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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 04-21-2009, 07:22 AM   #1
Jack again
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Uranus ( Luxembourg )
Posts: 58
My beer.

My Beer.

The sky is nicotine yellow today,
like the teeth and fingers of a festering 70 year old.

The birds are emitting monotonous sounds,
similar to a modem or a fax machine.

The cars moving in a fashion akin to blood vessels In heavily constricted veins,
not going anywhere.

My beer is slowly getting warmer,
They say the same thing about the planet.

Hopefully someone will finish the drink soon.









I hate it, constructive criticism is welcome.
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Old 04-21-2009, 07:34 AM   #2
CrimsonPythonidae
 
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sometimes home, more time away.
Posts: 234
I actually kind of like it, also I'm glad to see you're back : )

The line about the birds I'm not keen on, not sure why . . I like the rest, and it does make me want a beer.
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