the Corrupted Wishes game

[chloegoth]

Granted, but you don't have to go because you've lost the ability to speak altogether.

I wish I had a brand new car that was attractive, dependable, and theft and accident proof.

[chloegoth]

This one for Solumina:

Granted. You get in touch with them only to find that they're all on death row and have only one week to live.

I wish I had a bigger house.

[Solumina]

granted but it falls apart and kills you

I wish I had more of my favorite lotion

[Wise Child]

Granted. It's spiked with acid. (Sorry... I didn't do it!)

I wish I could draw like the Art Thread haunts.

[SuicideJade]

Granted..
You can now draw but the day after you get your wish you will be blinded by having your eyes gouged out with a fork when you accidentally upset a crazy elderly woman in a restaraunt

i wish i had a record contract

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but no one ever buys your cd's, despite the excellence of your music.

I wish there was a blockbuster video-game movie... and that I got to watch it.

[Sharkman_75]

Granted, but it's Pong.

I wish I had a limitless supply of gin.

[Morrigan_Dubh]

Granted. But it arrives unbottled and floods your house, drowning you, and your little doggy too.

I wish I find some LSD...

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but it sends you on a bad trip and you run off a cliff screaming something about "Purple monkeys that steal your souls..."

I wish for... a cheese sandwich... with cheese.

[An Eccentric Cellist]

Granted. You now have a very old cheese sandwich that has been left out in the sun for quite a while. Oh look it's liquefying.

I wish I had a reasonably healthy social life outside of school.

[tenet_2012]

Granted. That requires you to go to parties and then you become an alcoholic jock asshole.

I wish I was cured.

[Crom Crauch]

granted, but they are all done in Old Norse, and your teacher fails you.

I wish... I had pants. just one pair

[lena]

granted you have one pair of pants, they are bright pink and made of wool, and your allergic to wool.

I wish I didnt have to take my daughter to kindergarden orientation at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow morning.

[Paper_Wings]

Granted. The orientation is cancled due to an attack of middle aged barrbarians who turn your house into ruins and kill everyone you hold dear.


I wish I had a crispy cream right now.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You have a crispy cream but due to bad food practices it has had rat poison spilt in it and you die.

I wish I was smarter.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

But I'm still smart, right?

Your wish is Granted.

Finals week is next week however instead of using this week to study you go partying and end up taking all your finals exams with a hangover. You fail every exam and, now bitter and twisted over your failure, you go on to fail everything you attempt in life.

I wish that my Great-Aunt hadn't just died...

[lena]

granted, finals are next week. Your so relieved you go out and party all night, and drink entirely too much. You pass out and spend the next 6 days in an alcohol induced coma. When you wake up your finals are starting and you have forgotten everything from being in a coma.

I wish I didnt have a cold.

[mutsumiasakura]

Granted: you get over your cold, and find out you have cancer instead. Thirty days left to live, hun.

I wish that I had no more work to do this week.

[Dreaming Vendetta]

Your wish is granted. You have no work this week... or ever. You join the vast nameless ranks of the homeless and die hungry and alone some years from now.

I wish I had a pet cat.

[disorder]

Granted.
But your pet cat is a lion. He eats you.

I wish my saxophone wouldn't drip

[Morrigan_Dubh]

Granted, but it stops dripping becuase you can no longer produce saliva. Your mouth dries up to a horrible crusty maw, and you're sense of taste stops functioning... you visit specialist after specialist, but they are merely perplexed and treat you like a medical wonder... soon your life as a freak becomes too much for ou and you ironically place a hosepipe in your mouth, turn on the tap and fill your lungs with water, drowning yourself.

I wish I had a porcelain complexion.

[disorder]

Granted, but instead of just having a porcelain complexion, you turn into porcelain, then promply get dropped down a flight of stairs by a 3 year old, smashing you to pieces.

I wish my bedroom wasn't so cold of a morning

[succubus,queenofvampires]

Granted, your bedroom becomes the hottest place on Earth, and you burn to death in it.

I wish that I had done better in my Physics test.

[Sobeh]

Originally Posted by succubus,queenofvampires

I wish that I had done better in my Physics test.

Granted. Unfortunately, the odd diction of the request results in travelling back in time, all the answers flooding your mind... and then, suddenly being transported into the physics exam itself. The sudden shock of two-dimensional life is quickly replaced by fear as equations and other components of the test descend on your position. You fight valiantly, fending off wave after wave of assaulting numbers and diagrams, and just as you are about to strike down your final foe, an earthquake is followed by a sudden plunge into darkness as the test, seemingly a poorly copied exam sheet because of the gibberish depicted thereon, is thrown into the recycle bin. It is only a matter of time before you are shredded into oblivion, and your remains pulped into toilet paper.

I wish I had a clue.

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but the clue is to the wrong game!

I wish Pinky & the Brain was back on TV.