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Flash`s of Life
Flash`s of Life
By: Demonic - Defiance
One late afternoon I was lying on my bed listening to the radio, when all of a sudden the song that was dedicated to me by my girlfriend before she shot herself started playing. The song brought back all the memories of the times we enjoyed and the love we shared. All the emotions and deep-seated feelings came rushing back to me like the flooding of a river, the hurt that is left is as visible as the Nile is from space.
I feel myself breaking away and falling apart like the walls of Jericho crashing thunderously to the ground. I see her as clearly as ever standing there with the tears in her eyes and the gun to her head. She looks up at me but not at me, almost through me, right into my heart. She ducks her head, closes her eyes and pulls the trigger “BANG”. That sound cuts and jolts me like a crack of lightning in the dark of night.
I feel the tears running down my cheeks and onto my pillow. The thoughts of her are like a knife at my heart cutting and tearing away and with every new day my heart is healed to be torn away yet again. These tears from my eyes are like the blood running from her face.
The cold grips me ushering me into the darkness, filling and overcoming my senses with sadness and hate. I find myself starting to think that it’s not worth living with this pain anymore.
I reach for my cupboard and open the box sitting there before me knowing that if I open it, it will never close again. I plunge my hand into this box and remove the gun that my girlfriend used on herself.
“Click” as the hammer cocks. I run the gun between my hands like a child with a much loved toy. I place the barrel against my head. I feel the cold steel against my pulsing temple. I feel the cold tears running down my face. As the sound of the wind outside and the rain on the tin roof quiets to a whisper against my throbbing heart.
I close my eyes and press the gun harder to my temple. I whisper out “I love you Angela” and pull the trigger. “Bang”. There I stand looking out at her, I see her telling me not to do it, I see her telling me that we will be together but not yet. She turns away from and screams “I love you” as she fades away into the distance.
All the loving memories that we shared flash before me like an over contrasted 80`s film. I hear the rain on the roof once more and the whistling of the wind through the trees outside.
They say that the bullet knows the truth, that it knows who it’s going to kill. Well that must be true coz I wear the one from the gun round my neck now. They also say good memories can save your life, hell they also say the Easter bunny is real. All I know for sure I was not meant to die that day. I will see you again my love . . . . . . . but not yet.
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