Ben Lahnger than I'd like getting this second (!) intro up ...

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 11:28 AM

By the numbers:

1. I am 47, and I have held lots of positions. Some might say I can't keep a job. I've been a fast food cook and dishwasher, department store stockboy, loading dock worker, printing press operator, night watchman (for one night only!), factory assembler, iron and aluminum foundry worker, assistant manager of an appliance store, manager of convenience stores, video game stores and a payday loan office, among others. For more than 6 years I have been working in the cellular phone business, and am currently trying to get employed by Verizon Wireless in their customer service department. Hobbies include digital photography, collecting music and movies, following the Green Bay Packers and I enjoy making animated gifs on my computer.

2. I was born in Baraboo, Wisconsin, U.S.A. - the self proclamed "Circus Capitol of the World." In fact, I was born at St. Mary's Ringling Brothers Hospital - some would say that explains me! Since then I have lived in the Wisconsin cities of Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Brookfield and West Allis, as well as West Dundee, Illinois. Most recently I lived in Palestine (pronounced "pal-us-teen" by the locals), TX and now call Houston, Texas my home.

3. Oh, lord ... favorite author? Okay, listing some top-of-the-head names: Edgar Allen Poe, Clive Barker, Orson Scott Card, Douglas Adams, J. R. R. Tolkien, Robert Heinlein, Martin Cruz Smith, John LeCarre, Thomas Perry and Laurell K. Hamilton. And I want to make special mention of Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea - the "Illuminatus" trilogy and the "Shroedinger's Cat" quasi-sequel trilogy were the closest thing to a full-fledged acid trip as any book has ever taken me on. A singular experience, but most people can't get through them.

4. Rather than name off the usual suspects for my favorite films (ie: Edward Scissorhands, Lord Of The Rings, etc.), I thought I'd list off some of my favorite obscure or older films:

The Manchurian Candidate (original)
Suddenly!
12 Angry Men (both original and remake - great casts and plot)
Charly
Blood Simple
The Untouchables
Goodfellas
The Thin Blue Line
A Brief History of Time
Rear Window
Vertigo
Rebecca
Strangers On A Train
The Birds
Out Of The Past
D.O.A. (original)
Point Blank
The Late Show
Chinatown
Seven Samurai
The Magnificent Seven
The Great Escape
High Noon
Bad Day At Black Rock
Boot Hill / They Call Me Trinity / Trinity Is Still My Name
The Killing Fields
Apocalypse Now
The Hustler
Cool Hand Luke
The French Connection
The Conversation
The Taking Of Pelahm One Two Three
Dog Day Afternoon
Assault On Precinct 13 (original)
Suicide Kings
On The Beach
Dr. Strangelove (or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb)
An American Werewolf In London
Night of the Living Dead (original)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (original)
Carnival of Souls
The Incredible Shrinking Man
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
The Pit and The Pendulum
ReAnimator
Shawn of the Dead
Young Frankenstien
Some Like It Hot - The best closing punchline ever written for a comedy, "Nobody's perfect!"
The Inlaws (original version)
Heaven Can Wait (1978)
Harvey
M*A*S*H - (Robert Altman's original, brilliant pre-television-series film)
One, Two, Three
City Lights
Monsieur Verdoux
Limelight
Duck Soup
Animal Crackers
The Odd Couple - "I can't stand the little notes on my pillow. 'We're all out of corn flakes. F.U.' It took me three hours to figure out that F.U. was Felix Unger!"
Shampoo
Animal House
Zelig
Being There
Deathtrap
Murder by Death
Dark City
Buckaroo Banzai
Cherry 2000
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Brother From Another Planet
Dark Star
Cannibal Women In The Avacodo Jungle of Doom (!)
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-rama (!!)
The Terror of Tiny Town - the all midget western (!!!)
Singin' in the Rain
The Wizard of Oz
Lillies of the Field

And I better stop before (or because I already did) get carried away. Special mention for all things Python. You get the idea.

5. I've been married once (I picked the original "When A Man Loves A Woman" to play then) and I am not likely to try that again. I like having girlfriends and think dating is the finest form of human romantic relationship.

6. I'd like a funeral like an Irish wake, with drinking and partying. I want people to feel like dancing their asses off, so a set list including songs like "Boogie Shoes", "Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch", "It's The Same Old Song" and "The Nuetron Dance" would make me very happy. How un-goth, eh?!?

7. Since some days it feels like I've been around longer that dirt, the inevitable day of my death seems to be coming closer and closer. My family is long lived, so I expect to die of old age / natural causes in my mid eighties or later. I want to get away with being a loveable, cranky old man.

8. Not thinking I want to be worm or fish food, so no coffin for me. Just cremate my remains. Then I get to go into the ground, and maybe someday fertilze plants ... which people might eat. Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

9. What's your FAVORITE outfit? I hear those Navy Seals are a pretty amazing group of individuals.

10. What's one thing you miss about being a little kid? Pooping from the neighbors tree!

11. I'm going to have some fun listing some of my favorite bands and musicians:

The Rolling Bones
John Doe Mayer
Prey Charles
Punk Floyd
Deep 6 Purple
Grateful Dead (natch)
Boo Fighters
Violent Femme Fatales (gotta love "Dance, Motherfucker, Dance"!)
Dead Zeppelin
Colective Soul (again, natch)
Sheryl Stormcrow
Tom Petty and the Heart Stoppers
Bloody Guy
Poe (of course)
The Doomy Brothers
Gravestone Temple Pilots
Dead Hot Chili Peppers
Vamp Halen
They Might Be Gaunt
Buckshot Zydeco
Bony Bennet

12. What kind of education do you have? High School Graduate - accomplished in fine ADHD style by acing all the tests and finals but rarely completing any homework. I'm proud of my C average and my rebellious youth!

13. Why did you join? I hate falling apart.

14. If the pornstar-wannabe pun in my user name didn't make it clear, I'm a guy.

And if my 1000+ other posts around here didn't make my personality clear, well ... you'll get to know me soon enough.

rockandrose · 03-26-2006, 02:19 PM

Benny!!!

I'm glad you've joined and that you're still alive.

It was your avatar that first got me noticed. You're a great member to this site and don't you ever leave!

crimsonjoy · 03-26-2006, 03:02 PM

Hi, there. Love your movie selection; you mention the Odd Couple movie! But Tony Randall and Jack Klugman will always be Felix and Oscar to me.

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 03:42 PM

rockandrose, thank you, doll! Always good to hear a kind word from you. I'm not planning on going anywhere.

Oh, and to explain my title, this is my second intro because my first one was deleted when the old introductions thread was eliminated. That's okay, because I like this one better anyway.

crimsonjoy, thank you. Re: The Odd Couple - Well, I liked Jack Klugman and Tony Randall's performances, but Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau did it first ... and were able to use a little bit more adult content, so I'm partial to the movie.

It's the same quandry I have with M*A*S*H ... everyone is familiar with the television show, and I admired it and watched it with everyone. But before it ever existed, I loved the movie ... so much so that I read the book and two sequel volumes.

Beowulf · 03-26-2006, 03:53 PM

Ben,

You like Young Frankenstein (`Thats Fronkon-steen`), that film rawks, easily Mel Brooks`s best film.

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No..."Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
IMDB

I see you listed `Seven Samurai`, I was wondering what other Kurosawa films you liked?.

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 03:58 PM

Beowulf, I agree that YF is easily Brooks' best. I actually am only familiar with Seven Samarai, but when I start working again and can afford it, I am going to get others. I'd appreciate your recommendations on the subject.

Beowulf · 03-26-2006, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Beowulf, I agree that YF is easily Brooks' best. I actually am only familiar with Seven Samarai, but when I start working again and can afford it, I am going to get others. I'd appreciate your recommendations on the subject.

Ben,

The Kurosawa films I reccomend are `Hidden Fortress` (huge inspiration on George Lucas for Star Wars `Episode 4 :A New Hope`), Rashamon, Yojimbo (again this film inspired `A Fistful of Dollars` by Sergio Leone), and not forgetting Kurosawa`s version of Shakespeare`s King Lear `Ran`. These films are brilliant, on the subject of Japanese films have you seen `Onibaba` ?.

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 04:23 PM

I'm actually a neophyte, and other than Seven Samarai and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I have seen nothing yet. Although I have a weakness for Jackie Chan, but I don't consider those serious films.

I am very open to this, and actually was thinking about Yojimbo and Ran, but now will add all of those to my list. I was so impressed with Samarai, and usually when one film by a director is that compelling to me, I will like all his work. It was that way with Hitchcock, Kubric (less Eyes Wide Shut), Lumet, Wilder and others, and I have that sense about Kurosawa now.

What can you tell me about Onibaba?

Beowulf · 03-26-2006, 04:42 PM

Ben,

I watched Onibaba, at college as part of a film course, and it`s a very unusual film, but it is very good, I found you a Summary of it off IMDB (click for more info..).

"After enlisting as a volunteer in a war in 14th century Japan, his wife and mother remain living in a swamp. They eke out their living by ambushing worn-out warriors, killing them and selling their belongings to a greedy merchant. The woman comes to mistrust her daughter-in-law who has coupled up with a deserter, and begins to wear a facial mask she has taken from a slain samurai. Soon the mask will not come off again. In this disguise she is at first taken for a demon by her daughter."

Well worth checking out...

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 04:45 PM

I will look for it. Thank you very much!

Magpie_Tendencies · 03-26-2006, 07:47 PM

Dammit! Took me ages to figure out the title of this thread. Then it made me laugh... when I finally got it. Yes, I am a little slow on the uptake...

edible_eye · 03-26-2006, 08:53 PM

ben -

you kick ass. 'nuff said.

WolfMoon · 03-26-2006, 09:01 PM

Ha-ha

*points at Magpie*

It took me a while to appreciate the name as well. Til I said it out loud.

Ben, have you ever seen a movie titled "Mad Love"?
It's a Peter Lorre.

edit: Damn you fast posting wankers!

angel011 · 03-26-2006, 11:44 PM

Speaking of Kurosawa, I'd recommend Dreams and Kagemusha.

Ben Lahnger · 03-26-2006, 11:54 PM

Magpie, that's okay. I out clevered myself with the not-so-obvious pun. As you can see by what Wolfie has said above, and from other comments around the forums here, nobody gets it at a glance. That's okay, if I ever DO decide to pursue that porn career (yeah, right!) I'll just pick a better name, like B. Bigger!

E-E, thanks, man. That means a lot coming from you.

Geisha, hmmmmm ... like a fine wine you just get better with every post. I especially have enjoyed our little verbal jousting of late. Amoung your many other charms, you have an extemely well developed wit. I like that ... MUCH!

Wolfie, have I told you lately that you are fabulous. I never grow tired of your avatar, and never fail to be impressed with your passionate commitment to this site. Plus, you are the bringer of the BOOBIE goodness ... a cause for much celebration!

No, I've not heard of "Mad Love". But the mention of Lorre's name has my interest piqued. What's it about?

eyes, you know, I never asked, but do you mind having your name shortened? A lot of names the quick version seems natural and appropriate, like Magpie above. But there is more than one user name here with eyes in it, if I'm not mistaken. Although, I'm certain it's clear who we're talking to when we do it.

Thank you for the compliment. It's been easy, since it is such a genuine pleasure to talk to bright and beautiful people like y'all. Yep, I said it ... "y'all". I've officially been in Texas too long now!

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 12:26 AM

Ben, you're hot.

And I am glad you are hear. I look forward to your posts.

Thanks for being here.

ChreRot · 03-27-2006, 12:47 AM

Ben, speaking of classic Japanese films have you seen any of Teshigahara's stuff, Woman of the Dunes, The Face of Another, and Pitfall?

Remarkable films every one of them.

I am also a big Sam Peckinpah and Roman Polanski aficionado. Posted my introduction but really didn't give much details.

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 01:19 AM

Ha, I typed hear instead of here...

Sorry all, I'm kind of out-of-it today.

succubus,queenofvampires · 03-27-2006, 05:27 AM

Hey,Ben!
You changed your avatar... Who's your new girl?

Ben Lahnger · 03-27-2006, 06:41 AM

angel011, Thank you. I'm adding those recommendations to my list.

Tenet, thanks for the compliment. Getting the Tenet hotness award really is special to me. You know, I realize you have good days and bad, but even on a bad day you bring more to the table than most people on the internet. I've mentioned it before, but I'll gladly say it again: I look forward to your particular kind of randomness more than anyone else's. I am really glad YOU are here!

ChreRot, thank you for those recommendations. Those sound interesting, too. So many good movies, so little time ...

succubus,queenofvampires, hey back atcha! Yeah, I'm building a regular stable of girls to dance in my posts. I think I have as much fun making them as I do seeing them on the forums. I don't know the current lady's name, so I'm just calling her "Busty Denim Jacket Girl"!

Next up, Jennifer Garner behind a door. Ha ha hah!

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 06:46 AM

Then, you should check my latest post in randomness.

I posted it for and a few others. Figured you'd get a kick out of it.

Ben Lahnger · 03-27-2006, 06:52 AM

I'll be there in a minute. My connection speed is bogged down because I'm on dial-up and uploading an 8 minute audio clip to youtube.com for Sanctus ... a little humorouis number about restaurant work that I thin she'll appreciate and will link to in Random.

By the way, I liked the post about trading bibles for porn. I'm personally of the mind that if fewer bibles were handed out and more Playboys were given away, the world would be a more peaceful place.

It's just a wild, unprovable opinion.

tenet_2012 · 03-27-2006, 07:01 AM

Muppet time.

Go Kermit, Go!

succubus,queenofvampires · 03-27-2006, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

succubus,queenofvampires, hey back atcha! Yeah, I'm building a regular stable of girls to dance in my posts. I think I have as much fun making them as I do seeing them on the forums. I don't know the current lady's name, so I'm just calling her "Busty Denim Jacket Girl"!

Next up, Jennifer Garner behind a door. Ha ha hah!

Hehee...Well, I'll be looking out for them!

DemureDemise · 03-27-2006, 09:26 AM

Good to know all of that stuff Ben.