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Old 07-01-2011, 04:10 PM   #1
Timeless Rebellion
 
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The best way to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

1. Get a supertanker.
2. Fill it up with canned foods that will last indefinately. (Please ensure that there is enough different food types here so you won't die from malnutrition)
3. Get on the boat and sail out where the zombies can't reach you. Everyone knows zombies can't swim.
4. Wait the 10 or 20 years it will take for the zombies to die due to lack of human flesh.

Congratulations, you just survived the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:04 PM   #2
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It wouldn't take 10-20 years. Zombies decay and it only takes a few weeks or months for a body to decay bad enough that they couldn't walk or move. The ones that would be really gross are the ones at the bloat stage when the enzymes in the body start breaking organ tissue down and producing gas.
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:08 PM   #3
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Yeah, that was my final solution as well.

There's a problem with the theory though.

You're not the only one that thought of this solution. I know it too. So does many others. So... can your tanker house an entire town for the duration of the plague?

Try again, dude.
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:11 PM   #4
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All you have to do is stock up on lots of guns and bullets or learn to swing something heavy with brain-smashing accuracy. Geez, people are so adverse to a little work.
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:13 PM   #5
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I thought the solution was to become a vampire beforehand?
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:21 PM   #6
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If you were a vampire who would you feed on when the humans all die off? Then again, with the super strength and all they could set he humans up in safe houses to ensure the food supply. They could even breed a healthier food supply! Vampire eugenics.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:08 PM   #7
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Well, if we go by Grausamkeit's thesis that the zombies actually decay instead of going inactive and die off, then you would really need to stock less food, therefore you could actually stock it all in a yacht or something similar.
One would simply just need to become rich and then buy a large boat.

I can think of worse fates than cruising around on the open seas in a yacht for a few months.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:20 PM   #8
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Kill all zombies.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:51 PM   #9
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That must be Plan B.
Plan A is to hide.
Plan C is nuke the Earth.
Plan D is to scream loudly while being eaten by the zombie masses.
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Old 07-01-2011, 09:41 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Grausamkeit View Post
If you were a vampire who would you feed on when the humans all die off? Then again, with the super strength and all they could set he humans up in safe houses to ensure the food supply. They could even breed a healthier food supply! Vampire eugenics.
http://lastblood.keenspot.com/
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:10 PM   #11
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Bullshit. Here's the best way:
Make a treadmill circle around your base. Zombies can't work treadmills; they'll keep walking and staying in the same place.
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:46 PM   #12
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http://www.cracked.com/article_18683...l-quickly.html

There are many other things that would kill them off before starvation kicked in sure.
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Old 07-02-2011, 03:02 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Timeless Rebellion View Post
1. Get a supertanker.
2. Fill it up with canned foods that will last indefinately. (Please ensure that there is enough different food types here so you won't die from malnutrition)
3. Get on the boat and sail out where the zombies can't reach you. Everyone knows zombies can't swim.
4. Wait the 10 or 20 years it will take for the zombies to die due to lack of human flesh.

Congratulations, you just survived the Zombie Apocalypse.
How do we know zombies can't swim? Dead bodies can float, and humans even from infancy can swim, so why cant a dead animated corpse swim?
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Old 07-02-2011, 03:05 AM   #14
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TR - you need to add water to your list of supplies, or a desalination plant.

Personally, I'm just going to fly above the fuckers and eat off the corpses, while Versus goes all badass on them.

I'll keep you current with updates on how badass Versus is, although I think Saya would be equally as badass with her knitting needles - or does killing zombies go against the vegan lifestyle/ethics?
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Old 07-02-2011, 03:11 AM   #15
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TR - you need to add water to your list of supplies, or a desalination plant.

Personally, I'm just going to fly above the fuckers and eat off the corpses, while Versus goes all badass on them.

I'll keep you current with updates on how badass Versus is, although I think Saya would be equally as badass with her knitting needles - or does killing zombies go against the vegan lifestyle/ethics?
I think killing the homicidal undead is okay. I'll consult with Zombie Gandhi to be sure though.
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Old 07-02-2011, 06:04 AM   #16
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Fruitbat - Feasting on the undead would turn you, even if it is only their blood.
Renatus - If they can swim, I'd best add barbed wires and spears to my supply list. Also, I'd strap on a lot of chainsaws on the boat and sail them to death.
Fucking ownage! Yeah!
I doubt they can swim though, because really, they don't have the intelligence.
And how are they gonna find me on the high seas?
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Old 07-02-2011, 06:37 AM   #17
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In World War Z they walk across the bottom, so you have to be very careful not to go in shallow water.
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Old 07-02-2011, 11:38 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Timeless Rebellion View Post
Fruitbat - Feasting on the undead would turn you, even if it is only their blood.
Renatus - If they can swim, I'd best add barbed wires and spears to my supply list. Also, I'd strap on a lot of chainsaws on the boat and sail them to death.
Fucking ownage! Yeah!
I doubt they can swim though, because really, they don't have the intelligence.
And how are they gonna find me on the high seas?
How do they find anyone? they just keep going until they find more brains.
Like I said, they can float, and if bacteria can swim, anyone can learn to swim.
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Old 07-02-2011, 09:48 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timeless Rebellion View Post
Fruitbat - Feasting on the undead would turn you, even if it is only their blood.
Renatus - If they can swim, I'd best add barbed wires and spears to my supply list. Also, I'd strap on a lot of chainsaws on the boat and sail them to death.
Fucking ownage! Yeah!
I doubt they can swim though, because really, they don't have the intelligence.
And how are they gonna find me on the high seas?
It's okay TR, I'm immune to Zombie-ness. Invite Bruce Campbell onto your boat, because he can fight the undead, then I'll have an excuse to visit your ship.

Ooh if the zombies go into the water, what if the sharks eat them and then you get zombie sharks?
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Old 07-03-2011, 07:32 AM   #20
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I was thinking more along the lines of nicking an aircraft carrier and using the deck to grow shit like carrots and shit. 'course it's a long shot but yknow.
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:24 AM   #21
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I think I'd clear a prison and hide out there. High walls, with self contained yards for getting that daily dose of fresh air, kitchens, shower blocks and cells, lots and lots of cells so if anyone turned, I could lock those fuckers down easily. Not a perfect plan but it could work with some careful planning, I think.
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:30 AM   #22
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I'd probably kick-bomb an eighteen wheeler, then drive around like Mad Max with the top down (i.e. blown the fuck off) singing Dixieland loudly in my tuneless wail. Just 'cause I've always wanted to do that.
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Old 07-03-2011, 10:17 AM   #23
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I think I'd clear a prison and hide out there. High walls, with self contained yards for getting that daily dose of fresh air, kitchens, shower blocks and cells, lots and lots of cells so if anyone turned, I could lock those fuckers down easily. Not a perfect plan but it could work with some careful planning, I think.
Someone's read The Walking Dead!
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Old 07-03-2011, 11:10 AM   #24
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The best way to survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

.


If it gets really, REALLY bad ...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


... walk out of the movie theater.

.
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Old 07-05-2011, 12:11 AM   #25
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All you need is one of these...

http://www.worldcarfans.com/11106273...top-gear-video
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