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Shill Post your website announcements here. Anything that is blatantly SPAM (nigerian schemes, make money fast, etc) will be deleted. Actually, we'd probably keep the nigerian schemes around to make fun of it.

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Old 10-02-2011, 11:25 PM   #1
pothead
 
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Will you accept Jesus as your savior, and Lord??????

I am writing to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ the only begotten son of God, and to tell you about the prayer of salvation. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have ever lasting life. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. You are saved by grace threw faith not by works. Jesus was the la...mb of God, he died on the cross for you.

Now Jesus had to die for your sin because God says in his word that without the shedding of blood there is no remission for sin, which means there is no forgiveness for sin without the shedding of blood. Jesus was born of a virgin, and lived a sinless life, and did many mighty miracles. He healed many people, and done many good works. Sin is what separates us from God, it is lying, stealing, murdering, anything that breaks the law of God. Jesus died for your sin so that if you believe in him you won't have to go to hell when you die, but will have eternal life in heaven.

Now Jesus died, and was buried in a tomb, but was rose from the dead by God the father on the third day. After being rose from the dead Jesus walked the earth, and preached for 40 days, then he ascended up into heaven to sit on the right hand of God the father. Now That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
...

Now please everyone who want to go to heaven pray with me by using your mouth and speaking pray this with me. Please Pray ( dear Jesus I believe that you died on the Cross from my sins, I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and I know I can't save myself. I ask you to come into my heart, and save me, and forgive me of my sins. I confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, I repent of my sin. I accept you as my Lord, and savior I call upon your name Lord Jesus amen) Remember Jesus loves you!!

Now if you prayed this prayer, said it out aloud, and believed in Jesus. you are saved, which means you going to heaven.

Also remember Jesus's commandment which is Gods new law, which is love thy neighbor as thyself, and love God with all thy heart, love everybody. Love is what God requires. Also salvation is permanent you can't ever loose it ever not even if you sin, or because of sin. Also it doesn't matter how bad, or good you are, you can't get into heaven by being a good person, or by trying to be good, for the bible which is Gods word gave to men to write, says that all have sinned, and that there is none good, but God.

So will you pray the prayer of salvation????????????
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Old 10-02-2011, 11:39 PM   #2
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I forget if you're a troll, seems like it.

Your theology sucks. One prayer and moment of faith and you're saved forever and ever? By whose authority, yours? God's? Even if by God's, you're human, you cannot proclaim without fallibility, thus you cannot promise that scuh an act guarantees perfect and permanent salvation. In short; your theology sucks.
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Old 10-02-2011, 11:55 PM   #3
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theology

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Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey View Post
I forget if you're a troll, seems like it.

Your theology sucks. One prayer and moment of faith and you're saved forever and ever? By whose authority, yours? God's? Even if by God's, you're human, you cannot proclaim without fallibility, thus you cannot promise that scuh an act guarantees perfect and permanent salvation. In short; your theology sucks.
I can prove it by the bible. once your born again you can never become unborn can you? and Jesus promissed us eternal life in him if we believe and confess that he is Lord, I proclaim this on my authority, something that God already said God gave me the authority to tell you the gospel, really it is a comandment of God that I tell you the good news of Jesus dieing for your sins, and for you, so that you can have eternal life. So will you pray the prayer of salvation?
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:34 AM   #4
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Jesus is God in the flesh by the way
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:13 AM   #5
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SCC, go with your instincts.. it is a troll.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:16 AM   #6
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Really? Is this serious? You can have your religion and eat it too, but we don't have to. I'm a devout omniversalist. I also believe that your religion is saying the same thing as anybody's. Live a good life and treat all humans with kindness and respect and you will go to this awesome castle in the sky. Be a douche, and you get to go to hell or be born a saprophyte. Evangelism is in your actions, not your words.
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Old 10-03-2011, 02:21 AM   #7
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this is serious
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:01 PM   #8
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Jesus can suck my cock.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:07 PM   #9
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I can prove it by the bible.
That's cute.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:16 PM   #10
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Jesus christ is alive he rose again on the third day
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:25 PM   #11
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He can prove it by sucking my cock.
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:39 PM   #12
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Jesus can prove it by you accepting him into your heart
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:58 PM   #13
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He'll have to get to her heart through her cock!
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You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
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Old 10-03-2011, 05:26 PM   #14
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgFRVqsgP1k

I am no feeble Christ, not me
He hangs in glib delight upon his cross, upon his cross,
Above my body, lowly me
Christ forgive, forgive?
Holy He, He holy, He holy?
Shit He forgives, Forgive? Forgive?
I? I? Me? I? I vomit for you Jesu
Christi Christus
Puke upon your papal throne
Wrapped I am in the muddy cloud
Of hellish genocide
Petulant child
I have suffered for you
Where you have never known me
I too must die
Will you be shadowed in the arrogance of my death?
Your valley truth
What light pass those pious heights?
What passing bells for these in their trucks?
For you lord.
You are the flag-bearer of these nations
One against the other that die in the mud
No piety. No deity
Is that your forgiveness?
Saint. Martyr. Goat. Billy.
Forgive? Shit he forgives
He hangs upon his cross
In self-righteous judgment
Hangs in crucified delight
Nailed to the extend of His vision
His cross. His manhood. His violence. Guilt. Sin.
He would nail my body upon his cross
As if I might have waited for him in the garden
As if I might have perfumed His body
Washed those bloody feet
This woman that he seeks
Suicide visionary. Death reveller. Rake. Rapist.
Gravedigger. Earthmover. Lifefucker. Jesu.
You scooped the pits of Auschwitz
The soil of Treblinka is rich in your guilt
The sorrow of your tradition
Your stupid humility is the crown of thorn we all must wear.
For you. Ha. Master. Master of gore. Enigma. Stigma. Stigmata. Errata. Eraser.
The cross is the mast of our oppression.
You fly there, vain flag.
You carry it, wear it on your back, Lord. Your back.
Enola is your gaiety.
Suffer little children (to come unto me)
Suffer in that horror. Hirohorror. Hirrohiro. Hiroshimmer. Shimmerhiro.
Hiroshima. Hiroshima. Hiroshima. Hiroshima.
The bodies are your delight
The incandescent flame is the spirit of it
They come to you Jesu. To you
The nails are the only trinity
Hold them in your corpsey gracelessness
The image that I have had to suffer
These nails at my temple
The cross is the virgin body of womanhood
That you defile
In your guilt you turn your back
Nailed to that body
Lame-arse Jesus calls me sister
There are no words for my contempt
Every woman is a cross in filthy theology
He turns His back on me in His fear
His vain delight is that pain I bear
Alone He hangs. His choice. His choice
Alone. Alone. His voice. His voice
He shares nothing, this Christ
Sterile. Impotent. Fucklove prophet of death
He's the ultimate pornography
He. He. Hear us Jesus
You sigh alone in your cockfear
You lie alone in your cuntfear.
You cry alone in your womanfear.
You die alone in you manfear.
Alone Jesu, alone
In your cockfear. Cuntfear. Womanfear. Manfear.
Alone in your fear. Alone in your fear. Alone in your fear.
Your fear. Your fear. Your fear. Your fear. Your fear. Your fear. Your fear.
Warfare. Warfare. Warfare. Warfare. Warfare.
Jesus died for his own sins. Not mine.

-CRASS
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:21 PM   #15
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He'll have to get to her heart through her cock!
Damn straight! That's the only way to get to a girl's heart...through her cock.
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:29 PM   #16
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Damn straight! That's the only way to get to a girl's heart...through her cock.
Zombie Jesus is going to suck your cock so he can eat your heart?

That's what I'm taking away from this thread. That, and only that.
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Old 10-03-2011, 07:42 PM   #17
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Jesus is not gay
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Old 10-03-2011, 07:46 PM   #18
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What does being gay have to do with sucking cock?

Jesus-assraping-Mary....
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Old 10-03-2011, 07:58 PM   #19
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Jesus is not gay
HA! I got off the train this afternoon to find a "My Story Finding God" flyer stuck under my windshield wiper (I do live in Georgia, after all). Upon seeing it, my husband looked straight at me and said "Jesus loves me," only to turn away and mutter "...in deeply carnal, sexual way." Such a funny coincidence. Which, clearly, proves that Jesus is gay.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:31 PM   #20
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I can prove it by the bible.

Too bad I don't read much fiction.
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:07 PM   #21
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the bible is a history book it isnt fiction
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:33 PM   #22
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It's been proven to be a highly inaccurate, largely apocryphal "history" book, contributed to by dozens of non-source-checked human writers over an extended period of time, then edited and translated by kings and other fools.

And it's pages make lousy rolling papers.
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:46 PM   #23
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And it's pages make lousy rolling papers.
For some reason, I've always heard the opposite. Oh well... never tried to do it myself.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:31 PM   #24
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I will never use a bible for rolling papers
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:40 PM   #25
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For some reason, I've always heard the opposite. Oh well... never tried to do it myself.
The pages are nice and thin, but think about it. Do you really want to smoke that ink? The whole bible smokes is usually a prison thing, where you don't have anything else to roll with. It'll work, but if you don't have to why the fuck would you?
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Through lifeless eyes I can still see
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Who condones this bloodlust?

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