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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
09-06-2008, 05:43 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Desert
Posts: 4,270
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Ha ha ha ha HAAAH!!
Let me out of this strait jacket,
you foolish, incompetent maggot.
I want to be free, release me,
so I can mock the peoples' "misery"
Yes! Let me ridicule the fools,
who think they know what pain is.
Strike their head with a strong epiphany,
so that they know that their darkness...
is a fallacy
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09-06-2008, 05:51 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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What if a Dragonball Z villain wrote a rap?
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09-06-2008, 05:54 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Desert
Posts: 4,270
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Hm...*ponders this* huh...
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09-06-2008, 05:58 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
What if a Dragonball Z villain wrote a rap?
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Dude, the past month or so has just been Gothicus Month. You're in your prime dude, you're ripping this shit up.
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09-06-2008, 06:05 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Desert
Posts: 4,270
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So, what do you people think of my poem?
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09-06-2008, 06:06 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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I didn't like it at all, it seemed like a big cliché.
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09-06-2008, 06:08 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Desert
Posts: 4,270
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Damn it... back to the drawing board.
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09-07-2008, 12:12 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: griffin,ga
Posts: 207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duane
Let me out of this strait jacket,
you foolish, incompetent maggot.
I want to be free, release me,
so I can mock the peoples' "misery"
Yes! Let me ridicule the fools,
who think they know what pain is.
Strike their head with a strong epiphany,
so that they know that their darkness...
is a fallacy
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Thats pretty cool.btw you sig is fucking funny
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09-07-2008, 02:28 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Hell
Posts: 47
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Your poem made me think of the Jackal from the movie Thirteen Ghosts.
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09-07-2008, 02:53 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duane
So, what do you people think of my poem?
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I think it's funny.
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09-11-2008, 11:06 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Philly Region
Posts: 105
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It sounds like you tried to hard to sound crazy, used to many expected cliches, and played into saying what everyone else would say.
It can be done, and it can be done well, it's just difficult and would take a lot of editing and work.
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