Forms of Government explained using cows

[Daywalker]

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad fung shui.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. they get married and adopt a calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are "associated with" (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like...these two cows, an. You have **got** to have some of this milk.

[PortraitOfSanity]

This is so old.

[Ben Lahnger]

Also, why did you feel it necessary to post this old, no-longer-funny, space consuming bit of tedium in it's own thread when you already posted it in another thread in whining?

[Daywalker]

[quote=Ben Lahnger;604616]Also, why did you feel it necessary to post this old, no-longer-funny, space consuming bit of tedium in it's own thread when you already posted it in another thread in whining?[/QU
Because people still don't know what the fuck there talking about when it comes to the government. So this is a old but still good reminder to people on how things work.
PS it may not be funny any more but it helps get my point across
This is for any dumb-ass that still does not get how are system of government and other governments work. So if you understand how the system work than its not for you but i you still need help here it is.

[Ben Lahnger]

Yeah, but once you've posted it a single time anywhere on this site (as you did in whining) you can just save the link to that individual post and then WHEN you are in a thread where someone has a misunderstanding (which is not here) you can just post the link to the original post rather than glutting up the place with large repeat posts or new threads that don't do anyone much good.

And by the way, nobody that really misunderstands the different forms of government is going to get it from this post. I'm just saying, people are pretty stubborn around here in holding to the notion that their opinion is more important than fact, and you haven't demonstrated any capacity to be "the great teacher" beyond a rudimentary ability to copy and paste someone else's words.

[Alan]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

Because people still don't know what the fuck there talking about when it comes to the government. So this is a old but still good reminder to people on how things work.

If yo actually think that 'joke' is even remotely an accurate depiction of forms of governments, you are also one of those dipshits who doesn't know what the fuck 'there'[sic] talking about.

[Daywalker]

Originally Posted by Alan

If yo actually think that 'joke' is even remotely an accurate depiction of forms of governments, you are also one of those dipshits who doesn't know what the fuck 'there'[sic] talking about.

its not about if this joke is a depiction of governments it
it is try to open your mind to think at thing in ways you might not think. That and i Know it just a joke true government a far more complex than this.

[Alan]

How can something open your mind to something it does not have any knowledge on that subject?

[Despanan]

See guys, this is why I'm smarter than you. I didn't click on this thread.



















...Wait a minute.

[PortraitOfSanity]

[HumanePain]

"AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate"."

I must take issue with this comment: the current administration inherited Cowgate and wishes to place it behind us in the past and move forward. Let us continue. To hamburgers.