Ehhhhh....hello?

Don't Look Behind You · 07-16-2006, 03:19 PM

Hi everyone. I am new here, maybe you already noticed that.
Summer....I hate summer. It is so boring here in Vienna, I could die (that's actually not all that bad, now that I think of it). Been talking to my cat the last few days...everyone else is gone.
And now I'm here, so someone talk to me!
The basics about myself: My real name is Morgana, I am russian but I live in Vienna. I donno whether I could call myself gothic or not but I just have the tendancy to see beauty in the darkest things. A chaos is my favorite way of existance. My Englisch teacher once asked me how have I managed to stay alive with such negative views on life. I didn't bother explaining that it is only because of this that I live. I see everything the way it is and don't make any hopes or illusions. I accept all the shit in this world and that gives me space to breath freely and do what I want to do. That even makes me happy.
But enough of my life philosophy. It's not all that important, is it? Anyway, I am here to meet people and with this post I am trying to just say "Hello!"

Alaizabel Cray · 07-16-2006, 03:36 PM

Hello Morgana! I've always wanted to visit Vienna...
You sound like me; not sugar-coating things for yourself, but simply accepting them and living life. Personally, I love that there is always a darker side to things, it's just so beautiful somehow. A lot of my friends thing I'm just being morbid, but I honestly just find it so amazing.
Talking to your cat, haha, wow, you are like me. Except I tend to talk to my bearded dragon; I don't have a cat.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-16-2006, 04:19 PM

Yeah, a dragon does sound better! But my cat is also a monster...and she, eh, talks back. She sais "miao" or "mrrrrr" exactly at the right moments.
Yeah, I am glad that you see my point of view. Ever since I've been living in Vienna I have had to get used to being considered "wierd". I laugh at the wrong things, make comments after which there is always a slight pause. It's part of my identity even.
Infact, it's even fun. Knowing that one is an outsider but also being completely aware of the fact that everyone sees you and wants to know what you are. I watch from a distance and wait for my chance to shock them and then to draw back again.

About visiting Vienna...I think you would like it if you ever do so. But please, don't be one of those tourists that sits in a bus and gawks at the whole city, trying to see everything but then seeing nothing. I always hated such tourists.
Infact, especialy now Vienna is full of tourists...every second person here is a tourist. Vienna would be a dead town if it wasn't for the tourists. In the evenings, all the normal, law obeying, good viennise sit at home and the only life there is comes from the tourists (most of whom are Russian, by the way).

Alaizabel Cray · 07-16-2006, 04:52 PM

Haha, my dragon desn't talk back sadly, but he has really expressive eyes. When I start just talking because it's too quiet, and not really saying anything that means anything he tilts his head to the side and gives me this "What's your problem?" kind of look.
I've always been the "weird" kid too. The people at school who don't really know me tend to refer to me as "that psycho chick in my such-and-such class". I kind of like it, as you said, knowing everyone's waiting for you to do or say something strange.
Haha, I can't stand tourists who do that either. Every time I've gone on a trip and been forced onto the tour bus I've felt like an idiot. I'd much rather go around on my own and see things for myself, and be able to spend as much time looking at things as I want, rather than having to go back later becuase the bus driver moved on right as I was noticing something really cool.

angel011 · 07-17-2006, 10:01 AM

Can you please answer the questions posted here: http://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=1644

That way we can all get to know you a little better.

Welcome!

Don't Look Behind You · 07-17-2006, 12:35 PM

Well, alright, here are the required answers.

1. What do you do? (Hobbies, job)
I have a summer job that involves asking people on the street about their job...very, eh, exciting.
2. Where are you from?
I am russian but I live in Vienna
3. Who is your favorite author?
O. That will be a long list. I like any book that has an interesting idea. I love Kafka, for example.
4. What are your favorite films?
I like old russian and french films. The french really know how to make films. A few days ago I watched one, I think it was called "last tango in Paris"or something like that. But in general I don't watch the TV much.
5. What music do you want played at your wedding?
some traditional Armanian song.
6. At your funeral?
If there will be one, a classical requiem. Enough of being original.
7. This IS a gothic website, so... how do you want to die?
slit my wrists and be found in a bath tub full of my blood and with a cigarette in my hand
8. What kind of casket would you want?
A suicider gets no funeral, so no casket
9. What's your FAVORITE outfit?
I have a really comfortable long black skirt made out of a light material and with really nice lace. As long as I have that on, any outfit is my favorite.
10. What's one thing you miss about being a little kid?
being forgiven all the trouble I make
11. What's your favorite band?
That will also be a long list.
12. What kind of education do you have? What is/was/will be your major?
I go to a gymnasium still.
13. Why did you join?
I was terribly bored
14. If the first 13 questions didn't give it away. What is your gender?
female.

Godslayer Jillian · 07-17-2006, 02:02 PM

Oh, how goth, a suicide.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-17-2006, 02:06 PM

I sense sarcasm

Godslayer Jillian · 07-17-2006, 02:08 PM

I have suicidal tendencies, and I hate suicidal people that don't do anything about their problem. And I hate people that talk suicide without having a real psychological problem all the worse.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-17-2006, 02:25 PM

So I was right about the sarcasm. Just know, I have tried to kill myself three times, the first time at 11. Wehenever anything goes wrong that is the first thing I think of and that answer was honest. That is the way I wish to die. What a looser must I be if I tried to kill myself three times and didn't manage it once. I will manage it sometime, hopefully not soon, but never the less.
You don't know me, so please don't judge people so quickly. I am not trying to appear goth or super cool. I don't even call myself goth. I am here simply to meet new people that posibly think like I do.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-17-2006, 02:29 PM

And i do things about my problem.....and since you have "suicidal tendancies" yourself, you must know how difficult it is.

I have read some of your other posts. You are very strickt with the newcomers. I suppose that mekes sense, there are many idiots in the world. I do not consider myself one of them. I am not, as I already said, trying to appear super goth and start the whole "I am more goth that you" shit. I wish you could keep that in mind

Godslayer Jillian · 07-17-2006, 06:54 PM

I know it's hard, but I'm living proof that it is possible. No problem deserves death as a way out, that's just weak.

happy_dude · 07-17-2006, 11:35 PM

Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Remember that. You wrote a lot, I'm tired I just read the comments, I'm an arsehole.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-18-2006, 03:29 AM

Okay, now that we started this subject...Yes, I am very weak, I know it. It's my personal little dirty problem that I'm going to have to figure out some time.
I am quite aware that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and as you see I am still alive, which is connected with this awareness.
And now I think all are tired of this subject.

happy_dude · 07-18-2006, 03:44 AM

Sorry, I read that somewhere awhile back, I've been wanting to use it and this seamt appropriate. I am sorry if I have offended you.
You are still alive, keep up the good work.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-18-2006, 04:16 AM

HAh! I never get offended, but I do get pissed.
It was a pretty expression...and I think Ive also read it somewhere.

And now I'm off to keep working on staying alive. A dead body can't pick mom up from the airport.

Draconysius · 07-18-2006, 01:59 PM

Well, go for it. You seem like an interesting person, at least. Suicide is your decision, and aesthetics are never written in stone.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-18-2006, 02:43 PM

Well, good that you accept it, but don't get ready for my funeral so fast. I think I'll stick around for a while. This plan of mine has no due date.
And people lke me change very fast. My values have gone head over heels during the last year and the year before as well.

angel011 · 07-19-2006, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don't Look Behind You

HAh! I never get offended, but I do get pissed.
It was a pretty expression...and I think Ive also read it somewhere.

And now I'm off to keep working on staying alive. A dead body can't pick mom up from the airport.

A ressurected dead body (a vampire or a zombie, perhaps) could pick mom up from the airport.

I'm not sure mom would be happy about the whole thing, though.

Don't Look Behind You · 07-19-2006, 02:11 PM

Infact, today i am a vampire. The whole day I have been siting in a dark appartement with drawn curtains and can't read or go outside.
And all of this because of the eye-doctor or whatever he's called. They poured this stuff into my eyes, waved around with a light and then said, just go home, your pupils will be normal by tomorrow. As soon as i ended up outside I understood why the sun destroys vampires. I couldn't keep my eyes open and the way home from there takes maybe an hour...and the sun is unfortunately everywhere.
I didn't get to see the strange looks all the people gave me as I walked with my hands covering my eyes, but I can imagine it. No way will i go to that stupid doctor again. And I don't only feel like a vampire, I look like one too (if I don't open my mouth) because my eyes are all red on the rims from that stuff.
So being a vampire is nothing to brag about...and so I think the next time an idiot in school calls me "wanna-be vampire" I really will get offended. Or I'll just suck every drop of blood out of his body

angel011 · 07-20-2006, 02:00 AM

Aw, come on, there's more to being a vampire than just be bothered by the sun!

Why did they call you "wanna-be vampire"?

Blood is not exactly tasty, by the way, so I don't know if you'd really like to suck his.

cradle · 07-20-2006, 07:00 AM

The taste of blood can vary with the amount of iron in the blood.
(Don't ask how i know this)

Don't Look Behind You · 07-20-2006, 07:15 AM

Then I will make sure he swallows an iron rod and then i#ll see how the taste changes.

I sure hope there is more to being a vampire than hiding form the sun, because today I am still a vampire and I couldn't even go outside to buy a pack of cigarettes. I will have to wait for it to get dark just to finally get a smoke. And my cat is getting kind of hungry.

This guy called me a wanna-be vampire because he just didn't know how else to pick on me. He is one of those small bully-guys that shows his soft side only when there is no other guy around for miles.
He was lke, "Just go away, you, you...you WANNA-BE VAMPIRE, you!"
I just had to start laughing my head off and so now everyone calls me that.

cradle · 07-20-2006, 07:58 AM

Try wearing sunglasses, the really dark ones.

angel011 · 07-20-2006, 08:31 AM

Quote:

And my cat is getting kind of hungry.

Poor cat. Feed her soon!

For your sake, I hope the cat isn't big enough to consider you a meal.