Rant Thread

[A Simple Poet]

I am so very bored.

I know many people here may not put stock in the Bible, but Ecclesiasties is a good read. I reeally dig it because all is nothing but vanity. It really is. But at least Solomon went and did this. What the bloody hell have I done in my thirty one years!?!?

I just sit and think about how responsible an adult I have been and have to be to keep my family afloat financially and it sickens me. I have to punch a clock at a job populated by acerebral howler monkeys and a customer base gravid with neanderthals. I know I went to college ... twice ... for this. I have an accumulation of useless knowledge because it doesn't matter to most people unless they can market it somehow and I so very much hate where I live because I have lived here for thirty years but my dear wife is closely bonded with her family and they aren't leaving anytime soon. I have fresh invigoration in my literary life for a genre but very little energy to write it. I'm getting older, fatter, and watching with curiosity the interesting patterns my vericose veins are weaving.

I keep thinking .... "Quiet Desperation", "Quiet Desperation", "Quiet Despertation"

God Bless Thoreau...

[TwistedKitsune]

Pardon my seething hatred and intense dislike here for a moment if you will.

I'm about ready to go off on my brother. In some of the most extreme senses of the phrase. So, here's the setup that started the tirade that just went on in my household. Today was the first day of his spring break so, logically, he sat around and did absolutely nothing today, sat around on his fat lazy ass. That, in and of itself, doesn't exceptionally bother anyone, that's all he ever does for the most part. What does bother my mom, my dad, and myself (wow, we agree on something) is the fact that he decided to skip his karate class simply because he didn't feel like it. No real reason, he just was being a lazy ass and didn't go. My dad cleans the dojo twice a week just so my brother and he can take those classes.

Even that isn't a horrible offense, we all have off days on occassion. However, he does this almost every chance he can get and, most of the time, my mom just doesn't have the energy to argue with him over it and so she lets it slide. Well, instead of letting it slide, today my mom told him he was being a lazy bum and that she was a bit disgusted and dissappointed with his unwillingness to make up what he'd missed while he had legitimate reasons to. He then got offended that my mother said something like that; something that, in my opionion, is far milder a statement than he deserves.

He's now bitching my mom out and trying to insist that he gives absolutely 100% of his effort in everything he does and he's really just lying through his teeth. My mom finally said something about his lack of motivation and he turns it around on her. She may be horrible as far as most parenting skills go, but never let it be said that she doesn't work more than my brother does, by at least two times, if not three.

I cannot stand my brother and his excuses and his idiotic attempts at trying to fool every single person in my family into thinking that he's a model human being. My mom is finally waking up to what an IDIOT, and a LIAR he is. Finally starting to realize how much bullshit he's fed her through the years. I cannot even begin to explain how much I dislike everything about the kind of person my younger brother is.

He's yelling at her, and bitching her out, and pulling this high-handed attitude that would have gotten me slammed into more things than I could count if I had tried it at that age...and I'm fucking SICK of it. It'd be one thing if he just were that way, without comment. The fact that he tries to defend what a disgusting person he is it what provokes my intense feeling of dislike for him.

Oh, and I adore his response to my telling him to just shut up and go to his room like mom told him to do about 5 times (something I couldn't hold in after being yelled over for about 20 minutes with no way to get out of the room). He said, "Pull your head out of your ass you bitch and realize that this has not a single fucking thing to do with you, and then you try shutting up because no one cares what you have to say!"

He's THIRTEEN!!! How the HELL he got away with that with nothing less than my mother telling him to go to his room for a 6th time is still a mystery to me. I, at the age of 18, get pushed into doorframes for not going to sleep when my mom wants me too, and he says all that and gets, uneffectively, sent to his room for a 6th time....

*Fumes*

[WolfMoon]

Jill, it will get better, love. Not much time has passed and you still need to vent/cry/whathaveyou. It took me no less than 3 months to get over my first love at the tender age of 13.
*HUGZ*

Santarea, I know how you feel, love. I seem to only be able to hurt the ones I love the most. But there is nothing shinier than you. Don't ever believe there is!
*HUGZ*

Kit, your brother is an ass. Your parents need to be more firm with him and quit letting him slide. He's 13 he shouldn't be allowed to get away with shouting at your mother. If I'd yelled at my mom at that age I would've been slapped silly. The best you can do is ignore him, I guess. As much as I fought with my siblings, I don't advocate violence. It's a horrible thing when parents treat their children unfairly.

The good thing is Spring Break is only a week long. Though that'll be a long week for you, sweetie.
*HUGZ*

[TwistedKitsune]

Wolfie thanks for the hugz doll! Why, oh why did my spring break have to line up with his!? I can barely stand him in day to day, barely seeing him, doses. My brain may blow several gaskets, fry several circuits, and is in no way, shape, or form, going to get any better stuck with him for the week. I ignore him as much as possible, and as much as I dispair at the loss of the relationship we had when we were younger, he's changing for the worse and not willing to admit his faults at this point in time. For the sake of my sanity and emotional wellbeing I can't try to turn him back into the decent human being that he used to be. He uses his high anxiety diagnosis as a scapegoat for everything and, whenever something gets too difficult for him to work his way out of, he throws it in my mother's face that she must not care about him at all if she won't let him sit around and do nothing. He's gotten good at throwing the "I might as well just kill myself" card in their faces and, considering how many of my friends have taken their own lives, my mother is terrified by just the suggestion of it. Just...ugh. I'm gonna stop ranting about it now because my head is starting to hurt worse the more I talk about it, and I could honestly keep going on forever.

[bunnicula]

Ugh. I had an internship site all lined up for next year, but they gave my site to another student without even telling me because they want me to work with women, and the site I wanted was mostly men. The site I wanted was fairly close to my house, and I have already met the supervisor there, and he is super cool. Now I have to drive about 1.5 hours each way to this place, and Not even get paid. I'm sure it will be a good experience but I absolutely hate to drive, especially in the rain (which is all the time here). I also hate when people don't call me back. And I hate waiting for stuff. That is all.

[bjork_freak]

Two cups of coffee, one Berry Boo Koo energy drink (which is actually "3 drinks in 1!" ..I guess their proud of it), and two fruit juices. I had so much caffeine that my stomach felt like it was being mutilated by rusty knives and lit cigarettes. It took seven Tums to fix the problem.

[spookypurple]

Unrelated rant. I'm having to miss my mate's leaving do tomorrow because another rehearsal's been called (with a week to go till we actually do the play!). And she re-organised the date too, so that I could go. Grr. This'll be 5 nights in a row now and it's soul-destroying - not to mention knackering (especially after a long day at work). I'm starting to doubt my own ability/memory. I'm just a big ol' weepy mess at the moment. And this is supposed to be FUN!

Me done now.

[TwistedKitsune]

My head still hurts and, while it's likely entirely unrelated, my hearing is going wonky. I've been to the doctor, they say nothing they can see is physically wrong with my brain. That doesn't make me worry about it any less. Currently my head is hurting so much I'm sick to my stomach...I also feel vaguely dizzy.

[Icarian Decoding]

I figure I need to rant. Why, because maybe someone will listen to what I am about to say.

I have always wondered, "what exactly is my purpose on the internet?". Screw life, I already know my purpose there. But I have always wondered, what is the purpose of "Icarian Decoding", my alter-ego. Perhaps I am here simply to put my input into whatever I wish, or maybe I am here to learn. I don't really know. And it get's really confusing after that point.

On one hand, I can be a nice, gentle, loving person. Yet, on the other hand, I can be a fucktard. It's odd, because one side is usually trying to cover the other sides ass. They're not fighting. It's more of a mutual way of getting each other out of trouble. I mean, take sexuality. One part of me, was actually asking the questions, and giving my opinion. It wasn't trying to troll. Then, when I started laying down my logic, it didn't make sense. Even to me, it seemed bizarre. But it felt, right. Finally, when everyone got all pissed off, and I realized that everyone wasn't going to like me for my opinions, my other-side came up with the whole troll story. To cover my ass. Make it seem like it was a big joke. But it wasn't.

The odder part was, the entire thing was avoidable. The whole thing was started by one side, trying to prove that I could actually hold my ass up in a debate. The other side, the more calm and intelligent one, started bringing up the logic to back it up. One side covering the other's ass. If one of my sides had decided to stop, right then and there, I could have either gotten out with a minor flaming, or I could have kept my calm, and left. But it didn't.

For some reason, this seems like the entire story of my life. Boucing from back, to forth, to back and forth. The thing I find quite ironic is, is that it's worked. It's worked with my teachers, my parents, basically everyone I can see and touch. But it's never worked online.

Or maybe it has, and this is the end result. Then again, this also got me thinking. What if this, right now. This rant I am typing, is my own way of covering my ass. I mean, if people actually do read it, who were offended by me, in sexuality, what are they going to think? What is the purpose of writing this entire thing? Is it just to try and build my reputation, so I can actually be considered serious again, or am I seriously asking the question?

And is that little clause above, the cover-phrase to ensure that it will work in building my reputation, or am I honestly asking? I don't even know anymore. So, what, is my purpose here? Am I honestly here to learn, or am I just here to pull of some big stunt? I would like to think that one side of me is going to keep check of the other, and I am not going to pull any major stunts, but how can I be sure? Right now, I feel like an animal, because both sides have complete control of me. Like, I don't even know which way to turn, or where to go?

Perhaps my whole reason for being on the internet, is to figure out the answer to that question. Why am I telling you, the reader, all of this? I don't know. Maybe I am just looking to air my thoughts somewhere. Perhaps I am looking for sympathy and a handout, which if I hadn't mentioned it, I may have gotten. Perhaps I am trying to find the answer. Who knows? I only know, I am like Pavlov's dog, only I am ringing my own godforsaken bell.

[TwistedKitsune]

Pardon, but why does http://members.cox.net/tuxmask/pics/BSMETER.gif come to mind. I dunno. Don't mind me. My head hurts and I'm pissy.

[Icarian Decoding]

Because you think I'm full of shit, or what I wrote was shit?

[TwistedKitsune]

I dunno. Maybe I put that up there because I don't like the fact that you seem to be continuously trying to justify, explain, and come up with excuses for your actions. I'm not in a tolerant mood tonight and for that reason I'm shutting up before I turn into a psychotic raging bitch.

[Icarian Decoding]

Actually, I feel that you should. If you have a problem with me, I would much rather you call me on it, in the most vile and harsh way you can, rather then pretend to be civilized.

I am continually trying to justify, explain, and come up with excuses for my actions. Mainly, because on hind-sight, I don't understand them.

[TwistedKitsune]

Part of the reason I don't is because, while I have at least 10 little problems with you, there is no one, large, resounding thing about you that I dislike. You just rub me the wrong way on every front. And I rather prefer not to go off on people when I'm a in the mood to be a psychotic raving bitch. I know when to restrain myself thank you and will, reguardless of what you "feel" I should do.

[Icarian Decoding]

Indeed, and I still hold the opinion, that you should rip me a new one, and the offer will still stand.

[Sanctus Dei]

After all that has transpired why would anyone waste even the abuntantly available neurons to create an insult for you, frankly you're not worth the time. I just prefer to leave you with one general idea;

I don't like you... never will. Enjoy the rest of your stay.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by TwistedKitsune

My head still hurts and, while it's likely entirely unrelated, my hearing is going wonky. I've been to the doctor, they say nothing they can see is physically wrong with my brain. That doesn't make me worry about it any less. Currently my head is hurting so much I'm sick to my stomach...I also feel vaguely dizzy.

Hun, have you been checked for Migraines?

I lose some hearing with mine, vomit frequently from the pain, and develop an even greater sensitivity to light.

Here is a bit of information about Migraines;

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000709.htm

They were much worse when I was younger. Now I only get them once or twice a year thankfully. They are hell on Earth when I do get them, and have been known to last for days and days.

I take Er-Caf for mine, which is a mixture of Ergot(Mushroom) and Caffeine. But Imitrex and Midrin also worked well for me.

I also use another headache remedy I learned from my Salvadoranian Nanny, Maria.

This sounds totally whacky, but it does work for some reason.

Get some large Potatos, slice them lengthwise so the pieces are long and wide.

Get a wet washcloth and place the Potatos on your forehead, and the wet washrag over the Potatos. Lay down and rest for at least an hour or more with them in place, in a dark room. Afterwards you should notice that the Potatos seem to shrivel and dehydrate a bit, thats normal.

I know it sounds Looney but it works really well. My Mom and I have been using that remedy she taught us for more than Twenty years now.

Either way, I would talk to your Neurologist about the possibility of Migraines.

Hope you feel better soon Pretty..

*hugs*

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by Icarian Decoding

What is the purpose of writing this entire thing? Is it just to try and build my reputation, so I can actually be considered serious again, or am I seriously asking the question?

This won't happen with me for a long time. It will happen, but not soon. However,

Originally Posted by Icarian Decoding

I am continually trying to justify, explain, and come up with excuses for my actions.

...I think ad hoc justification occurs when you want there to be good reasons for acting like an ass when there aren't any.

Originally Posted by Icarian Decoding

Mainly, because on hind-sight, I don't understand them.

Not that you don't understand them, but rather, you understand that there are no good reasons for them. You acted arrogantly when you chose to start the 'flame', and choosing to make it sound intentional is part of your unwillingness to actually give yourself a good, hard look in the mirror.

There aren't two warring sides of you - there's one person trying to get away with as much selfish behavior as the kindness of others and his own pseudo-intellectual accomplishments will allow.

[WolfMoon]

Originally Posted by Icarian Decoding

Indeed, and I still hold the opinion, that you should rip me a new one, and the offer will still stand.

Maybe you should consider the fact that you're a worthless troll and no one wants anything to do with you?

[Icarian Decoding]

Maybe you should consider the possibility that some people actually want to change.

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by Icarian Decoding

Maybe you should consider the possibility that some people actually want to change.

Wanting to change doesn't equal there being no consequences for previous actions. Even if you are being honest, you are in no position to ask that anyone on these boards cut you any slack.

Deal with it.

[tenet_2012]

Damnit!

I have to go to South Dakota tomorrow for the weekend.

That sucks!

Oh well, maybe my dad will give me money... hehehe.

[spookypurple]

Originally Posted by TwistedKitsune

My head still hurts and, while it's likely entirely unrelated, my hearing is going wonky. I've been to the doctor, they say nothing they can see is physically wrong with my brain. That doesn't make me worry about it any less. Currently my head is hurting so much I'm sick to my stomach...I also feel vaguely dizzy.

Worrying about you, honey. Do you ever get distorted vision and/or depth perception? I think E_P_S is on the button about migraine - especially with the nausea and dizziness. I've found Feverfew really good in the past, as well as taking vitamin B2 (not sure how that one works). And I really hate it when people dismiss it as 'just a headache'. So there's my rant bit too.

Thinking of you. [hug]

[Icarian Decoding]

You see Xnguela, if you actually read the thing, then you would realize one thing:
Finally, when everyone got all pissed off, and I realized that everyone wasn't going to like me for my opinions, my other-side came up with the whole troll story. To cover my ass. Make it seem like it was a big joke. But it wasn't.

So, no. I'm not glad I did, but I covered my ass. The only thing I can do, is try and, "mend the fence", if you will.

And PS Santarea, I don't care if Hurt Pussy Day was Tuesday.

[spookypurple]

'Icky'. I do like that. Does it have the same meaning (not pleasant, somewhat repulsive, just ..'eeew') over there as here?

Sorry, that wasn't remotely ranty, was it?

So... [deep breath] "**6%$££@&*!". and I'll stamp my foot too.