the Corrupted Wishes game

[Wise Child]

Granted. You're miserable nonetheless.

I wish maintenance would come and fix my frickin' shower stat so I don't have to use the communal (i.e. skanky) showers

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

Granted, then the communal showers break and they all have to use your shower.

I wish I had some fresh, warm, doughnuts.

[Wise Child]

Granted. They're filled with birdshit. Sorry.

I wish for perfect happiness. (Kinda intrigued to see how you ruin that!)

[Blushing Heliophobe]

Granted. But the baker, before he put them on the shelf and sold them too you, really wanted some warm, soft, donuts too - around his penis. Cream filled, anyone?

I wish Bradley Nowell was still alive.

[Blushing Heliophobe]

Oops, double post. Disregard!

[WolfMoon]

Disregarded, but we still think you're a wanker.




I wish my cat would quit puking!

[Wise Child]

Granted. It all comes out the other end in double quantities. Better out than in, eh?

I wish I'd remembered my pillow when I came back after Xmas :-(

[Panther]

Granted. Only you remembered it on the plane ride back, and still don't have it.

I wish I had cable internet again.

[Bathory]

You trip on the cable and impale yourself on a foolishly placed novelty lightning conductor.

I wish there wasnt so much crap on television

[PinstripesAndPithHelmets]

Granted. Sadly, crap is a rather subjective term and everything is considered crap by at least one person. Television studios are forced to air nothing but static and white noise, which is then deemed to be overly stimulating by puritanical religions groups. It is replaced by a blank, soundless black screen. Not even the awesomeness that is the original Law and Order survives the purges. Lenny Briscoe proceeds to roll over in his grave.

I wish I had a flux capacitor for my '93 Altima.

[Sanctus Dei]

Granted, it takes you back in time to the 1930's where it "ironically" shatters leaving you stranding for all your remaining years.

I wish it I had more ambition...

[WolfMoon]

Granted, only you don't know what to do with it and end up ultimately doing nothing til your dying day.


I wish I were skinnier.

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

Granted. Your liver, stomach, and kidneys dissappear, making you very skinny... Right before you die and agonizing death. Sorry babe, but at least you got what you asked for.

I wish for super strength. (Wow, how original)

[WolfMoon]

Granted, all you super strength makes your penis disappear. But you've got super strength, so why do you need a penis, eh?




I wish Nick and Jessica would die in a firey crash somewhere after reconciling.

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

*glares at you menacingly*

Alright, let's do this. Granted, a firey crash into your house/apartment, they don't hit you, but the wreckage blocks the doors and you burn to death in your own house with them.

I wish I were a werewolf, and that there were many other werewolves (women perhaps ) around as well.

[WolfMoon]

Granted, you are a werewolf. You are surrounded by many beautiful female werewolves and are humped to death by them.


I wish I were a vampire so I wouldn't have to die.

[Sanctus Dei]

Granted but your bloodlust is so strong that you kill hundreds of innocent people, they catch you and lock you up for eternity.

I wish I was smart.

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

Oh you are too sweet, Wolfie.

WolfMoon: Granted, and you live for 700 years, in which you learn many things and become very wise, but after a while, you decide you want to glance at the sun once more and end your time on this world. You go to a beach and see the most beautiful sunrise you've ever seen before you disintegrate.


*edit* Dammit Sanctus, you beat me to it.

Sanctus: Granted, so smart, you collapse under the stress of your own genious and shoot yourself in the head.

I wish for a drink (non-poisonous, of course).

[WolfMoon]

You get a non poisonous drink provided you can remember this rhyme:

The vessle with the pestle hold the pill with the poison, The flagon with the dragon holds the brew that is true.

You are given a drink with neither a pestle or a dragon on it.........




I wish for perfect vision.

[Sanctus Dei]

Granted, but your vision is so perfect that you are able to see beyond death and you're forced to watch the maggots devour your flesh bit by disturbing bit.

I wish I had a more profitable career.

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

Granted. You are now part of the Mafia. Go ahead and just imagine all of the wonderfully gruesome ways you might die! Let's go with you die by being beat to death by a baseball bat. (I watched Casino recently )

I wish there were more stores open 24/7.

[WolfMoon]

Granted! A CVS moves next door to you. Needing a job you are sucked into the machine and not released until your late 30s when you realise you've wasted your life in a mediocre(hyper-mediocrity) job.


I wish I had a new car!

[cannibalnuns]

You are in a car wreck and you lose control of most of your motor functions due to the shere velocity of the impact. The damage is so extensive and your old vehicle is totaled. Insurance helps you to get the car of your dreams yet you can't drive it all to well.

I wish I had some new "unda"wear.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted!
A gypsy goes to your house and gives you a pair of boxers.
You put them out, and the boxers turn out to be carnivore!!
Tough luck...
I wish I stayed age 16 forever, but in two years I'll be legally an adult anyway

[JuliaGaltic]

Granted.

You're 16 forever. Too bad that the chastity belt stays on until you're 18.

I wish my cat didn't kill my boyfriend's uromastyx... =( He was only 2 years old, never even got to find out what color he was going to be. R.I.P. Oliver