To a Dying Sun

[Schazmyrrh]

Life- in its twilight
Cruel winds thrash and wail
The last petal falls
Your rays have faded
And, in your absence,
winter kissed the land.

I care little for your warmth now.


~this trickled out about thirty minutes ago.

[Mir]

~this trickled out about thirty minutes ago.

You should have hit the toilet then.

[Duane]

Read some poetry, listen to some music, watch a good movie. Get those creative juices going, and try again. I know you can do better.

[HumanePain]

I did something like this a year ago:

http://gothic.net/boards/showthread....212#post376212

Cool clouds of purgatory
damp mist and sky
a profound mystery
From whence come I?

From nothing
comes Icarus,
all alive!
And quickly
towards nothing
then to die.

Past unseen
and Future threatened
My skin unfurls
as Flight is shortened.

Frozen vision
in cold stone eyes
reveals no Heaven
The wings
were lies.

--------------------
and this
--------------------

http://gothic.net/boards/showthread....043#post297043

Immortality
Now rich and wise
with gold robes to wear
knowing: all dies
Old brings thought to bear
Old tests and tries
Hold Death! Wear and tear.

And so Old's reach
for the Fountain of Youth
trying Cream or Leech
when in fact the Truth
is New Life resides
when bringing about
young suckling, Mother's side
and child's laughing shout.


----------------
and this:
----------------

http://gothic.net/boards/showthread....408#post256408

Familiar shadow
you come and go
but never far
this I know.

Life is free
but only briefly
and sweet life's fee
is paid bitterly.

Perhaps true freedom
and maybe more
is when Death comes
and opens my door.

---------
and lastly:
---------

http://gothic.net/boards/showthread....550#post254550

Old theme, old words
The new leaves turn
fresh face to the sun
too new to burn;
the Spring is fun.

Hot Summer's breath
and it's stormy splash
stalls and hides old death
but not time's flash.

Below it all,
past leaves of Fall.
Their green long gone
while The Tree stays strong.

Yellows and Reds
make them proud and mature
their days have bled
as is Time's nature.

Forgotten green,
forgotten birth,
no longer seen
but as dark earth.

------------------

As you can see, I too am fond of writing from my elderly perspective of life's sunset. Hence my profile motto: "tragic sunset".

[Duane]

Read some of Humane's material, and it could help you become a great writer.

[Schazmyrrh]

Originally Posted by Mir

You should have hit the toilet then.

I knew someone was going to point that out. : p

[Schazmyrrh]

Originally Posted by Duane

Read some poetry, listen to some music, watch a good movie. Get those creative juices going, and try again. I know you can do better.

Yeah, thanks. I was feeling down that day when I wrote it and I was in desperate need of an outlet, thus the poem. I didn't feel like hitting the toilet like Mir said. : P

[Schazmyrrh]

Thanks for sharing your poetry Humane Pain. I'm sure they'll come handy as an inspiration if I'd feel motivated enough to polish the 'dying sun' piece.

[HumanePain]

I can be such a pompous ass at times. I apologize for hijacking your thread with my material. I am not always in a...clear...state of mind when I post.

[Schazmyrrh]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I can be such a pompous ass at times. I apologize for hijacking your thread with my material. I am not always in a...clear...state of mind when I post.

It's okay. I really didn't think you meant it that way.

Now let's let this thread momentarily die while I try to get my creative juice unfrozen and then I'll probably resurrect this and edit that piece. *grins*