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General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
08-02-2010, 09:40 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Shark Week RPG
You go to take a bath.
There is a fucking shark in the tub.
What do you do?
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08-02-2010, 09:42 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
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Make the best of it.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
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real classy
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08-02-2010, 09:49 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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That is the vaguest Shark Week roleplaying ever. Clearly you're not feeling sufficiently festive, Alan-- or should I say SCROOGE?
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08-02-2010, 09:56 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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I LOVE SHARK WEEK.
Were I to find a shark in my tub, I would NOT punch it in the gills, as Adam and Jaime from Mythbusters taught me it does little good.
I would, however, swim close to the bottom of the tub, as this makes it harder for the sharks to attack.
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08-02-2010, 10:02 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
Were I to find a shark in my tub, I would NOT punch it in the gills, as Adam and Jaime from Mythbusters taught me it does little good.
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SHIT, what about the nose? Because I was going to say "I'd punch it in the nose." I guess I'm dead already.
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08-02-2010, 10:03 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 348
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fite the shark one part of a time. Start with punching it in the nose and the dick at the same time!! Then drag it reverse to make it drwond.
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08-03-2010, 05:17 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Thou Viking capital Denmark.
Posts: 1,971
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I'd use the shower instead of the tub.
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08-03-2010, 07:07 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
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Weak Shark
Week Shark
Weak Shark
Shark Week
__________________
rubber band balls
Bring Kontan Back
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08-03-2010, 07:42 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
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I'd call my girl in and me and the shark would see who eats better pussy.
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08-03-2010, 12:06 PM
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#10
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
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I challenge the Shark to a Children's card game.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
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08-03-2010, 01:12 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
You go to take a bath.
There is a fucking shark in the tub.
What do you do?
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I'd scrounge outside to find a small neighbor to feed to it. I want my shark well-fed and sassy!
P.S. - You can take a bath anywhere. How many times in this life do you have the opportunity to HAVE YOUR OWN SHARK?!?
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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08-03-2010, 01:14 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
I challenge the Shark to a Children's card game.
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See, that's where this thread leaped over the resident of said tub.
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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08-03-2010, 01:21 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hidden behind merciful shadows...
Posts: 416
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I'd eat it. Shark meat tastes kinda like chicken, from what I recall.
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08-03-2010, 01:23 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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I'd read it stories and then challenge it to a game of poker.
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08-03-2010, 01:31 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
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I would sing the shark song with it...hand motions and all...
__________________
rubber band balls
Bring Kontan Back
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08-03-2010, 02:06 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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I'd grab it by the tail, flip it over, and give it a belly rub. Cuz all pets like belly rubs, pet sharks are no exception.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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08-03-2010, 03:47 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the broken temple bells, in the ringing...
Posts: 5,979
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Check the salinity of the water was correct for the species of shark, fit a protien skimmer and super large filter to the bath and take water test rea....
Oh fuck it I'd knit the big slippery bastard a pink squid hat and some matching fin mittens with tentacles on....
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08-03-2010, 03:59 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Thou Viking capital Denmark.
Posts: 1,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
I challenge the Shark to a Children's card game.
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Yu-Gi-Ooooh!
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08-03-2010, 05:12 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 286
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I'm with hearts of purple i'd eat it.
__________________
By thy cold breast and serpent smile,
By thy unfathom'd gulfs of guile,
By that most seeming virtuous eye,
By thy shut soul's hypocrisy;
By the perfection of thine art
Which pass'd for human thine own heart;
By thy delight in others' pain,
And by thy brotherhood of Cain,
I call upon thee! and compel
Thyself to be thy proper Hell!
-Manfred by Lord Byron
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08-03-2010, 06:04 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Back away very slowly and call the relevant authorities.
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08-03-2010, 07:40 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 411
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I would find out the best way to some money out of my bizzare new friend.
__________________
"all I know, is that i know Nothing"
(plato)
"No todo es blanco o negro, es gris todo depende del matiz..."
(Mago de oz)
"your life does not belong to you, it belongs to the people that love you."
(incognito)
"laying to ones self, is laying to the world"
(incognito)
"El que por su gusto muere, hasta la muerte le sabe."
(incognito)
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08-03-2010, 07:56 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 1,888
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC
Back away very slowly and call the relevant authorities.
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Why back away? The fucker's in the tub, and if it chases you, it'll die anyways.
I'd attach frickin lazers to its head, man. Bitches don't know shit about my lazer shark cavalry!
__________________
Harry
A prank a day keeps the dog leash away - Jello Biafra
I want your skulls! I NEED your skulls! - Misfits
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08-03-2010, 09:00 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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I need to stop browsing gnet drunk. Of course, I won't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
I LOVE SHARK WEEK.
Were I to find a shark in my tub, I would NOT punch it in the gills, as Adam and Jaime from Mythbusters taught me it does little good.
I would, however, swim close to the bottom of the tub, as this makes it harder for the sharks to attack.
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Hygiene before safety-- a rewarding outlook if you don't mind a short life. Despite your attempt to respect the murderous beast's personal space, your tub ain't big enough for the both of you. You are eaten.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya
SHIT, what about the nose? Because I was going to say "I'd punch it in the nose." I guess I'm dead already.
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You are dead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goku
fite the shark one part of a time. Start with punching it in the nose and the dick at the same time!! Then drag it reverse to make it drwond.
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Your approach is a sound one, but the shark is pursuing a similar strategy, and to far greater success. You are eaten one part at a time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anarasha
I'd use the shower instead of the tub.
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You shower thoroughly, taking time to maneuver the Danish soap-surrogate under each of your rolls of fat. Your hair is scrupulously color-guard shampooed, your septum piercing is lathered with antibiotics, and you are as clean as ever. There's still a shark in your tub, though. What now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinjob
I'd call my girl in and me and the shark would see who eats better pussy.
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You call your girlfriend and make your proposition.
"Hahaha Sinjob... what? A shark, huh? All right, sure I'll play along... let me just hop in the-- OH GOD OH GOD ITS EACH ONE OF ITS TEETH ARE LITTLE HACKSAWS HELP"
Call failed.
What now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
I challenge the Shark to a Children's card game.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben
I'd scrounge outside to find a small neighbor to feed to it. I want my shark well-fed and sassy!
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You head outside. Immediately, you notice someone you've seen around the neighborhood, desperately crawling his way towards you as blood seeps from the gushing wound where once was his left leg. Fading fast, he mutters, almost inaudibly, "sh-shark"...
What now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heart's Purple
I'd eat it. Shark meat tastes kinda like chicken, from what I recall.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razeal
I'm with hearts of purple i'd eat it.
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You'll have to kill it first. Millions and millions of years of evolution have stacked the deck against you-- what's the plan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisCheyenne
I'd read it stories and then challenge it to a game of poker.
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The shark writhes restlessly as you fumble through "Goodnight, Moon", making desire for a change of activity tremendously apparent. You concede, and as you're dealing him his first hand, he bites yours clean off.
What do you do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina
I'd grab it by the tail, flip it over, and give it a belly rub. Cuz all pets like belly rubs, pet sharks are no exception.
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The beast does not seem pleased. Indeed, one might judge it to be rather upset.
What next?
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeythorn
Check the salinity of the water was correct for the species of shark, fit a protien skimmer and super large filter to the bath and take water test rea....
Oh fuck it I'd knit the big slippery bastard a pink squid hat and some matching fin mittens with tentacles on....
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It's a Bull Shark, and it looks comfortable, albeit murderous.
You can knit all you want, but getting this motherfucker to model for you is going to be tough-- potentially deadly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC
Back away very slowly and call the relevant authorities.
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"HER MAJESTY'S CONSTABULARY. ARE YOU INJURED?"
You attempt to explain.
"SIR PLEASE REMAIN CALM AND STAY IN YOUR HOME. AVOID ALL PLUMBING UNTIL OTHERWISE NOTIFIED. PLEASE REMAIN CALM. THIS LINE IS RESERVED FOR EXTREME EMERGENCIES"
Disconnected.
What now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0p3y
I would find out the best way to some money out of my bizzare new friend.
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You fashion a sign promoting your affordable mini-aquarium and venture outside, only to be taken aback as someone thrusts a shotgun in your face. "That supposed to be some kind of sick joke?"
Just beyond the barrel, you see the crazed eyes of a stocky, roughly middle-aged man-- his hair and clothes suggest he's literally rolled out of bed not too long ago.
What do you do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathless Horror
I'd attach frickin lazers to its head, man. Bitches don't know shit about my lazer shark cavalry!
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Bitches don't know about the basketball-sized hole in your torso and how your own charred flesh is the last thing you smell.
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08-03-2010, 09:20 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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Let's see, it couldn't be a large shark. If it was larger probably wouldn't go into the bathroom. Perhaps I could entertain it with bathtoys like rubber duckies or let it chew on a stick. Then put it back in the salt water aquarium.
__________________
I Like Cheese!
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08-04-2010, 07:25 AM
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#25
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hidden behind merciful shadows...
Posts: 416
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My bath tub doesn't have a stopper so I guess I'd just wait till it suffocates in the air, then chop off it's head and skin it.
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