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01-03-2007, 05:09 PM
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#176
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because ailens made it a fact of life
how do they make my fake chicken taste just like real chicken?
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Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-05-2007, 09:54 PM
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#177
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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The fake chicken is infused with real chickens' bath water, and EVERYone knows how flavorful bath water is!
Why do mangoes have that part just outside of the center that you really can't eat, but it looks like you can?
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According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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01-05-2007, 10:00 PM
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#178
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Your back pocket!
Posts: 347
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Because the magic paper in your belly button........really isn't there.
Why does your mouth taste funny and kind of gross in the mornings?
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...
Author: George Carlin
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01-06-2007, 10:15 AM
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#179
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South of the Unseelie Court
Posts: 415
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Because the germs you have living in your mouth decided to have a party and refused to clean up after themselves.
Why do wounded deer jump the highest?
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Some people are alive simply
because it is illegal to kill them.
~ A wise old bumpersticker
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01-06-2007, 12:08 PM
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#180
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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They are attempting to get the attention of the forest medic, but unbeknownst to them, he retired long ago, so all the energy put into that jump is effort towards a futile gesture...
Why don't we write in pictures (like the Egytpians and the Chinese) instead of words?
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According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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01-06-2007, 12:18 PM
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#181
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,688
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Because the ancient Egyptians were all accomplished artists, and the talent to communicate an idea in pictures was handed down genetically and is not possessed by members of our modern culture.
Why is the sun warm, even through the window?
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A SPIDER sewed at night
Without a light
Upon an arc of white.
If ruff it was of dame
Or shroud of gnome,
Himself, himself inform.
Of immortality
His strategy
Was physiognomy.
--Emily Dickinson
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01-06-2007, 08:48 PM
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#182
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because its a demonic entity, seeking to burn your retinas! 
why cant i win the lottery 
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Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-06-2007, 08:52 PM
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#183
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Because God always wins it. That's why Heaven's streets are paved with gold.
Does God have grills?
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"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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01-06-2007, 09:00 PM
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#184
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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god does have grills
they are white gold with black diamonds!
why is Jilly so damn awesome 
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Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-06-2007, 09:06 PM
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#185
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because he is distantly related to David Hasselhoff, who is God, and entirely awesome.
Why are Rolos so chewy?
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"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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01-06-2007, 09:13 PM
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#186
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because god infused them with uberchewyness
david hasslehoff has a grill?
why does my head hurt so bad
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Autonomy Not Uniformity
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01-06-2007, 09:18 PM
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#187
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because you're not praying to the Almighty Hoff enough.
Why is it cute when a young child says something crude, but an adult would be punched in the face for saying the same thing?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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01-06-2007, 09:21 PM
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#188
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because kids have those cute voices that short out the shock receptors in your brain. It's a mechanism built in to all children that keeps adults from driving them into the ground like rail spikes.
Why should one let sleeping dogs lie?
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According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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01-07-2007, 01:34 AM
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#189
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,092
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Because if you don't, they'll bark and make a fuss and annoy the hell out of your neighbors. And me.
Why do boats float in water?
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No.
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01-07-2007, 01:41 AM
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#190
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because if they floated on air, then we wouldn't be able to make high-rise buildings.
Why can't ostriches fly?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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01-07-2007, 03:23 PM
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#191
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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They can, but they don't want to. The stamping of their feet in the dirt gives them an orgasm.
If we're supposed to worship Jesus because he came back from the dead, why don't we worship Kenny from Southpark?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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01-09-2007, 06:17 PM
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#192
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,092
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Because, people dig his beard.
Why can't I kill the Internet?
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No.
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01-10-2007, 07:50 AM
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#193
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Because inside the internet there are millians of people who control it and if you were to kill the internet then that would make you a muderer and we don't want to murder people now do we (wait, don't answer that)
Why is it that when your looking for somthing you can never find it but when you don't nead it and are not looking for it you always seem to find it?
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01-10-2007, 08:42 AM
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#194
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Germany, Freiburg
Posts: 49
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It's all because of the mice.
Yu know they control earth and while answering the essential, about-everything-in-life question (BTW: they have the answer: it's 42) they pass time by making fun of stupid mankind by unnerving them until they feel the urgent need to make muffins.
Why do people make babies?
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03-02-2007, 09:57 PM
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#195
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Earth...
Posts: 194
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People don't actually make babies. Babies are paracitic organisms that brainwash men and women into caring for them.
Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
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In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed – they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo, Brunelleschi, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
- Orson Wells
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03-02-2007, 10:20 PM
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#196
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Because you keep passing out in your side.
Why do some chickens lay chocolate eggs?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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03-02-2007, 10:27 PM
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#197
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Earth...
Posts: 194
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Because the Easter Bunny forced them to listen to the Titanic soundtrack 24/7
What do goats do when no body is around?
__________________
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed – they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo, Brunelleschi, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
- Orson Wells
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03-02-2007, 11:25 PM
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#198
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,421
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They eat their own cheese.
Why does pain hurt?
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You ain't no punk, you punk; you wanna talk about the real junk?
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03-03-2007, 07:21 AM
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#199
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Icky? You should have seen it before PETA and the National Librarian Association intervened...they rarely work together, but when they do...
Why do I have a belly button?
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03-03-2007, 12:47 PM
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#200
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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The belly button is a sexual organ used in the reproductive cycle. It's function is similar to the conical cavity shaped by flowers which is used to attract bees; but in the case of the belly button, it attracts the opposite sex of humans. It is the "human flower". In the same way flowers distribute pollen, the belly button also distributes wafts of naval lint which are borne on the wind to spread the pheromones far and wide. Without the belly button, reproduction would not be possible at all!
Why does the biology of the French require a bidee in the bathroom, while the biology of Americans does not?
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