. Fuck.

If I don't get to go to school this year I'm seriously thinking about going to work at a camp at Alberta. That would mean twelve hour shifts everyday for three weeks (no days off), then a week off. Shitty work but they pay handsomely, could pay off what I took out in student loans and start saving up myself.

That sucks, hun. Take the camp job if you can. Sounds like a sweet deal.

Ben Lahnger · 08-13-2010, 08:13 PM

What was going to be 10 minutes in front of the Justice of the Peace has expanded exponentially. Wedding planning on steroids has been erupting around me for the last day. I'm just trying to keep my head down and avoid the shrapnel.

I burned a CD of romantic music for the couple, picked up their champaign and have arranged a visit to a photo studio after they are wed. I've done my part and now I'm hiding out.

ape descendant · 08-13-2010, 08:43 PM

Hiding out is wise... I'm not terribly fond of weddings myself...

Fruitbat · 08-14-2010, 02:35 AM

Hearts - thanks for the hugs

Saya - working sounds good to me (I worked and studied my way through my degree).

Ben - duck and cover - excellent tactics where weddings are involved.

I hate procrastinating and slow drivers and speed limits. What I really hate is that I get very hyper on caffiene and talk out of my butt.

Still Jack · 08-14-2010, 03:56 AM

I fucking hate people that repeatedly ask for a song that I DON'T FUCKING HAVE.

Hearts_Purple · 08-14-2010, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Still Jack

I fucking hate people that repeatedly ask for a song that I DON'T FUCKING HAVE.

You don't have the latest Gaga album??? What's wrong with you? How about some KISS?

Unfortunately, people will insist that if you are some sort of music aficionado or DJ that you will, of course, have what they want to hear. People are stupid.

Ben, hide out till the day of the wedding. Then get drunk and have a good time. Drunkies at weddings garuantees much fun.

Ben Lahnger · 08-14-2010, 09:48 AM

I fucking hate people that ask me for any song I don't create myself. I only have the right to give away my own music, thank you. Any other artist should get get paid by anyone who wants to listen to them, unless that artist is giving the music away themselves.