I Wish There Was Someone I Could Relate to

[Denchera]

I'm pretty well-respected at school, two years ago I was treated like shit, but when I started scting "Gangster" I started being respected because half the school is populated by them, but I still hate acting something I'm not, If I ever tried to be myself at school I'd be ridiculed just like two years ago when I attempted that. And I don't want to lose that high opinion of myself. But outside of school I don't have to be that, I can be myself. Whatever real friends I had knew about it and now I think they're starting to avoid me. They never return my calls and I hardly see them, It's horrible. The only true goth I know is Alice and she's a whole city away. I just wish that I knew someone, anyone who I could really relate to, not gangsters or asian nerds. What do I do?

[KontanKarite]

1. Fuck goth. Goths are boring. Try making friends with real poets and real artists.

2. If you can actually act like that and get their respect then realize that you are good at manipulating the opinions of others. Apparently you have some gift of gab, which is a very good thing.

3. Be yourself around people that matter. Act gangster around those foolish enough to believe it, act goth around those foolish enough to believe that.

Be a chameleon.

[Still Jack]

What Kontan said.

[JCC]

Why are they asian nerds rather than just nerds?

[Solumina]

I kind of figured he was talking about nerds obsessed with Asian culture, not nerds who happen to be Asian, but I could be wrong.

[Denchera]

That's what I meant, the type who are obssessed with anything from Asia like monga or whatever, they embarass the real asians here. And that's the problems, everyone's easy to fool because they aren't poetic OR artistic, I thinks that's why my school doesn't have an art program.

[Pineapple_Juice]

Dude, I'd rather have rocks thrown at me every day by various schoolgoing fellows than act like a "gangster".

[Tam Li Hua]

^ What Pineapple said.

I wasn't very well liked in high school either, but I am still glad I was myself instead of trying to be something I'm not.

If it's a case of serious bullying [getting beaten up every day or something], then you may want to talk to your parents about going to a different school, or at least finding a legal way to get these kids off of your back.

[SiouxsiePernova]

You can relate to almost anyone if you try hard enough.

[Lady Christine]

^ Troof

I also have to agree, that acting gangster isn't my cup of tea. Why don't you just be yourself? Don't put on a face for everyone. Friends should like you for you, not who you pretend to be.

[Komakino]

Ah, I agree with the 4 posts above this one :-)

Four years ago, I was beaten up at school for not being into Hip-Hop and Teen-Pop (damn.), but listening to Goth Rock (Bauhaus, Cocteau Twins, Sisters of Mercy, etc.) and being dressed in dark colors and wearing a crucifix necklace with "Jesus Saves" in it. But hey, 'til now the Goth genre still dominates my playlists. "Be yourself" is a really good advice.

Well recently those goth-haters at school can't touch me now since I have a whole community of old-school Goths dominating the place. Haha, "Don't go looking for popularity, let it come to you." <---I forgot who said that. Critics, welcome.

[Nexiah]

If there is physical abuse going on here, it will probably get worse if you don't deal with it with these guys. Here's an idea, in chronological order:

1. If shit keeps happening on a regular basis, don't hesitate to report them to the head principal, and contrary to what it looks like, this is not to get them into trouble, it is merely to let the principal know what is currently going in his school. Step 1 is not a solution, it is merely to prevent you from getting into trouble later...

2. The guys that want to hit you, they are going to try to cause you pain. You have to accept this, however you don't have to put up with it. Attack them when they attack you, defend yourself. Do this daily, for as long as it takes. They will be too scared to fight someone who realizes that there is pain is involved, but is willing to come back day after day to deal out and receive the same punishment everyday.

3. When you get called up to the principal's office, explain that you have come in, you have told him what was and is going on, and he failed in his duty of care to stop it. So you merely took your own self-preservation into your own hands. You can't get expelled if they failed in their duty of care to protect their students.

4. This will only work if you are not the aggressor, and you have been to the principal a couple of times in regard to this matter. Remember that it is probably not good idea to mention names as this can backfire on you, as a goody-goody teacher might try and sought it out the political way on your behalf, and this way, everyone will know that you have gone to the teachers whinging.

5. If they respect the "gangsta" shit, then they are going to respect a physical beating. They will respect even more, someone who continuously stands their ground and holds their "turf".

[Haunted House]

If people make fun of you for being you, but then totally accept you when you act like them, I'd recomend moving as far away as possible.

[Malice In Wonderland]

I'LL RELATE TO YOU
Ahajhahaahahahhaaha.

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

I'll relate to you too, all night long ;-)

[Black Inferno]

What everyone said in reply~

I'll relate to you,anytime when you need it.

[DemiGoth]

Don't act gangster, be yourself. The whole administration at my school hates me, I got made fun of atleast once or twice a week, I've been called emo, gay, fag, I've been cursed off. But I'm still well and alive. I just stick with my real friends for the true support, I don't change just so others stop bothering me. If people don't like me they should ignore me. And if people don't like you they should just ignore you.

[Catch.]

LOOK AT ME DANCE!

Lalalalalalalalalalala!!!

[Serren]

I'd say try and find a mid point between being yourself and getting the sh!t kicked out of you. You don't have to be all gangster but you don't have to be a nerd either, try and find a half way point.

Also, like the others said try and find ways you DO relate to people, rather than ways in which you are different. I have lots of different friends and acquaintances and they are from all different types of places and scenes. We live in social housing and my husband and I have plenty of neighbors who are chavs (kind of white gangster types) who we are friendly with as well as friends from the alternative scene.

Theres not really a reason to have friends who are all the same as you, and to be honest it kind of gets boring after a while if you're all the same.

[vae victus]

Don't let people force you into something you aren't. Its better to be yourself and hated then be something else and hate yourself (or what you've made yourself appear)

[ShadowxMakerZ]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

Dude, I'd rather have rocks thrown at me every day by various schoolgoing fellows than act like a "gangster".

Agreed.
Why be something you despise?

[msg_themoon]

I have an odd school story. I was a Mexican American in Dallas, TX. Everyone would assume I have an accent or at least try to act all Mexican Gangsta and be into the latest trends. I was the oddball because I was 6'2'', (That's Tall For A Mexican) I had long hair, but I wore nice button up shirts, jeans and boots. Oh and what really kept everyone confused is that I spoke properly. I understood grammar. I was an A students, and the funny thing is I made friends with practically every group of people in that high school. From your gangsta blacks, to the gangsta mexicans, to the hick redneck white boy to the proper version off all those races. Everyone likes me and I don't know why. maybe becuz i speak the truth and i never "FRONT." What you get Is what I got. I am also a walking contradiction. I love sappy songs, and I love to hate... all I can say sir who posted this in MAY.. Be yourself and dont care what others think. here's how I see it! "If everyone likes you then you are doing something wrong, and if everyone hates you its only a matter of time until you get a fan." People love rebels even if they are not trying to be a rebel. I tried so hard to not get into the yearbook!! BUT I FAILED! senior year everyone knew me and voted me most rebel! irony, I also made A Honor Roll that year! I love rules!

[Ophelia's Snorkel]

I'll second the advice to document, document, document through meetings with the school administration, through keeping a written record of incidents, through keeping your parents informed. It truly will be your best protection if you find yourself needing to justify self-defence, legal measures, or even just a request to be placed in a different classroom. Bullies usually only understand a punch in the nose, so you may have to resort to that, but the adults around you also have a strong and negative reaction to being denied power and control (especially when they want to protect you). Following a protocol covers your ass.

As for pretending to be all gansta...listen, being an 'alt' in real life sucks balls. You can beat yourself up much more severely - and will - than any thickheaded bully. Deal with yourself now, or prepare to spend $$$ in therapy later.

[skateboard pro]

well too bad, there isn't. happy living.

[creature6]

[quote=KontanKarite;538203]1. Fuck goth. Goths are boring. Try making friends with real poets and real artists.[quote]


what the hell are you doing on a Goth forum then you scum bag?