Worst Week Ever.

[ugh...]

Now, when I say I've had the worst week ever, I do not mean that this is the worst stuff that has ever happened to me. Much worse has happened, but it has not persisted like this for over two. This has been bad. I preface this by saying that I am home for the summer.

Wednesday:
I am cleaning my fish tank at 10:30 and listening to my radio in my bathroom. My mother comes in and shuts it off. "whatever" I think to myself. When I am done in the bathroom I head to my room and turn on my radio quietly in there.
My mom came back in to tell me something when she realized my radio was on again (By the way, I was listening to NPR). She rips the clock radio out of the wall and hurls it at me. "WHAT THE F*CK YOU PSYCHO B*TCH?" I screamed after catching it. She then ran out of my room.
She came back 5 minutes later and said "I took your keys, you can no longer drive." I was furious "You can't do that you fuck! I own that car! You are stealing from me!"
At that point I went downstairs and she followed me. I reached into the cabinet where the spare keys are and got a pair to all the other cars (she had taken my spare) and asked her which one she wanted me to drive instead of mine.
She gave me back my keys.

Wednesday:
I brought down the bowls I had been using to clean my fish tank. They were dirty. I had boarded myself up in my room to avoid another confrontation and there was little in the ways of cleaning supplies at my finger tips.
I left them and went off to work for a few hours. When I returned my mother was red in the face and screaming at me. "YOU DISRESPECTFUL CHILD!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN CLEAN TWO BOWLS!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE OVER 18, IF YOU WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE AN ADULT YOU CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!"
I tried to ignore her because when I responded last night she took my keys, but when I didn't have a response she said. She responded to my silence with "YOUR RATS ARE GONE YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! I'LL KILL THEM IF YOU DON'T GET THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE THIS INSTANT!!!" she then went upstairs.
My rats live in the basement. Far from my mother, in a cage I clean on a regular basis and they do not disturb anyone. My mom just never fancied them. I walked down with a Demonia shoe box (it was the roomiest I had) and cried as I drove across town to give them to an ex-girlfriend of my present boyfriend.

Friday:
After coming in late the night before (in an effort to avoid my psycho family) my parents BOTH decided they were upset at me. As I came back in from work in the morning my mother walked outside. I knew she was going for the keys I leave in my car. I ran after her.
10 feet from my car I had caught up with her. She tried to check me away but she weighs 120lbs and I have a good 2 inches and 10lbs on her. I also have a history of playing soccer. I blocked her check and got to my car. I took my keys, locked my car and went inside. She went into the basement.
5 minutes later I decided to see what the heck she was doing. Turns out she was trying to dismantle my car with a screwdriver. She had gotten the plates off and hidden them and at the moment I saw her she was trying to pry my window down. Mind you, this is my car.
"F*CK YOU, YOU F*CKING PSYCHO BI*CH!!! STOP BREAKING INTO MY CAR OR I'LL CALL THE F*CKING COPS ON YOU!! GIVE ME BACK MY PLATES!!!" She just smiled and walked away.
It was about 3:00 in the afternoon, which is when I go to take care of my horse and I needed to get to my barn. I go to get into her car (which I am insured and registered on) and see her run into the garage. I put it into reverse and see something fly behind me, shortly followed my my mother. I guess it was an old rocking chair. My mom sat behind it and after getting it 2 feet away from her, I put it in park. She started screaming the most vile things at me. She told me I was threatening her life and she would have me arrested, and she wishes she had never adopted me, my birthmother was a slut, no one in the world wanted me, and all these horrible things. I called my best friend (my boyfriend was out of town). He picked me up and I went to his state (we live 15 or so miles away from each other).
I continued to receive ghastly messages from her till midnight.

Saturday:
I Slept over his house and went to mine the next morning just to take her car and go to work.
When I got home I gave her the plates I found and told her to put them on my car. She did, and we haven't talked since. I'm just glad my dad didn't get in on the action. He's a real a$s-hole. Where my mother is a bitch, my dad is violent.

Since then I have eaten a total of 1500 calories. I haven't been able to sleep, and I have had a friend take care of my horse. I'm so depressed now. I told my boyfriend I might not be able to keep seeing him, and I really feel horrible.

I hate my life at this point. More than a depressed teenager should.

[missfreakychick]

well you deal with ur problems and this is a site for goths not fucking claiming bout ur depressed teen problems

[Godslayer Jillian]

Why can't you just go back to your smart self and contribute to the literature section?

[ugh...]

Godslayer Jillian- I know that you are aware that this is a whining forum. I'm allowed to take a break from my literary persona when life decides to take a shit on me aren't I? I thought so.

Originally Posted by missfreakychick

well you deal with ur problems and this is a site for goths not fucking claiming bout ur depressed teen problems

Goths are allowed to be pissed off, aren't they? I thought were were human and I thought that was a part of being human. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone else who gets sad is a cyborg (wouldn't that be interesting?).
I do recall that you are younger than I, and you have left some very teenage whinney posts here. Don't be hypocritical. Please learn to spell.
And by the way, depression is a disease. You wouldn't take a crap on someone who had Cancer, why try it on someone with another disease?

[Godslayer Jillian]

Originally Posted by ugh...

Godslayer Jillian- I know that you are aware that this is a whining forum. I'm allowed to take a break from my literary persona when life decides to take a shit on me aren't I? I thought so.

I wasn't talking about you; don't get mad at me. I really hate when people use words like 'shit' to express misdirected anger.

[ugh...]

Its not like me to swear. I'm just reeeeeeally not myself. ::deep breaths::

[HumanePain]

Hey babe, take a deep breath, and think about the future, just a few more years and you will be on your own and away from it all. I wish I could adopt you and take you away from all that crap. That is no way for a family to treat it's members. Yes, so you are adopted, it doesn't matter, when they made you a part of their family, they took responsibility on themselves that they cannot shirk now. I swear, they must be having financial problems or some other stress at work to treat you like that. I wish I was there to talk to them. I am glad you are sharing, but I feel so helpless to do anything but listen. From your posts, you seem to be ok in the head, but your folks are almost certified sociopaths!

I'll pray for you.

[deafasadoornail]

Awww hon, I am so sorry you are going through this. I think the number one thing people (and WOMEN in particular) can do to keep themselves safe is this:

ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR TRANSPORTATION. That means have a way in and out of every situation. It sounds like home is a pretty unsafe place for you right now if you can't control what your family does to your car. If I were in your shoes, I would avoid going home unless you could stay with a friend and have them drive you over there or some such thing.

By the way, I have 3 kids and I admit to having a major temper, but the only part of your mom's behavior that sounds normal to me is yelling at you about the two bowls -- just because moms do sometimes feel like everybody's slave. The rest of it is....uhh....not even close to acceptable in social terms. I hesitate to bring up mental illness, but that might be an issue here.

[prophecyofdoom]

I'm so sorry.
I wish I had words of comfort to speak.
I know the rage and frustration you feel after being treated so badly.....
I, too, know the rather sick, anxious, unsettled feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes after such terrible incidents....

When I lived with my mother, she would psycho out in similar ways. She would do insane and terrible things for little or no discernable reason. One time I left my backpack in the living room, so she picked it up, put it in the fire place, and lit a fire. Another time she was driving me to work, and I asked if we could stop real quick so I could get food for during my break. She punched me in the nose. Just like that, no warning. My nose was numb, there was blood everywhere. I was holding a pool of blood cupped in my hands that I didn't know what to do with. She hit me again, because I was crying, and the blood went flying everywhere. Later on, when I was telling my boyfriend what happened, he told me the place I had asked to stop at involved making a difficult left turn. This is the reason I think she hit me. At other times she would yell and scream, say terrible things, damage or destroy my property, get violent with me. Sometimes she would cry while she was doing it. I never knew why she just went crazy sometimes, though I know financial stress was a big part of it. When she wasn't having a psychotic episode she was a good mother, did so much for me. After an ugly scene, she would pretend as though nothing had happened. The thing is, she was in poor health, and I was always kind of afraid she was going to die, so I never felt as though I could fight back. The final ugly scene happened when I was seventeen. I came home from work and she started screaming and smashing my things and throwing things at me. I think she was upset because she believed I had made a mistake in breaking up with my old boyfriend several weeks prior, and she wasn't as fond of my new boyfriend. She ran at me, started punching and kicking me. I kept pushing her back, pushing her back and she just kept coming at me. She looked so old and frail even in that moment I was so worried about her. I grabbed up the phone to call someone, and she yanked it out of my hand and smashed my fingers with it. I managed to run out of the house, and I ended up at my new boyfriend's. When his parents saw the cuts and bruises all over me, they invited me to come and live with them.....I did. Even though I had only been dating the guy for two weeks. There came a time when I would have ended the relationship but for the fact that I had nowhere else to go. When I was twenty-one I got my own apartment. Looking back, I wish I could have managed to keep living with my mother. I think I could have stayed in school and had a career, and better relationships with people, if I had stayed with my mother.

[Tin_Lizzie]

This gave me flashbacks to my time with Mummy Dearest - I won't bore you with stuff that happened to me a long time ago, only to say that it can get better if you get out of the situation. Many therapists and counselors aren't familiar with verbal/emotional abuse like this, so let me say this: NONE of it is your fault. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, don't believe it. It's not fair, and you did nothing to trigger it - your mom's behavior is unacceptable. If you can move out, do it. Also, do not stoop to her level, continue to avoid conflict. Don't exchange insults, because she can't hear herself and doesn't realize that you're only responding to her anger. Unfortunately, you have to be the adult with her when she's not behaving rationally.

*Hugs* take care of yourself, Ugh... Be well.

[Cyntrox]

Originally Posted by missfreakychick

well you deal with ur problems and this is a site for goths not fucking claiming bout ur depressed teen problems

Shut the fuck up.

[ugh...]

Thank you all very much. I've decided I can't move out because my parents hold the purse for College and my Horse... so unless I want to be able to work those off (which seems impossible to me) I have to stay.

I have managed to find a way to be here as little as possible. I've been coming home late and leaving before they're awake. So long as I'm in the house I think they'll keep supporting me. They just don't have the opportunity to hurt me.

I hope this keeps working.

[Caught]

What you're doing at the moment is escaping your problems, running away. But sometimes it's just better to run, you can keep doing this or you can choose a moment to talk with your parents and especially your mom. What she did to you is horrible, very cruel; I bet it makes you wonder if they still love you. You're an adult, I'm sure you can make the right choices now but your parents need to understand that too. Talking is very important but no one said it's easy, if you want to make living with your parents possible you should take some action someday, you can't keep running for ever.

[OCD Insomnia]

Hmmm...well this definatly sounds like a messy situation. Just remember... It could be so much worse. For example; I myself would put up with that every day of my life if I had an *excuse me* fucking horse, my own car and probably a nice home, yes? Just remember it's a better situation than mine. I'm on my own at fifteen(mom strangled me and kicked me out for having a friend that is male), no job, hardly a stable roof over my head(wich is also infested with tweakers and crackheads), I rarely eat a non-processed meal, and my mother won't let me see one cent of the $900.00 of child support she gets every month even though I havent lived at home for 6+ months.
Just do me a favor: Be thankful you have a loving boyfriend and bestfriend to help you through this. I know first hand that just because you share blood doesn't mean you have to get along. Just don't feed the fire. Take everything out of reach from your mother so she can't harm your things (or you) and ignore her like you would a todler because that is what she's acting like. And, you still get the colloge fund because tecnically you didn't do anything wrong but not pay attention to her tantrum.

~Ravie.

[ugh...]

Well, I could keep my horse and car if I wanted to, I work three jobs as it is, but I just need their money because I only got a partial scholarship (1/4 of the costs). Paying back over $10,000 is not something I want to do.
Please don't infer anything about horses. I know alot of snobby rich people have them, but I keep my horse in the cheapest place in town and work there everyday to keep him.

[biohazard]

Well that is too bad, but I cannot understand why your mom would take out your clock and turn off your dario for no reason... My mom is usually not mean to me, but even when she gets angry she never does things like that. Anyways, my mom is getting very annoying lately, and getting angry at small things, maybe its because she is preggy...