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Old 02-20-2008, 02:22 PM   #1
weepingblood
 
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Jesus Saves :)

OK this is inspired by the Unofficial Religion thread where lots of people are bashing religion.

If you are not religious you are welcome here, but if you hate religion then this is not the thread for you, please do not turn it negative.

People who are saved or who want to be saved.. describe your experiences with Jesus. I will talk about mine later if people reply.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:24 PM   #2
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I'mma Stab Mary, Holy Mother Of The Baby Jesus, In Her Vajayjay!!!
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:25 PM   #3
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Dear little Baby Jesus sitting in the manger all magestic
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Oh shit!!!*tries to run away, but trips, he breaks his neck on a stool*No I know how Hilary Swank feels like.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:26 PM   #4
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I look like Jesus.

Only I'm cuter.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:27 PM   #5
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Fine, enjoy Hell.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:34 PM   #6
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I got a condo there.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:41 PM   #7
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Can I sublet it?
I have nowhere to go on Sundays, with everyone wanting to be on God's good side and all.
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People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:45 PM   #8
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OK, but NO parties!
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:52 PM   #9
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Almost choked on Jesus, they should warn former Protestants about the fucker in the King Cake.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:54 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weepingblood
Fine, enjoy Hell.

Aww and you said not to turn it negative!

I will do my best to keep my terribly evil, pagan self from spoiling your jesus laden thread.....
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:54 PM   #11
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Sorry about that, I should have warned about how big my penis is.
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:55 PM   #12
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Hahaha, I don't mean to be a killjoy but this is a thread for Jesus, could you possibly make one of your own to joke around in?
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:55 PM   #13
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So, seeing as I look like Jesus, is this another thread about me?
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:57 PM   #14
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But if we are joking about Jesus, then the jokes belong in teh Jebus thread, no?
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Old 02-20-2008, 02:59 PM   #15
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Good point.

You make a very valid point.

Molly made a rather interesting point.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:00 PM   #16
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No parties in hell?
How is that hell?
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I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:02 PM   #17
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Just in my house.

I got it just how I like it.

I don't want you and your wacky friends comin' in, cleaning everything up.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:03 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyMac
But if we are joking about Jesus, then the jokes belong in teh Jebus thread, no?
Well no, lol. I can see how you might think that, after all God has a sense of humour, but this is a thread for serious discussion of how you got saved or if you would like to be saved.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:05 PM   #19
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Wow... the sardonic is lost on you. Get a net with a 20 foot reach, you may catch it next time.

Not saved, nto Christian. enjoy your faith of sorrows, I will enjoy mine of breath.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:05 PM   #20
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OBVIOUSLY God has a sense of humour. He made you.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:07 PM   #21
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You may find that your thread will become a hotbed of religious bickering and mockery. Your religion is more than slightly less than popular here ( or so it has always seemed since I joined ) .

If people wish to be " saved " they will no doubt visit a church of some sort. Not come here.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:10 PM   #22
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I got saved.
From dogmaticism.
When I reached the age of reason.
Praise be Jeebus!!
For being so contradictory that it was impossible not to stop believing in him and start believing in myself. Kisses and hugs for our best imaginary friend
(Invisible blasphemy/truth)
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"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.

I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:10 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeythorn
You may find that your thread will become a hotbed of religious bickering and mockery. Your religion is more than slightly less than popular here ( or so it has always seemed since I joined ) .

If people wish to be " saved " they will no doubt visit a church of some sort. Not come here.
But I am not trying to recruit people to my faith, merely to discuss it with likeminded people. It's not like I am knocking on your door shoving my religion down your throat. I hate the way everyone assumes all Christians are trying to force it on them, all I want to do is discuss the one good thing in my life with other Christians, what is wrong with that?
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:11 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weepingblood
merely to discuss it with likeminded people.
Likeminded people? Christians?
Please, remember, we are a gothic!
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"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.

I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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Old 02-20-2008, 03:12 PM   #25
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all your bibles are belong to us.




go to a christian forum.
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I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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