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Old 04-30-2015, 12:31 PM   #1
tonyjames
 
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Question Dating a Goth Girl?

I have a question which I hope can be answered. I am a 28 year old non-Goth but have a soft spot for girls who are Gothically inclined. It is not just the aesthetic that I like, but the personality and freedom of being able to stand out in a world where fitting in is often viewed as being of utmost importance.

Would a Goth Girl date a non-Goth? If so, what advice would you give to a non-Goth dating a Goth? Another query I have is how would you describe an 'average' Goth girl?

Any information, advice, tips or opinions will be greatly received.


Thank You
Tony
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Old 05-02-2015, 09:45 AM   #2
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To answer your questuions:

1 - Since I don't know every goth girl alive and nor does anyone else, I don't think anyone can answer that. Ask a girl out and see. Goth is a type of music not a religion. There is no reason why a goth girl wouldn't date you.

Have you listened to any goth? If not start with the basics, Bauhaus, Sisters of mercy, Sex Gang Children, Alien Sex Fiend, Specimen ect ect ect. Go on youtube and look those bands up, they will lead you to more bands of a similar variety, and probably some of the "offshoots" musically speaking.

Knowing about the music will if nothing else show to any goth ladies who interest you, that you have a basic knowledge of the sort of music the whole subculture is based around, and are not simply ogling the clothing and outward appearance .

If you end up with a goth you will end up listening to that kind of music at some point on nights out or at home , so even if it's not your cup of tea you will have to learn to put up with it in some way ( and vice versa )

I say this because while nights out are not the be all and end all, you are going to BOTH have to learn to accomodate each other's tastes in music, clothing, film, culture, friends ect.
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Old 06-13-2015, 06:21 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by honeythorn View Post
To answer your questuions:

1 - Since I don't know every goth girl alive and nor does anyone else, I don't think anyone can answer that. Ask a girl out and see. Goth is a type of music not a religion. There is no reason why a goth girl wouldn't date you.

Have you listened to any goth? If not start with the basics, Bauhaus, Sisters of mercy, Sex Gang Children, Alien Sex Fiend, Specimen ect ect ect. Go on youtube and look those bands up, they will lead you to more bands of a similar variety, and probably some of the "offshoots" musically speaking.

Knowing about the music will if nothing else show to any goth ladies who interest you, that you have a basic knowledge of the sort of music the whole subculture is based around, and are not simply ogling the clothing and outward appearance .

If you end up with a goth you will end up listening to that kind of music at some point on nights out or at home , so even if it's not your cup of tea you will have to learn to put up with it in some way ( and vice versa )

I say this because while nights out are not the be all and end all, you are going to BOTH have to learn to accomodate each other's tastes in music, clothing, film, culture, friends ect.
A type of music? Is that all? Not for me.
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Old 06-13-2015, 06:40 AM   #4
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There is no reason why a goth girl wouldn't date you.
I can think of several, none of which pertain to her being goth. They really pertain more to the stereotypical idea that goths and non-goths don't mingle and that you have to have a special license to date a person who identify as goth.


Boatswain: That is all around which the entire goth subculture is based. Everything else usually can be labeled differently. But goth as a particular label refers to the music, that is all.

tonyjames: The best advice to give you is to take a moment and realize that goth girls are people, not "goth girl entities from a different world".
You can't give general advice about dating goth girls any more than you can about dating non-goth girls. Everyone is different and unique. So really, treat everyone like an equal and you're getting there.
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Old 06-13-2015, 07:09 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Timeless Rebellion View Post
I can think of several, none of which pertain to her being goth. They really pertain more to the stereotypical idea that goths and non-goths don't mingle and that you have to have a special license to date a person who identify as goth.


Boatswain: That is all around which the entire goth subculture is based. Everything else usually can be labeled differently. But goth as a particular label refers to the music, that is all.

tonyjames: The best advice to give you is to take a moment and realize that goth girls are people, not "goth girl entities from a different world".
You can't give general advice about dating goth girls any more than you can about dating non-goth girls. Everyone is different and unique. So really, treat everyone like an equal and you're getting there.
Hmm... if you say so. I am into Gothic stuff but not the music. Is there a different label for me? Am I not welcome here?
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Old 06-13-2015, 10:56 AM   #6
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Hmm... if you say so. I am into Gothic stuff but not the music. Is there a different label for me? Am I not welcome here?
There most probably is a different label for you - I myself prefer to identify as awesome
Everyone is welcome here - you get back what you put in. If you're nice and respectful, people will likely be nice and respectful to you. And the other way around as well.
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Old 06-14-2015, 12:16 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by tonyjames View Post
I have a question which I hope can be answered. I am a 28 year old non-Goth but have a soft spot for girls who are Gothically inclined. It is not just the aesthetic that I like, but the personality and freedom of being able to stand out in a world where fitting in is often viewed as being of utmost importance.

Would a Goth Girl date a non-Goth? If so, what advice would you give to a non-Goth dating a Goth? Another query I have is how would you describe an 'average' Goth girl?

Any information, advice, tips or opinions will be greatly received.


Thank You
Tony
I suppose. It would depend on the girl obviously, but I don't see why it couldn't occur. I think the best answer I could give would be to find some sort of common ground (interests, hobbies, work, etc), and go with that. Always be respectful and friendly.

I don't know if I could describe the "average" goth girl. It really varies.
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Old 06-21-2015, 09:44 AM   #8
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Goth Girls are not all that freedom loving. Even if reading the thread, everyone has is critical and ocd ridden. She is probably the same. I hate people thinking I am some kind of bohemian or hippy, because I chose to wear different clothes and find it important to stick up for human rights. I not some freaking free ride or love mistress. I bet bohemians and hippies are not really that open-minded and other bullshit.
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Old 06-22-2015, 07:05 PM   #9
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Talk to her like you would any other girl. Ask her about her favourite music or movies and follow through and listen/watch them, then you'll have something to talk about next time.

And whatever you do, don't try to change her. She is who she is, and if she chooses to change then that's her choice.
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Old 06-30-2015, 12:46 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Catch View Post
Goth Girls are not all that freedom loving. Even if reading the thread, everyone has is critical and ocd ridden. She is probably the same. I hate people thinking I am some kind of bohemian or hippy, because I chose to wear different clothes and find it important to stick up for human rights. I not some freaking free ride or love mistress. I bet bohemians and hippies are not really that open-minded and other bullshit.
Hahaha! I actually went through an embarrassing hippie phase. Most of the people are jerks, honestly.
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Old 06-30-2015, 12:50 AM   #11
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I honestly prefer at the least guys who are alternative. Y'know, punks and goths. I like tattoos quite a bit.
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