I was thinking of going to therapy.

[BLEED REBELION!!!]

I was thinking of maybe going to therapy but. im not sure exactly of how it works.
Does anyone know how much it usualy costs?
And being as im a minor I was wondering about the whole doctor patient confidentiality thing.
If I some one were to tell their shrink about sexual abuse that took place in the past would the shrink be obligated to tell the kids parent?
Has anyone actually gone to therapy and if you have do you think it works?
Also any advice on how to pick a good head doctor and not get screwed over for the price?

[Magpie_Tendencies]

I think that Psychiatrists are required to report sexual abuse of minors to the police but I don't think that they have to report it to the parents (I'm not totally certain about that though, so don't quote me).

I'm not sure about the cost. As far as whether it helps, it really depends on who you see. If you see someone that you get along with, or at least someone who you respect, then it can certainly help. Sometimes though, you get someone who you don't get along with or who you just look down on as being idiotic or biased or various other reasons.

If you can't talk to them or you don't respect them, then you're not getting your money's worth.

If you do have sexual abuse in your past, then I would recommend talking to someone about it about it. Even just your GP. I never liked any of the shrinks I went to see but I have a very deep respect for my GP as someone who is willing to listen and is intelligent and unbiased.

It isn't healthy to hide sexual abuse and if you report it now, to a psychiatrist, GP, teacher, friend, someone may be able to help you through it. Even if you think you're doing ok. In my personal experience, if you're at a point where you’re considering going to see someone then it’s probably in your best interests to do so. Sooner rather than later.

[Delicate_Torture]

I'm a nurse and I also have a mental illness which means that I see both a psychiatrist and a psychologist regularly. I live in Australia, though... so what I'm about to tell you might not be the way that it works where you are, I'm assuming that you live in the USA?

First of all, there is a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist.

A psychiatrist works with people who have mental illnesses, they diagnose problems and prescribe treatments. The treatments could range from medication, behavioural management classes, yoga for relaxation, exercise to increase seratonin (which is a chemical that your brain makes that stablises your moods) and all sorts of other things.

A psychologist is a therapist. They will listen to you a lot, ask you some questions and guide you through a process of discovering the motivation behind the way that you feel. Through that understanding of why you feel a certain way, you can then talk about methods of changing the behaviours that you don't like within yourself.

If you decide that you want to go and see someone then your first step is to go to your GP and get a letter of referral to either a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Most of the time they will refer you to a psychiatrist who will talk to you for a little while and work out what is the best course of treatment for you. Often a psychiatrist will have a suggestion of a psychologist that you could go and see. It is important that you feel comfortable with them as people, but remember that you aren't going to feel comfortable with them straight away because they are strangers to you. Therapy takes a long, long time but it really is worth it and I've found it invaluable in my life.

In Australia if you are a minor then your parents have the right to know what is going on between you and your therapist, but most of the time the therapist will just give them vague answers and try to tell them as little as possible if you don't really want your parents involved. This stops when you turn 16 here, though. The best way to find out what the deal with that is where you live is to actually ask your GP about it, or the therapist/psychiatrist that you get referred to. Most psychiatrists and therapists won't call your parents to tell them that you are their client, but if your parents ask questions they are bound to answer them. Just remember that they are on your side.

No one is legally bound to tell your parents of any sexual abuse that you are or have been sexually abused. A doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist are legally bound to report any symptoms of abuse to the authorities, though. This might mean the police, or it might mean child services. What often happens is that someone will then come and interview you at school or somewhere else, often away from your parents because as far as they know there is always the risk that one of your parents are the abuser. Often with old cases of abuse the doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist won't have to report it because it happened too long ago, as long as they are certain it isn't something that is still going on. They will help you work through the issues that the abuse has created in your life, though... and it always creates issues.

As for cost, I'm afraid that I can't tell you that. You could phone some psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors and ask them. Explain that you are however old you are and that you feel that you really need to get some therapy... they might have a way to get you on a free plan or something.

Personally, I am lucky. Australia has a government funded medical program for seeing doctors, however it doesn't cover psychologists or psychiatrists. However because I've been diagnosed with BipolarI I am able to see my psychiatrist for free. I still have to pay for my medication and I have to pay for my psychologist. My meds cost about $70 a month and my psychologist costs me $160 a visit. I usually see him every week. I am able to claim part of that back on my tax return though.

If you look into all of this and can't see any of it as an option, don't forget there are other avenues to explore. There are helplines that you can contact over the phone. If your issues are to do with sexual abuse then a good one to get involved with can be found online at http://www.rainn.org. The front of your phonebook should have a listing of helpline numbers. The other things that you can do if you get really stuck is to phone your local hospital and ask to speak with a social worker or someone in the mental health area and then you can ask them for some contact numbers.

Rainn.org has a national tollfree helpline if you are in the USA which is 1.800.656.HOPE

I hope that some of this helps.

[Draconysius]

I've had a therapist for years now, though I just stopped seeing him. Nevertheless, it's always a good idea to seek one for guidance. However, just with every other situation, you might end up with either a caring, generous therapist, or a real asshole of one. Just remember that you don't HAVE to stay with one in particular if it's not working out between the two of you.

[HumanePain]

In California, the various county departments of mental health are mandated by state law to serve everyone regardless of ability to pay; my son, being an independent adult, and needing to talk to someone went there and they charged him a one time $37 fee that is good for the entire year. He can go back anytime and talk to the counselor for free.

[MollyMac]

Most states in teh US offer sliding scale rates based on ability to pay. One thing I would advise you to do is to call RAINN 1.800.656.HOPE, it's the ****, Abuse, Incest National Network (I know some of those words will be edited, but Google RAINN). I am still one of their phone counselors for Missouri, and can tell you that:

1) It is anonymous unless you choose to give your name
2) If you choose to give your name, all counselors are mandated reporters and they will have to give any known names of child abuse cases to the court and local police and DFS
3) They can refer you to local, sliding scale counselling
4) They can give you immediate assistance if you are in a state of distress, etc.

I would also recommend speaking with a school counselor to see what resources he/she has available, same with a clergyperson, should there be one. The only caveat is that they are often mandated reporters as well. YWCAs tend to have support groups that help you learn some coping skills and meet others in a similar situation.

All the same, no matter when it happened, it is not something that people just "get over", but it is also not something that will mark you for life unless you let it.

One quick thing you can do for general advice- kind of a Web Support group, is another forum that I don't know if I can mention here or not... But screw it. Pandora's Aquarium is a web forum associated with RAINN and obviously Tori Amos, who was a founder.

(As it is not a competing forum and for assistance of a G.Net member, I do not believe my mentioning of it is against the rules or whathave you, but I apologize if it is, admins.)

[BLEED REBELION!!!]

Thanks for all the advice.. but I have questions.
Whats a GP?
And no im not going through anything now what im talking about now happened a while ago.
And there is no way in hell im telling my mom or any other family member (or teacher) i prefer to keep this private. I dont want them going "ohhhh so thats whats wrong with her".
I just want to talk to someone who A) wont tell other people B) actualy knows what their talking about.

It might be kinda hard to do this because my moms gonna want to know where I am so i would need an alibi.
Ive been dealing with it one my own reasontly (as oppsed to pretending it never happened). And ive made friends with some people with similar experiences so yeah im dealing with it

[Delicate_Torture]

A GP is a General Practitioner... which is another name for a Doctor who hasn't specialised in anything and just has a normal practice. You know the sort that you might go to because you have the flu or something like that?

It's a great thing that you want to deal with what you have gone through. You might be surprised where you get support from in your life. I was shocked when I told my Dad that I had been attacked and sexually assaulted a few years ago, I thought that he would yell and be angry, rant and scream because he is a cop and it happened in the precinct (we call them Area Commands) of Sydney that the Police Station he runs is protecting. When I told my Dad he just looked at me and said "I am so proud of you for telling me about this." It was the most perfect thing that he could've said in that moment.

I suggest that your best start would be to phone someone at RAINN.ORG. They will be able to talk to you about things and also give you current and correct information for your state and your situation. They will also talk to you about how you are feeling about talking to people you know about things.

[Tin_Lizzie]

All of the above is excellent advice. I would only add what I’ve learned through my own experiences. I suppressed my pain for years, and it came back as post-traumatic stress when I hit 40, so YES I think it’s a very good idea to work it through now, before it has a chance to ruin your life. My experience in finding a therapist wasn’t so good, the GP told me to get a job and get over it. I persisted, until I referred myself to a clinic where I saw two psychologist/therapists, with whom I spent the entire time arguing, and finally one who was helpful (although I’m not sure she really “gets” me but at least she tries). In my own case I’ve refused drugs in favor of herbal and natural remedies. That’s something you need to decide for yourself. I think we need to take a proactive approach in all health-care issues, because nobody has as much at stake in your health as you do. Personally, I didn’t find group therapy helpful, but maybe that’s because there’s not that many people with my particular circumstances.

There’s a book that can help you through some of this on your own: The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

[Lynn377]

I personally love therapy. I hope you are able to find a therapist that can help you with your specific problems and everything. If you are under 18 I really don't have much input about how to keep stuff away from your parents. I can only wish you the best of luck. But talking to friends and such can sometimes help, until you are able to get to a professional on you own. You might want to try at the local Social Services Dept in your area,they may be able to refer you to help that would fit your situation. I live in VA and our Social Services Dept can do that kind of stuff. Also , you might want to check out and see if there is a Mental Health Community Services Board in your area, they might also be able to help. Well, that is what it is called here in VA. Hope this was some help.

[republigoth]

Shrinks are only obligated to report abuse if it is an immediate threat to a minor. Unless they're a total a**hole, they'll be discreet, and your medical history has to remain private by law, once you're 18. That includes mental history.

Unless you join the army. Then you'll have a lie about it and hope you don't get caught. ~crosses fingers~

[Graveyard.Crow]

I got my therapy for free from the governmentr. You have to sign up from your school and they send you to a clinic.

[BLEED REBELION!!!]

thanks for all the replys.

Does any one know if there is a statue of limitations on this kinda stuff? I was thinking of pressing charges but I want to wait till im 18 and moved out. And Ireally have no evidence, just he said she said shit.

[Delicate_Torture]

Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!

thanks for all the replys.

Does any one know if there is a statue of limitations on this kinda stuff? I was thinking of pressing charges but I want to wait till im 18 and moved out. And Ireally have no evidence, just he said she said shit.

The therapist that you see will be able to talk with you about things like that, and will also be able to link you up with various legal resources should you need them. Another way to find out is to just phone the local police station and ask questions... you can tell them that you are writing a story or that you are researching a paper for school. I've often found legal information out that way and the police can be amazingly helpful. Write down the questions that you want to ask before you call, though... so that you don't get flustered.

[MollyMac]

There is no statute of limitiations on child sexual abuse. For r***, there is a 2-20 or no limitation.